Inspired Path® Living

Gone Fishing

2010-08-29T21:22:00.001-07:00

You may have noticed that I've been absent from my blog for a couple weeks. I'd like to explain!

I'm in the process of helping my first nephew get ready to start college this fall. It has been a whirlwind of activity!!

That, on top of the house issues i've had this past month: a clogged sewer line, a botched plumbing job in my basement and an A/C failure, have kept me incredibly busy.

I'm taking time off to be fully present to the various tasks at hand.

I shall return, just as soon as I'm able!

Happy Summer!

Surviving the Avalanche

2010-08-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

I had a tough week last week. I had two major problems in my household crop up. I found out that I have a plumbing leak under the concrete foundation of my house. I also had my air conditioning unit fail - during the hottest week we've experienced so far this summer in the Seattle area. Sigh.

The problems required troubleshooting and service appointments, yet nothing is resolved. Hopefully this coming week, all the repairs will be completed. Both issues, however, are pretty disruptive to normal schedules and life.

I also experienced some interpersonal challenges as well. Communication challenges in a couple of relationships and an ongoing, unresolved conflict with a couple friends.

In addition to all that, there were some really big projects that I am in the midst of.

As I said, it was a tough, taxing week. There was a point today, while I was on a long drive, when I had to wait for 30 minutes for an accident to be cleared off the road in front of me. Later I was stuck behind people driving 40 in a 55 MPH speed zone. There were several moments today on that drive where I literally thought I was going to scream. What should have been a 3.5 hour drive took 5.5 hours. The frustration I felt was incredibly intense.

Once I arrived home from that drive... I had to spend some time decompressing. I took a lot of deep breaths. I put on comfortable clothes. I did a little venting. I started to feel a little better.

I thought about what things might be like one week from now. These problems might be completely behind me by then. I went out to two weeks from now. I am fairly certain that these issues will be all handled in that amount of time. Then I projected out to 1 month from now. I'll be on to other issues by then - both positive and negative. After that I thought about my life one year from now. Will I even remember these problems by then? If I do, will they have the emotional 'charge' that they have now? I sincerely doubt it.

These are toady's problems, challenges and growth opportunities. My only responsibility is to take them as they come - one at a time and do the best I can to handle them well. So that is what I'm doing.

First, I'm going to have a good, long, restorative sleep! I'll face what comes... tomorrow!

A Deep Shift

2010-08-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

This week started out really, really hard. Several unexpected problems cropped up and seemed intractable. I must admit, I was frustrated and a bit defeated.

Then... something happened.

I worked on keeping my attitude positive and focused. I was determined to do what I could do about the problems, and release the outcome. I stayed the course.

Within a short period of time, things began to shift.

One problem, was a mysterious water problem in the basement of my house. It took me 3 solid days of troubleshooting and testing to determine the basic cause of the problem. When I started this process, I wasn't sure I would be able to determine the cause. I did figure out the cause. Now I can call a plumber, and direct them to the immediate source of the problem. I saved myself a lot of money by doing the troubleshooting and testing myself. It was tense and frustrating, but now I'm on the path to a true and lasting solution.

There were a couple other major issues in my life that seemed really 'messed up' this week, and now, after careful attention and consideration, they seem to be straightening themselves out.

I can't emphasize this enough. Our attitude and our determination are THE most important determinant of our direction and success level. THE most important.

I could have just given up on these problems. I could have turned it over to other people to deal with. Instead, I focused, stayed positive and did all that I knew how to do to affect a positive outcome. It worked!

Get a hold of your attitude and your mind! It is the most powerful tool in your toolbox!

Slip Slidin' Away

2010-08-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

I spent a delightful weekend with my niece at a water park. In addition to spending quality time with my precious niece, I was challenging my fears about going down large, scary water slides.

I'd been given a lot of advice about going to the water park. By far the best advice I was given was to 'relax' and just enjoy the sliding!

Resistance is futile! Especially when you are being propelled down a slippery slope by gravity and a lot of rushing water!

On the water slide, there is no holding on to the sides to keep yourself from going down. Once you start there is no stopping... you are going down!

No matter what scary twists and turns appear you have to ride it out. No matter what perilous drops occur you go over them. It's a great metaphor for life. Go with the flow!

I found that the fears that I had quickly dissipated. It is often true that our fears seem much larger than they turn out to be when we face them squarely. This proved to be true in my water slide adventure.

If you've never been down a water slide, I highly recommend it! It's a great way to prove some universal truths to yourself, most importantly that going with the flow is the true path to joy and freedom!

If you can't go down a water slide, then you'll have to find another way to embrace that truth!

Go with the flow!!

We're Starting Over Aren't We!

2010-08-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

Last Monday I went in to my bank to cash a check. After I handled my banking, I was leaving the bank and one of the employees passing by said, "Have a great day!" Then he stopped and said, "Actually, have a great week! We're starting over, aren't we!"

His comment stuck with me as I got into my car and drove away. "We're starting over, aren't we!" It was Monday. A new week stretched before us. I liked his enthusiastic acknowledgement that we had a chance to 'start over.'

What if we could live every day that way? Realizing that each year, month, week, day or moment is a chance to let go of what has come before and 'start over.' I love this idea!

We get so hung up on what has come before. We get stuck looking over our shoulder at what is behind us. This slows us down and prevents us from moving forward fully.

Letting go of what has passed behind us, even if it was just 5 minutes ago, and moving fully into our future is a powerful way to live.

Happy Monday! We're starting over... this moment!

Finding What You Need

2010-08-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a major cleaning project in my home. I have been going through drawers, medicine cabinets and closets to weed out old bath/body products and medicines.

I'm amazed at the stuff I'm finding. Some of it's expired. Some of it is way past expired. Some of it is perfectly good, but no longer of use to me. Some things are spoiled and rancid! It's amazing how all these things have lurked in drawers and closets for so long.

I'm being ruthless in my purging. I'm getting rid of more than I'm keeping. Some I'm giving away. Some just has to be tossed in the trash.

I'm feeling lighter and more care free with every toss.

Something interesting has been happening simultaneously. As I've weeded out and purged this stuff, I've suddenly started to be successful in my search for various articles of clothing that I've been wanting to replace for quite some time. New exercise pants, swim suits, sweat suits and a few other things. I've been searching for these items for quite some time with no luck. Now, suddenly, the perfect items have been presenting themselves to me without much effort.

I really believe that my willingness to 'let go' of things that are no longer right for me has made 'space' for me to find what I really want. They aren't the same types of 'things' but being willing to let go in any way makes space for something new.

I love that I get reminders in my real life of how this principle works. When these principles are reinforced, it gets easier and easier to practice them in more corners of my experience.

I'm delighted to be cleaning out so many old, outdated items from my home and my mind. I'm equally pleased to be embracing new, wonderful things and thoughts into my experience!

Try it! Find something that you can weed out from your physical space and use it as a metaphor for your willingness to let go of anything (internal or external) that no longer fits you and the life you want to live! Make way for the new!!

Handle it Quick

2010-08-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

I got a cable TV and Internet bill in the mail this week. I was shocked to see that it was more than double the amount of last month's bill!

It appeared that my 'promotional deal' had expired a month ago, and the new plans I was included in were much more expensive.

Normally, with something like that, I would set it aside for a couple days before calling to deal with it. The annoyance I would feel about something like this and the hassle I was sure it would be to resolve it, would normally cause me to procrastinate a bit before I handled it.

Today, however, I decided to just do it! I opened the bill and within a few minutes I called the cable company to get started. I explained that I needed to make some changes to my account.

Within 15 minutes, I had things arranged exactly as I wanted them. My bill will be about $20 a month higher than it was, which was entirely acceptable to me. I knew my promo deal wouldn't last forever. The phone support person was really helpful and it was quite painless to resolve.

I could have ruminated about it for a few days and then made the call. I would have wasted a lot of thought energy worrying about how hard it was going to be to get it all straightened out. In other words, I could have wasted a lot of precious life force on something that would never happen.

How often in life to do we put things off, thinking they will be awful for us to deal with, only to find that they aren't nearly as difficult as we thought they would be?

Got some things lurking on your to do list that you've been putting off? Tackle one today. Knock it out of the park! Do it NOW!

A New Route

2010-08-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I was driving home from my mother's house. It is usually a 4 hour drive. On this particular day the traffic was horrendous.

One portion of the drive that usually takes 30 minutes took me 1.5 hours! I'd heard on the radio that I would be facing similar traffic for my entire drive. I was really frustrated.

It was 4pm so I decided to take an upcoming exit and stop at one of my favorite places to eat. They have tremendous turkey burgers! I considered eating dinner and seeing a movie to let the traffic die down. I took my road map into the restaurant with me so I could see if there were any alternate routes available to me.

To my surprise the very exit I had taken yielded a perfect route through the countryside and would take me directly home. Under normal circumstances the freeway drive would have taken me 2.75 hours from that point. With traffic as it was, I'm guessing it would have taken me more than 5 hours to get home. My new route that I discovered took me 3 hours, but it was scenic, uncrowded and gorgeous!

This new route was perfect! My willingness to explore a different option and take it saved me an incredible amount of frustration and wasted time.

There was a time in my life where it wouldn't have even occurred to me to check out an alternative. I would have simply stuck with the route I knew and suffered through the traffic.

I'm grateful that I've cultivated the ability to change gears when I need to. I say 'cultivated the ability' because this is not something that I have always done or known how to do. I've had to practice the willingness to shift directions and try something new.

My spontaneous route discovery, in response to changing conditions, is my reward for all the work I've done to make this ability a part of the way I approach my life. It enhances and enriches my days in more ways than I can describe.

I know that my willingness to 'take a new route' in the outer circumstances of my life is also indicative of my willingness to take new routes inside myself. I can think in different ways. I can make new decisions. I can alter my outer course in greater ways than simply driving a new road on a trip I've taken 100s of times.

We can practice cultivating this ability to move in new ways by changing our routines. Drive a different route once in a while. Switch the order of your morning tasks. Change which pant leg you put on first. Find someway to shake up your ordinary routines and let it shift you through and through!

Explore new routes! Make your life a great adventure!

A Very Wise 5-Year Old

2010-08-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we look outside ourselves for something or someone to change our mood. We focus on the outer world and expect it to conform to our preferences and needs. We hook our moods to our outer circumstances. This is a recipe for a very unstable and unhappy life.

I saw something in my cousin's facebook post the other day that really made sense to me.

He was writing about his 5 year old daughter. She was taking a shower, and singing a little song to herself,

"If you want to laugh... just tickle yourself, tickle yourself."

Out of the mouths of babes. This little girl has the secret! We are totally capable of altering our own moods and changing our own state of mind.

We have the power within us to shift from the inside out. She didn't sing,

"Go find someone else to tickle you,"

now did she?

Have you tickled yourself lately? Have you found something that feeds your soul and makes your heart sing and done it... just for the heck of it?

We need to become inner directed. It will serve us well to stop looking to other people or outer circumstances to set our internal tone! We have the ultimate authority and responsibility for our state of mind and mood!

Tickle yourself!

Therapeutic Rebellion

2010-08-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Some of you have noticed that I have been 'away' for the past week or so. I didn't expect to take a break. Midweek last week I just hit sort of a wall. It was a type of mental block. I felt like I needed to take a bit of a rest from some of my daily tasks. That's what I did - and it felt great!

I had nothing urgent that I needed to attend to. I knew that the earth would not stop revolving if I stopped doing a few of my daily chores. Guess what? It didn't!

I did some special projects that I normally wouldn't have had time to tackle. I spent a lot more time than usual taking walks and hiking. I spend a lot of time thinking and writing. It felt good to just let my brain off the hook for a little while.

It was like a mini-vacation. I got a ton done, but it was different from my usual list of tasks.

It's important to give ourselves little 'time outs' once in a while. We need some 'down time' - whatever that means to us. If you're very cerebral like me, you might need more physical activity to balance it out. If your work is physically demanding, you might need to lie in a hammock once in a while!

Listen to what you need, and to the best of your ability - give it to yourself!

My little rebellion is over. I'm back!

Grab that Shoe

2010-07-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

I was watching Mr. Holland's Opus last night. It's one of my favorite movies!

You may recall that Mr. Holland is a high school band teacher.

There is a young man that the athletic coach asks Mr. Holland to teach an instrument to. This young man has no rhythm whatsoever.

Mr. Holland tries everything to teach this young many to play the bass drum.

I crack up every time I watch this scene in the movie. Mr. Holland resorts to grabbing the boys shoe and tapping it up and down to the beat of the music being played.

It takes a long while and Mr. Holland puts in a tremendous amount of time to help this boy find his rhythm and learn to play his instrument.

His dedication and commitment changed this young man's life.

Sometimes we don't get something right away. We just can't seem to get the hang of it. In many cases, we quit out of frustration and a sense of futility.

Persevering through that sort of floundering is part of many great success stories. It is something that most people simply won't do.

It's uncomfortable. Sometimes it's embarrassing. Sometimes it's extremely frustrating.

Yet, grabbing our own foot and tapping it to the beat of the music when all else fails, is the way to move past our failures into success.

Being willing to do whatever it takes is the key. No matter what that looks like or how long it takes.

When the Going Gets Tough

2010-07-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went on a hike that was billed as an 'unmaintained trail.' Hikers were warmed that they might have to do some bush whacking.

My friend and I hiked up the 'trail' for quite a while before we came to an area where we were facing a wall of brush. No matter which direction we looked, there were ferns, briers and small trees taller than we were. We had no choice. We started plowing our way through the brush.

Eventually, we emerged from the thick brush onto the trail once again. It was clear that there was a trail. We had just lost it.

Because of the warning we had received, we anticipated that we might encounter some tough terrain. So, on a couple occasions we got off the trail, plowed our way through difficult territory only to find ourselves eventually back onto a trail that was relatively easy to follow.

On our way back down the mountain, we were on the trail most of the time. When we suddenly found ourselves without a clear path to follow, we returned to the last known 'good state' on the trail and tried another direction. This proved to be a great strategy. Our descent was much, much easier because of our new approach.

We realized that sometimes, when the going gets super difficult, it is a sign that you are on the wrong track! If we had simply explored our options, we would have found an easier route.

The resistance that we encountered was a sign that we were 'off track.' There was an easier route available to us, very near at hand in fact, if only we had looked for it.

Persistence is a great thing. Sometimes, however, when every door appears closed to us on a particular avenue, we need to try another route.

Heading down any 'dead ends' lately? If so, back track a little bit and see if there might be another way to reach your destination!

Going Beyond Perceived Limitations

2010-07-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

I had such a great experience yesterday. I went hiking with a new friend. She's a much more experienced hiker than I am. She chose a trail that made me a little nervous from it's description.

It was a bit longer than my normal hikes and it involved a pretty serious climb on a slightly difficult to follow trail.

I had some apprehension about the hike. What if I couldn't keep up? What if it was too hard for me?

I really like to 'know' things. I am most comfortable when I'm familiar with the activity that I'm doing. When I hike, I enjoy knowing the trail I'm hiking and having a clear understanding of where I am and how far I have left to go.

My friend had never hiked the 'climbing' part of this trail, so she couldn't tell me where we were or how far we had to go as we traveled along. She was totally comfortable with the process of getting off the trail and finding our way back on.

Finally, after 3 hours of hiking, we arrived at our destination. A pristine, glorious Alpine Lake. It was such a fantastic reward!

I'm so delighted that I pushed through my hesitation and went on this hike! It was yet another reminder that I am capable of more than I give myself credit for.

It is so easy to let our fears and comfort zones keep us from fully experiencing life.

Challenge your fears. Confront your apprehensions and discomfort. Stretch out beyond your comfort zones and perceived limitations. Your life will be far richer and more satisfying if you do!

My friend and I at Marten Lake ~ WA

Gradual Transformation

2010-07-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've been going to the same resort on the Washington coast for almost 20 years. They have a long wooden staircase that goes from the resort, down through a wooded ravine/cliff to the ocean.

I have no idea how long the staircase has been there, but it is old and kind of beaten down.

The last time I was there, I noticed that they had replaced the top section of the staircase. Gone is the old gray, decaying wood. In it's place there was new, sturdy pressure treated wood. It looked really nice.

I was there this past week, and they had replaced the next section of the staircase. It is clear that their plan is to rebuild the entire, long staircase one section at a time.

In some ways, I am sad to see the old staircase go. It has a rustic, nostalgic appeal.

Yet, the old staircase, at times, has me wondering about it's safety. The new staircase is really sturdy and attractive. It looks like it will last for the long haul.

It's interesting the conflict I feel. Letting go of the old feels like some sort of a loss. Even though the old staircase is breaking down, it is familiar and has it's own charm.

Yet, the new staircase looks safer and more sturdy. It's very attractive and obviously built to last. It's going to be kind of fun to see the new staircase emerge over time.

Our own processes of change, transition and transformation can be similar. Even when the old structures are breaking down and failing, it is sometimes tough to let them go. Whether it's a relationship that has become unhealthy, a job that no longer meets our needs, or any other part of our lives that has become unworkable, it is amazing how we resist letting it go. Even when something new could not only replace but improve things, we hang on to the old.

I like the model of this staircase replacement. They are doing a section at a time. It is less of a shock that way. It is also a way of easing in to a radical transition. Those of us who are regulars have time to adjust to the new staircase and say goodbye to the old as it disappears.

Our own processes of change and transformation can be the same! If we plug away at changing things that require changing, we can ease into the transitions and transformations. We have time to respectfully let go of the old, broken down systems, and we can gradually embrace the new, improved structures.

Start letting go of things that need to go... bit by bit. As you do this, embrace the new, improved replacements that are available to you!

Finding the Way Home

2010-07-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've been enjoying a few days of R&R on the Washington coast. It has been a particularly busy past month or so, and I decided to give myself a little break. I am working a bit while I'm here, but for the most part I'm enjoying long beach walks, amazingly tasty seafood and all my favorite guilty pleasures - "fluff" magazines, scratch lottery tickets, jigsaw puzzles and of course, a good book.

Yesterday morning I took a walk on the beach with my coffee in hand, as is my 'beach custom.' It was an interesting set of conditions when I went walking. The beach was completely socked in with a low hanging fog. It also was one of the lowest tides I've experienced in a very long time. -1.8 on the tide scale.

I couldn't see very far in front of me because of the fog. Everything, in every direction was pure white. I kept trying to find the water's edge, but the tide was so far out that I never did actually see the ocean! There were large pools of standing water that separated me from the stretch of beach where the waves were actually crashing on the sand. I could hear the ocean, but I couldn't see it. It was an eerie sensation in some ways.

I walked for 45 minutes in one direction, reached a river I couldn't cross, and turned to return to my room and an inviting, hot shower.

The tide was turning and beginning to come back in, so I could see the ocean, but as I walked along the water's edge, I could not see the bluff upon which my hotel resided. The shore beyond the beach was totally obscured in the fog. I walked for about 30 minutes, and began wondering how I was going to find my hotel. I truly couldn't see!

About that time I noticed that the footprints I had made earlier, traveling in the opposite direction, were still visible in the sand. I decided the the easiest way to get back to my hotel was to follow my own foot prints.

Normally, I would walk along the water's edge for as long as I could until I was parallel to my hotel, then I would walk directly to it. I love to be near the water for as long as possible.

Today, however, if I had tried that I would have overshot my hotel. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I would have missed it!

I followed my footprints. Every once in a while they would disappear, and I would have to scan the surrounding area to pick up the trail again.

Eventually, they led me to the bluff and to the staircase that climbs through a wooded ravine to the hotel. Success! I had found my way back!

As I was retracing my footsteps, I thought about the various times in my life when I have gotten 'lost' or 'off track' and had to find my way back to where I belonged. Sometimes we can take a new route, but the truth is, sometimes we just have to backtrack and go back the way we came!

Sometimes, if the process of getting off track has been difficult or painful for us - the last thing we want to do is to go 'back through' the same territory. Yet, that is what is sometimes required to get us back on track.

We need to take the steps we need to take to correct our course when we have gotten lost or off track. Do what needs to be done to address it - even if it isn't comfortable or pleasant. The sooner we get back on track the better off we'll be!

Pick up the trail and follow it home!

What's in a Name

2010-07-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today, I had such a wonderful experience. Someone who has worked for me for the past 10 years brought his infant daughter to meet me. He gave her the name, "Nola" because he liked my name. I was really touched when he told me that he was going to name his daughter Nola, but meeting her was really special.

She is such a beautiful and sweet little girl. She really 'took to me' and couldn't stop smiling at me. It was just a sweet and precious experience to meet her.

It is quite a compliment to have someone give their daughter your name. I'm not going to say he 'named her' after me, but obviously, if he thought I was a jerk, I doubt he'd have done it!

Sometimes we don't realize the impact we have on people. We don't realize that we can will always leave a favorable impression or a negative one on the people we meet and rub up against in life. We just never know the extent of the impact that we have.

In this particular case, I was truly blessed to be given a strong indicator that my 10 year working relationship with this young man has been a positive one in his mind. It's nice feedback for me!

I love the fact that there is a happy little baby named "Nola" out there. It is such an honor and a treat. I was named after my Grandmother who was a phenomenal woman. Now, there is another little Nola out there, who in some way has her name because of me... and my Grandmother. It's a wonderful continuity, and a testament to positive influence and what is possible if we treat each other with respect and kindness.

I wish for this new little Nola a life of happiness and contentment!

When You Look in the Mirror...

2010-07-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

When you look in the mirror, ask yourself this question.

"What do you like the best about yourself?"

This is a line from one of m favorite movies - Mr. Holland's Opus.

Mr. Holland asks this of a student who is riddled with a lack of self confidence. He helps this young woman blossom into an extremely successful and confident person.

I truly believe that we need to start with what we LIKE about ourselves if we are to grow and evolve into all that we were created to be.

I have learned, first hand - the hard way - that self loathing and self criticism are NOT the way to improve yourself or your life.

Sustainable and authentic change cannot happen if we are at war with ourselves.

We can only truly change and improve from a place of self acceptance.

What do you like best about yourself? Start there. Praise that part of yourself. Appreciate it. Build from there.

A Reward at the End of It

2010-07-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

I spent the last couple days doing a lot of heavy duty yard work. The weather has been really hot in Seattle. The tasks I undertook were a little more challenging due to the higher temperatures.

Still, it felt good to accomplish so much and see the transformation take place in my yard and around my house. It looks GREAT!

At the end of 3 long days of work, a friend offered to take me out for a little boat ride on Lake Washington. Now, boating is always fun. Especially on a beautiful summer day in Seattle.

Something about getting to do it at the end of a long haul of chores made it feel even better than usual!

The wind in my hair, the sun on the water and the feeling of freedom as we sped along felt simply marvelous.

I don't think it would have felt quite the same if it hadn't followed such an intensely busy and challenging few days.

Sometimes we appreciate things more when they come in sequence after something that is harder or more difficult in our lives.

I know that I appreciated this boat ride more than the last one I had. It somehow felt like a reward for all my hard work and effort.

Make sure you set high goals for yourself. Also make sure that you give yourself little rewards and treats along the way for a job well done. It enhances the quality of the entire journey!

Appreciating the Contrast

2010-07-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

Finally. At long last, summer has arrived in Seattle. Temperatures in the 70s, 80s and 90s for the next many days. FINALLY!

We've had one of the wettest, coldest spring/early summers that I can remember.

Now, we have bright sunshine and glorious warmth.

I'm having more moments of deep appreciation about this weather than I normally would. I always love a sunny day, but with our long dark, wet, cold winters, and the late arrival of some sunny weather this year, I now find myself walking outside, spreading my arms out, reaching up towards the sky and saying, "Thank You!" with all my heart.

Nothing like a long spell of dreary weather to make you appreciate the beauty of a warm, summer day.

Life is the same. Sometimes we take things for granted if we don't experience the 'opposite' for a while. Having a good income or lots of money, is much more appreciated after a time of unemployment or financial struggle. Relationship harmony is amazing if you've experienced a lot of strife. Spending time alone can be a glorious gift if you've been through an intense period of being with people constantly. Likewise, companionship can be like a breath of fresh air if you spend a lot of time alone for awhile.

Contrasts teach us about life and about ourselves. We can really see where we may be taking things for granted, when the tide suddenly turns in a dramatic way. It's all good learning!

Live each moment that presents itself to you. Appreciate it for what it is. Try to stay out of 'longing' for something to be different than it is. Be where you are now, and find what is to be savored about this specific experience. There is always something.

Allow the contrasts in your life to enrich and grow you!

Closing Doors

2010-07-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm in a real season of 'finishing up' things right now. A big flurry of activity has just come to an end, so I find that I am in the mood for completion!

I've had a card sitting on my desk since Christmas time that needed to be answered. It crosses my mind every couple weeks, and I feel frustrated that I haven't handled it yet. I answered it today!

I had a very unpleasant customer service with a company, and have been wanting to write a letter to let management know about how my situation was handled. Finally, I took care of that today!

About a dozen other tasks that have been 'hanging over my head' were completed today. I'm now able to put away these files, and release some things from my mind.

It feels wonderful to close doors that have been slightly ajar for the past many months. I didn't neglect these things out of procrastination. I didn't avoid them intentionally. I've just been very busy and focused elsewhere.

Today, however, it just felt like a day to finish things up. So I did. Suddenly, I feel lighter and more 'available.' It feels like I have freed up energy that has been tied up in these 'in process' tasks.

I highly recommend 'completion days.' Just take a day, or a few hours here and there, and finish up all the things that are lurking around the corners of your life. Then, allow yourself to disconnect from those tasks and move on.

Closing doors allow us to move forward through newly opened doors with full energy and enthusiasm!

A Simple Thrill

2010-07-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life, we can miss the ever present simple pleasures that surround us.

Every year at this time, a particular tree in my yard yields some small red berries. They only last about a week, because birds love them!

In particular, a bird called the cedar waxwing really digs these berries! I rarely see Cedar Waxwings, except during the week to ten days that this tree has it's fruit. The Waxwings come, usually in pairs and feast on the berries. This happens right outside one of my windows.

I completely enjoy seeing these adorable birds each year. I look forward to the fruit ripening on this tree, just so I can see these stunning feathered friends.

It's a great reminder to me that things change and are impermanent. Things come into our lives and they pass from our lives. Enjoying the present moment, and what is before us is is something that enhances and enriches our lives.

If we rush past the simple pleasures and the moments before us, we miss our lives!

Do you have any Waxwings that you could pay attention to today? I invite you to look for the Waxwings and really notice them!

The Cedar Waxwing

The Turning Tide

2010-07-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

The tide always turns. Sometimes when we are in a 'low tide' season of our life, we may feel that it will never change. The truth is, that the tide will always change.

When we move into a 'high tide' season, after a long, dry, low tide it is an amazing experience to behold.

Personally, when I've received the 'bounty' after the 'famine' it is one of the most inspiring and energizing times in my life.

It always comes. Even when we don't believe that it will.

If we do what is ours to do, and keep plugging away, we do experience the turning of the tide.

Persistence. Dedication. Hope. Perseverance. It all pays off, eventually. Patience is the key.

"Never, never, never give up." Winston Churchill

Drops in the Bucket

2010-07-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when we are working towards a goal or trying to change something in our lives, we can get discouraged by the slow pace at which things seem to change.

When I'm feeling frustrated at my seeming lack of progress in any endeavor, I remember that if I put an empty bucket out in the rain... it will eventually fill with water.

Each drop individually, doesn't make that large of a contribution. Collectively, over time, those apparently insignificant drops do the impossible and fill the bucket to overflowing!

If we get frustrated and cover the bucket, feeling that there is 'no use' in letting the drops fall in the bucket, of course, it can never fill.

We need to patiently let the drops fall in the bucket. It will eventually produce the desired result.

Whatever you aim to do, or set out to achieve, be patient with yourself and apply consistent, ongoing effort.

You WILL get there!

Enjoy it Anyway

2010-07-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

This past couple weeks has been kind of crazy and busy. Deadlines, unexpected commitments to meet, flat tire... you name it.

As a result, I've gotten behind in my schedule for doing my yard work. I have a large yard and it takes a lot of time and effort to keep it up.

Looking at everything I needed to accomplish I realized that I had to let go of my expectations with regards to the yard, and ease up on my schedule.

At the same time, some of my work related activities allow me to be out in the garden as I accomplish them.

In the past, this would have been difficult for me. Walking through the yard, it has been difficult for me to see anything except for all the work that needs to be done.

One of the things I've been working on myself in the last few years is learning to enjoy whatever is happening in my life, no matter what is going on.

This week, I have been taking little walks around my yard to break up my work sessions. I've been doing some of my work, sitting out in the midst of all the pruning and weeding that needs to be done.

You know what? It is totally possible to enjoy the beauty of my garden, even with all the weeds, and gangly plants about!

Things don't have to be perfect to be enjoyed.

You don't have to wait until everything is just the way you want it to be before you enjoy it.

Enjoy what is. Exactly as it is right now. Tomorrow is another day, and things might be different. For this moment, revel in the current state of affairs. There is something special in this moment, just as it is unfolding!

Stretching Out of the Comfort Zone

2010-06-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm really proud of myself! I did a couple of things over this past weekend that were big stretches for me. To some people, they may sound like 'no big deal,' but to me, with my specific constellation of personality traits and past 'issues' they were big accomplishments.

I wore a belt with an outfit that I wore. I haven't worn a belt ever in my adult life! I simply haven't been able to get myself to wear belts. They were not in my repertoire! A saleswoman convinced me that this belt 'made' the outfit I was putting together and I was pretty sure she was right. When I wore the outfit to a special event, I actually put the outfit on, with and without the belt and had my family members vote on what looked best. It was unanimous! I wore the belt!

I also had a new dress that I wore for the same time. It too was 'out of my comfort zone.' It was a style that I generally wouldn't buy for myself, but it was adorable! I thought it looked pretty good on me, and I had the perfect jewelry to wear with it. This dress 'challenged' some of my long held conceptions about what I 'can and cannot wear.'

I got lots of compliments on the new dress. I got lots of compliments on the other outfit too - including specific positive comments about the belt!

There would have been a time, not so long ago, when I would have been unable to purchase or wear either of these 'new' wardrobe additions. I simply would not have been 'willing' to take the chance.

I'm grateful that I've progressed to the point where I can edge myself out of my comfort zone into new territory! This has only happened because I've repeatedly done so over the course of many years.

We do so many things to ourselves to keep ourselves stuck in old ways of thinking and doing things. We alone have the key to free ourselves. We just need to put the key in the lock... and turn it. No one can do this for us!

Got any comfort zones that you need to be bustin' out of? Take a chance. Step out there. It won't feel 'comfortable' - hence the idea of leaving the 'comfort zone.' Eventually, however, if you hand in there and keep doing it, you will find that your comfort zone expands!

You can barely see the belt peeking out from behind my notebook. This is also not a color that I would normally wear.

Me in my 'out of my comfort zone' dress - with my brothers and cousins

The Restoration

2010-06-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

I had a fantastic weekend! I performed a wedding and spent a lot of time with my extended family. It was tremendously fun, and it also left me feeling really exhausted!

Last night, when I finally got to go to sleep, I was really looking forward to it. I needed a good, long, night's rest.

That is exactly what I had!

When I woke up this morning, I had not even moved! I was so tired, I went 'out like a light' and slept deeply and soundly for the entire night.

I woke up feeling refreshed and renewed. I was ready to tackle the day with enthusiasm.

It is so important to allow ourselves the time to renew and rejuvenate when we have expended ourselves and our energy.

It is impossible to just keep going and going and going without letting ourselves reset and replenish ourselves.

I'm learning this more and more as I grow older. I am much more willing to take the time to rest and relax. I have learned the importance of balancing exertion and expending energy with rest and restoration.

Give yourself the time to relax and rejuvenate. It will enhance everything you do!

That Satisfied Feeling

2010-06-28T00:01:00.001-07:00

I'm coming to the end of a long but wonderful weekend. I spent the weekend with my family celebrating the wedding of one of my cousins. I was actually quite honored to officiate the ceremony!

We had a family get together one night, the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner the next night and the wedding on the following day. It was a marvelous opportunity to connect with my family and spend time together as a group.

The weather was beautiful! The wedding was outdoors in a lovely setting. We couldn't have asked for a better experience!

I enjoyed playing an important role in the process. It felt good to contribute!

Even driving to and from all of the events was fun. The weather, the beautiful countryside - everything worked together to make it enjoyable.

I did have one little unexpected problem. I got a flat tire the night before the wedding and had to deal with that. It was handled with relative ease, and it felt good to have been able to handle the crisis in the midst of so much fun without being totally incapacitated.

After a long drive, it feels good to be home again, reflecting on the joys and laughter we all shared these past few days.

I am also anticipating a richly deserved sleep. The excitement and events of the past few days has me a 'few pints low' on sleep! I didn't mind a bit, but I actually can't wait to 'hit the hay.' Nothing feels better than drifting off into a much needed, restful sleep!

It is such a gift to have moments like this! It's important to be able to look back over something that has just come to a conclusion, with satisfaction and pleasure, even when there were bumps along the way. It is also wonderful to be able to allow something to really conclude, carrying forward warm memories, but moving in to the next experience.

Being fully present to each experience, and moving easily and effortlessly from one to the next is a ticket to a rich and wonderful life!

My sequence of experiences is beckoning me into a much needed sleep at the moment!

What's next for you? Feel satisfied with what has come before - whatever it is. Let yourself learn your lessons, remember with joy, and move into the next 'new' moment.

For me... right now... it's "Sweet Dreams!"

700th blog

2010-06-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today is a really big day for me. Today marks my 700th blog post! It is hard for me to believe that I have written 700 articles for this blog!

The achievement of writing this many articles is something that, when I started, would have seemed impossible to me.

The blog was undertaken as a writing discipline. I have loved to write for as long as I can remember. I wrote books as a child, and dreamed of becoming an author.

I still have, as one of my life goals, to write and publish one or more books. The blog was a device that would require me to write consistently, and practice the process of getting my thoughts on 'paper.'

I had no idea it would last this long, or affect me as it has. I've changed and grown in many ways as I've written this blog.

Perfectionism is something that I have struggled with a lot in my life. My attention to detail and my conscientiousness has taken me far in this life, but can also become a prison when it is taken too far. I most definitely had taken it too far in my early life, and have spent many years working to 'balance that out.'

Writing these articles quickly, and without tons of editing has been challenging for me. I usually want to polish everything I do before it is let out for 'public consumption.' One of my goals for myself with the blog was to just write, write, write and write some more, without worrying about it being grammatically perfect or professionally edited. It was more important that I just WRITE and get it out there. I've done that.

I love it when I accomplish things I never thought I could do, or go above and beyond my own expectations.

I simply took one day at a time and one moment at a time and kept taking the step that was in front of me to take.

My plan is to keep on writing, because I love to write. I hope that people find some inspiration or value in what I put out here, but even if no one does... I'm growing and expanding as a result of the 'practice' and the 'discipline' of turning it out!

Thanks for reading! I will continue to...

Blog On!

Coming out of the Fog

2010-06-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't had too many opportunities to hike this summer. Our weather has been really, well, cranky, this year! I'm a bit of a 'fair weather' hiker. I like to hike when it's sunny and clear outside. I'm not one for heading out into the rain to slip and slide along muddy trails.

Because our weather has been so wet and un-summerlike this year, I haven't always been able to get up and set out in bright sunshine for most of my hikes.

The last time I went hiking a couple weeks ago, it was completely foggy and cloudy when I got up. It didn't really inspire me to go hiking. I knew that the weather forecast called for sunny skies on this particular day, but it sure was far from that when I looked out the window. It would have been so easy to just crawl back in bed and sleep in.

Instead, I packed up my gear and headed for the mountain. It stayed cloudy and foggy for my entire drive.

I started up the mountain in the fog. Then something interesting began to happen.

As I climbed along, it became clearer and clearer. Soon, I could see bright blue sky and sunshine filtering through the trees.

I had hiked my way above the fog into the glorious sunshine. It was indeed a magnificent day!

I could have turned around and gone back to bed when I saw the uninspiring fog. It really seemed like a better idea at that moment. I knew, however, that I really wanted to hike and get out into the world. I needed to be inspired by the natural beauty that is all around me here in Seattle.

Once I did my part and started to move myself up the mountain, the fog disappeared and I could see clearly in the crystal clear skies that live above the fog.

What a great metaphor for life. We can be 'turned around' by the appearances of uninspiring surroundings, or we can choose to do what is ours to do, and move forward anyway. Often, when we do, the circumstances that we find objectionable change before our eyes! We either move our self above and beyond those circumstances, or they cease to have any control or impact over us.

Got a little fog in your life right now. Start climbing the mountain that is before you! You can hike your way out of that fog!!

Too Much Too Soon

2010-06-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when we set about to change something in our lives we attack our goal with such veracity that we quickly burn out and abandon our efforts.

It's a tale as old as time. When we first set our sights on a goal, we are filled with energy and enthusiasm and dive in with all of our might.

When the going gets a little tough, however, some of that energy and enthusiasm can fade, and we find that our resolve can waiver a bit.

I think of the many times that I started exercise programs in my life, only to over do it, hurt myself in some way, and then backing off or quitting altogether.

When we try to do too much too soon, it generally doesn't go well.

We've had a really cloudy and wet spring and early summer here in Seattle. We always have a lot of rain here, but this has been abnormal!

A couple weeks ago, we had a hot sunny day. By hot, I mean that it got into the low 70s! That should tell you how it's been around here!! I was excited to get a little sun. I put on a backless top and went out to pull weeds in my garden.

I was only out there for an hour. The sun felt glorious on my back.

When I showered, I noticed that my back looked a little tan.

"Cool," I thought to myself, "my first tan line of the season!"

Little did I realize in that moment, but I had totally fried my back. I had a really bad sunburn, which became painfully clear as the day and evening wore on.

Until that day, I had zero sun exposure on my back this year! I didn't realize just how "un-tan" I was and that an hour in the bright sun was way too much for my body to handle well.

I had good intentions to get some Vitamin D exposure, but I took it too fast. I did too much too soon, and I paid for it! The pain, the itching phase, and of course, not being able to expose my back to the sun again anytime soon were all consequences of my over zealousness!

When we set goals and take on new tasks, we need to start slow and build from there. It's better to do something slowly and consistently than it is to go all out for a time or two and then quit. We never make lasting progress that way.

Slow and steady wins the race. If you're taking on any new projects or goals, make sure you set a realistic, sustainable pace, and stick to it!

Simple Acknowledgements

2010-06-22T00:01:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago, my nephew graduated from High School. It was an exciting time to witness the achievement of such a significant milestone in the life of a young person.

I've tried to help my nephew along the way. My goal is to be a source of encouragement and support to all the young people in my life. With my nephew it took the form of giving him some summer work to do to earn money, helping him get organized for college applications, financial aid forms and to take the SAT. I am sure that I annoyed him many times... keeping him on task, following up on deadlines, etc.

So, it was especially touching to me, that at his graduation, he took the opportunity to say thank you in a very sweet way.

Each of the kids was given 3 roses when they picked up their diploma. At a later point in the ceremony, they were free to go out into the audience and give the roses to people they wanted to thank for their support and encouragement.

I was truly delighted that I was one of the recipients of my nephew's roses.

It was a simple thing, but it meant a lot to me. To be acknowledged is a lovely thing.

I kept that rose near me for the entire length of it's life! It actually lasted about 10 days! I'd move it from place to place so that I could look at it no matter what I was doing.

Letting people know that we care about them, that they matter to us, and that we appreciate their contributions to our lives is a wonderful and powerful practice. It doesn't have to be anything fancy!

Sharing our appreciation with each other, and acknowledging the roles that people play in our lives is one of the things that truly makes life worth living.

Why not take a moment today, and send off an email, or a card, or even a small gift to someone who has made a difference in your life? It feels good to do it... and it sure feels good to be on the receiving end of such a blessing!

The rose my nephew presented to me
at his graduation

Happy Father's Day 2010

2010-06-21T00:01:00.001-07:00

Here we are again at another Father's day! I'm sitting in a restaurant, witnessing a lot of families brining their 'dad' out to celebrate.

It is wonderful to pause once a year to reflect on the role that fathers play in the lives of their children and in this world.

The father role is an important one in our lives. Having a good father is a blessing. Having an absent or unskilled father leaves wounds and scars that we can spend a life time working out.

Even if we had a hard time with our own fathers, we can appreciate the 'fathering' that we've received along the way. We can receive loving father energy from anyone really.

I was blessed in my life to have a great dad. He taught me many wonderful things about how to live life and become the person that I am today. I always feel a little nostalgic around father's day, because we used to take a trip to Reno every year around this time to have a little father/daughter time and to gamble a little bit. :)

Dad passed away in 1997, and I still miss him.

On father's day, I like to not only give thanks for my own father, and all he gave me, but also to the other men in my life who have shown me love, support, tenderness and compassion. Those men have all contributed to my life in special and meaningful ways as well.

My Dad

Me with my Grandpa Drazdoff

Uncle David

Dr. Charles Bruni

Jack Boland

Happy Father's Day to all you men out there! Give yourselves credit for the fathering that you have done - with your own children and with others as well!

If You Let 'Em

2010-06-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

My niece's 15th birthday was a couple weeks ago. I was in my mom's town preparing a little party for my niece. I had just picked up her birthday cake and was on my way to get a cup of coffee to take home for my mother. As I parked my car, I noticed a lady coming out of the neighboring "Dollar Store" with a bunch of helium balloons. I thought that seemed like a great idea! I had never given my niece balloons on her birthday before, so I decided to go in and get some.

I went into the store and purchased 3 balloons. As I was leaving the store, a woman appeared to me to be just arriving. She was behind me, pushing a cart. I assumed she was starting her shopping trip in the store. As I walked out the door, making sure that my balloons passed safely under the top of the door frame, I glanced back at the woman. She was pushing her cart past the door. I let go of the door, and it began to swing shut.

Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound as the door smacked the front of her cart! She was coming out behind me after all. I had dropped the door on her.

I quickly grabbed the door and apologized to her. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think you were coming out!"

This woman was obviously troubled. She was a bit disheveled looking, and her lipstick was smeared around her mouth. She sort of snapped at me as I grabbed the door and opened it for her. "If you let 'em... they'll just keep doin' it!"

I apologized again and held the door open for her.

Then she muttered, "Just leave me alone!"

I held the door until she was safely out of the store and I walked to my car. She was walking a little ahead of me, and kept turning to look over her shoulder at me. She obviously wanted to get away from me, but we happened to be going in the same direction!

She was muttering to herself, and every once in awhile I could hear what she said.

"I just want to be left alone."
"They always do that to you."
"Go away. Just go."

I felt very sorry for this woman. She was obviously a very sad and disturbed person.

She was perceiving persecution where there simply wasn't any. I wasn't trying to hurt her, but she believed I was. The first statement she had uttered really stuck with me, "If you let 'em, they'll just keep doing it."

Now, in this woman's case, it appears to me that she has a belief that people are out to get her and will continue to do so, if she doesn't stop them. The problem is that she seems to 'set herself up' to experience people 'getting her.' I swear to you, she was pushing her cart past the door I was leaving through. When I turned my back and let go of the door, she deliberately turned her cart and pushed it into the closing door. She slammed the door on herself, and then blamed me!

Someone in my life recently made some decisions about the path they are going to follow, declared that they believed most people in their life would reject them as a result, and has proceeded to reject a bunch of people in her life... and then say that they are rejecting her. It's what she believes to be true, so she's MAKING it happen so she can be right, but blaming other people all the while.

This is a common phenomenon for all of us, actually. The way the universe works, we 'get to be right' about our beliefs.

If we believe that people are out to get us, we will experience that as our reality.

If we believe that our luck is always bad, it will appear to us that it is so.

The lens through which we look at life is powerful. It literally changes what we see to match our expectations and beliefs about ourselves and the world.

Be very observant of your beliefs about yourself and the world. It is affecting your experience every single second!

The Resting Messenger

2010-06-17T00:01:00.001-07:00

The weather has finally started to improve in Seattle. Finally, we are getting some much anticipated and much appreciated sunshine!

With the arrival of the sun, I have relocated my work space to the great outdoors. Whenever I can, I work on my patio or my deck to enjoy the beauty of my woodland garden.

As you may know, the dragonfly is a very special symbol to me. I consider it to be a powerful symbol of transformation. The process of change that creates a dragonfly from a waterbug is miraculous to me! I feel that process is a metaphor for our own possible transformation... from something that slinks around in the muddy water to something that becomes beautiful and free - able to soar through life with grace and ease.

When I was sitting at the table on my patio working the other day, a dragonfly flew up to me, landed on the table right in front of my writing tablet and did something I'd never seen a dragonfly do before. He or she tucked it's wings up along it's back, bowed it's head and appeared to take a little nap! The dragonfly was resting!!

I was mesmerized by this little creature and the message that he might be delivering to me. I have long believed that dragonflies can be messengers from people who have made their transition and are no longer with us on the earth. Whenever dragonflies appear to me, I believe they bring some sort of message.

This message seemed to be about the important of resting. This little fly looked so relaxed and content. The whole world was his or hers. They could fly anywhere and see anything, and yet, at this moment the creature was taking a break and resting right there in front of me.

I took it as a reminder that in a balanced life, there is both work... and rest. A little while later, I chose to put away my work for awhile and take a walk in the sunshine. I gave my brain a much needed break from the work I was engaged in.

Thank you my little messenger friend!

Suck it In for the Right Reasons

2010-06-16T00:01:00.002-07:00

When I was growing up, one of the things I remember that all us girls focused on was trying to hold in our stomachs. We were told, and believed that we would look skinnier if we kept our stomachs sucked in at all times. It made us look better, in our minds, so we did it. It was a pretty common practice - with the reasoning being that it would improve our attractiveness.

When I got into recovery from my eating disorder and started to do a lot of body image repair work, I encountered a different line of thinking. In the quest to accept and appreciate the body, we were encouraged not to 'war' with our bodies and do things that were intended to excessively control them. Letting the stomach relax and deliberately NOT sucking it in was one of the exercises I remember reading about and embracing. My belly was beautiful and sacred, and if I loved myself totally, I wouldn't try to hide it by sucking it in. That was my new line of thinking.

Interestingly enough, after many many years of not sucking in my stomach, I ended up with some interesting lower back problems. Some of these problems are directly related to weak and atrophied abdominal muscles! Now, it didn't all come from that one practice I did to 'let it all hang out,' but that practice was most definitely involved.

Several years ago I started physical therapy, and have been learning about 'activating my core' which in some ways is very closely linked to 'sucking in my belly!' As I've learned to turn on those muscles, and pull in and lift my abdominal area, my lower back issues have improved. It's really quite amazing how much of a difference it makes.

In fact, I went hiking a week ago, and was disappointed that towards the end of the descent from the mountain I hiked up, my right knee began to hurt on the outer edge of the knee cap. I've had this problem before, but last summer, I hadn't experienced it at all! The fact that on my first hike of this season, I experienced the problem was a bit discouraging and frustrating.

When I told my physical therapist about it, she understood the problem immediately. She said that the muscles that connects to the inner part of the knee cap wasn't do it's job properly, and so the knee cap was pulling to the outside slightly, causing the inflammation and irritation that I experienced.

She had me lie on my back and tighten my right quadricep muscle. She poked a bit at the area on the inside of my left knee cap. It seemed normal to me. Then she asked me to 'activate my core' and contract my quadricep muscle again. She poked the same place and it was rock solid! When I didn't 'activate my core' that muscle wasn't able to contract and hold my knee in place. When I did activate my core, the muscle was 'on' and I could feel that it made a huge difference to the support that my knee had.

What's my point? The point is, that we can do things from different places inside ourselves. Back when I used to hold in my stomach because I was ashamed of it and wanted to look thinner, I was coming from a place of self rejection and control. It was better for my back, but I didn't know that then, and I probably wouldn't have cared if I had known! It was all about appearances and attractiveness back then.

Now, I'm learning to perform that action for a valid reason that is rooted in self love, acceptance and respect for my body. I want to take care of my body because I love it and want it to function at it's best.

What a different place to come from!

An outer action can look exactly the same. Activating your core is still basically sucking in your gut. One comes from a place of self criticism and judgement and one comes from a place of self respect and love for one's body. It makes all the difference in the world which place we're coming from!

Exercise can be an act of self love, or an act of imposing a tyranny of obsessive, anxiety ridden beliefs about ourselves and what we have to do to be acceptable to ourselves.

Keeping a clean house can be an expression of a calm, clear inner world, or it can be an expression of an obsessive, compulsive imprisoned personality. To an outsider the house might look the same in both cases, but the level of peace and contentment within the 'cleaner' would be radically different.

My goal in life is no longer to just do the right things. My goal has become to do the right things from the right place. The quality of the experience is so much greater when we do.

There's Always Something to Enjoy

2010-06-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm undergoing a radical transformation in the way I relate to my days and my life! The revelation that I've had is so simple that it may seem unbelievable that it is making such a difference. I will tell you, however, that although the concept is simple... it isn't necessarily easy to implement.

When I was growing up, there was an older lady, Lucy, who lived next door to my family. She was like a second grandmother to me. I spent many happy hours in her company as I was growing up. She had a tremendous influence on the person I have become.

A few years back, I was honored to be invited to her 100th birthday party. She had long since moved to California. My mom and I headed out to go pay tribute to this remarkable woman as she celebrated her 100th year of life on planet earth. Remarkable!

We spent a few hours with her the day before her party just visiting and catching up. I asked her a lot of questions in that conversation. Her attitude is better than anyone I know, and yet her life had not been a bed of roses! I wanted to understand the key to a great life like the one she had lived, and continues to live to this day!

She imparted much wisdom that day, but one of the gems that she told me is at the root of the transformation that I am currently experiencing.

She was telling me about all the different jobs she'd had in her life. There were many, and some of them didn't sound all that glamorous or interesting. Lucy, however, said something I will never forget. As she described her jobs, she never complained about the 'bad parts' of those jobs, but instead she told me what she liked about each job. She was careful to call out something that she learned or enjoyed in every single job she told me about. "There is always something to enjoy about everything you do," she said.

Wow. Just think about that for a moment.

It's as true about all our life experiences as it is about any job that we might have.

I have decided that no matter WHAT is happening in my life, I am going to find SOMETHING to enjoy about it... and focus on that aspect of it, rather than what I don't like or enjoy about it. Even things that are fairly unpleasant have something positive that I can focus on. It really is possible to find something to enjoy in every single experience, even difficult or painful ones.

Easy to say, a bit more difficult to do, but I'm astounded at how much more I'm enjoying my life as I implement this practice. Give it a try!!

Celebrating Accomplishments

2010-06-14T00:01:00.003-07:00

It was an exciting time for my family this week. My first nephew graduated from high school!

I'm known in the family for making a 'big deal' out of things. I tend to get pretty enthusiastic about things. I make no apologies for that! It's the only way I want to live my life.

I got him some balloons, and put a sign in his yard, and got him some gourmet cupcakes and put little graduation caps on them all. I gave him a card, and some money for school clothes for his first year of college that will start in the fall. It was a fun experience for him, I think, and definitely for me.

Completion is wonderful. Working towards a major goal, and seeing it come to fruition is worth celebrating. The closing of one door and the opening of a new world is a momentus occasion.

We should revel in those moments of life and recognize them for the magnificent transitions that they are.

As I forced my nephew to pose for picture after picture with various family members I hope that I sent the message that this was a big, big deal! He had really achieved something and he deserved to be the star for this moment in his life experience!

Celebrate your achievements and successes! Whether it is a major event like a graduation, or it's eating well for just one day, we should recognize and honor the steps forward that we take in life!

Me with my nephew at his graduation

Each Moment a Thrill

2010-06-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a wonderful talk by Jack Boland yesterday called, "Formula for Success." Jack was talking about how we humans will fly or drive to far distant places like Disneyland and pay lots of money to ride rides and experience thrills... and joy! While there is nothing wrong with doing this, Jack was suggesting that the fact that we look for this sort of sensation is an indicator that we are meant to live interesting and exciting lives! He also suggested that we can do this every moment and every day... right where we are! I couldn't agree more!

Every single moment that we are alive offers some sort of powerful and intense experience, if we will but look for it, recognize it and allow it.

Even so called 'negative experiences' can be powerful teaching moments in our lives. We can learn to surrender. We can recognize that what we once thought important is really not important at all. We can come to see the value of the people closest to us.

Quiet moments can be exhilarating inner experiences of rejuvenation and renewal.

Moments of physical exertion can connect us to our bodies and the marvelous creations that they are!

Moments of mental exertion can stimulate and ignite our creativity and we can celebrate our ability to use our brains for a purpose that we can choose!

Everything... absolutely everything, can be exciting and interesting if we choose to look at it that way.

Treat each moment as the pure experience that it is. Give it your full attention. Let it have its moment in the sun... without distracting yourself with the past or future.

Start to look at every experience as magnificent... no matter what it is. See how this changes your feelings about your life!!

Signs of Progress

2010-06-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

I wrote in my June 2010 newsletter about a project I have taken on for the month of June to eat 5 - 13 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. I know I don't get enough fresh fruit and vegetables, and so I'm taking this project on to cultivate some new (and hopefully lasting) habits.

It's amazing. I'm only a little over a week into this process, and I already feel better. It's hard to explain, but I feel more energetic and happier. My mood is better and my body feels like it is better fueled!

I'll keep you posted, but to me, it is an indicator that we are built to function best when we eat a healthy diet! So much of what ails us could probably be resolved if we simply learned what the human body needs to be healthy, and did that on a regular basis.

Easier said than done, I realize, but well worth the effort to make improvements where we can.

Are you eating enough fruits and vegetables? Start where you are. One reader of my newsletter wrote me to say that she was setting a goal to eat one piece of fruit every day for the month of June, because she never ate any. She wrote it with a bit of an apologetic tone in her message. I wrote back an enthusiastic, "YES! Way to go!" message. It isn't about perfection, it's about progress. You start where you are, and make one change... and then another... and then another... and then another.

I believe in working on personal and spiritual growth from a place of radical self acceptance and compassion. We take responsibility for ourselves AND we know that we are doing the best we can at this very moment in time. Then, we make a change because we love ourselves enough to want something better.

One step at a time! That's how we change!

Waiting it Out

2010-06-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

I wrote awhile back, in "Make Way for Beauty," about the inconvenient Foxglove plant that sprung up right next to my driveway. As I mentioned in that article, the location is right where people need to get out of their cars when they park on the cement pad in front of my driveway. Yet, I know how pretty these plants are, so I let it grow.

It takes 2 years/seasons of growing before these plants bloom. Until then, they are just a ubiquitous green plant. But when they finally bloom, in their second year, they are very, very pretty.

An impatient person, or one who does not understand the way this plant grows, might yank it out the first year. It's really not that interesting, and it's pretty large!

If, however, you understand the way it works, you wait... and you are ultimately rewarded for your patience.

Understanding the way that the universe works really helps us cultivate and nurture the aspects in our belief systems that yield the amazing and wondrous results that we seek. One of the great principles that we must learn to work with is how to plant seeds, nurture and take care of the plants, and wait patiently for the blossoming or the creation of the desired 'fruit.' If we give up too soon, we never get the rewards!

When we are working with our consciousness, planting seeds in thought, attitude and belief, it takes persistence and patience to see it through to fruition. Sometimes it doesn't look like much is happening on the outside, but a process is unfolding within. First within, then without is the universal order of things. If we try to take short cuts, or if we give up or back track, we miss the show!

And what a show it is!

Persevere... stay the course. Do all that you know you need to do, hold firm... and wait for the blossoming!

The foxglove is the tall plant right next to the driveway...
This is the spot it chose to seed itself and grow.
Not the most 'logical' or 'convenient' place.

And for 2 years, it has grown there.
Nothing but some fuzzy green leaves, until...

The patience paid off... and
the show began.

Unexpected and unplanned for beauty.
A reward for 'making room' and 'being patient.'

Protect Your New Growth

2010-06-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

As I was taking my walk along the ridge near my home this past week, I was stopped in my tracks by something I find irresistible... and compelling.

It was a small fir tree that is just at the edge of the gravel path I walk on.

At this time of year, the fir trees, and many other ever green trees and sporting their gorgeous new growth! The new growth is a different, brighter color than the old growth, and in some cases the needles are super soft - unlike the prickly hard needles of the older growth.

I just have to stop and touch these tender green shoots of new growth. Something about doing that just sends my spirit soaring!

For one thing, it is a gentle sweet reminder of the constant renewal of life and the growth process. All of life is constantly growing and developing.

Secondly, it is a great, tangible example of how tender and fragile 'new growth' is. These shoots are so soft and pliable. They have not yet matured into more 'solid' material yet.

Isn't that how we are when we are learning something new, or cultivating a new habit? Aren't those new areas of ourselves a bit fragile and flexible?

When you are just learning how to do something, you aren't very sure of yourself. You might be easily swayed by the opinions or advice of other people. Once you are an expert at something, and have mastered it, you can more easily weigh the input of other people to see if it is valid or not.

I remember when I was first in recovery from my eating disorder. I was desperate for help, and pretty much believed anything my counselor told me. I had to. I needed to. It was important for my survival. When people around me challenged those beliefs and ideas, it was painful. I became defensive. I couldn't tolerate anyone challenging the ideas that I felt were hopefully going to change my world for the better. I had to protect my tender new growth and let it grow stronger before I held it up to the scrutiny of others.

Now, when people challenge my belief system or ideas, I can reflect on what they are saying, make a determination if there is any value/redirection for me there, and either accept and incorporate their feedback, or let it go as their experience and truth without it influencing my perspective.

Protect your tender shoots of new belief or growth. Give them time to strengthen and come into their fullness before you show them to the world.

Just as you would not sign up to perform a piano concert in front of hundreds of people without taking lessons or practicing, don't roll out new aspects of yourself to those around you until you will not be knocked off balance by the opinions and advice of other people.

Protect your new growth!!

Inspiration By Example

2010-06-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

My mom is 75 years old, and she has been working out at a gym for a little over 5 years. That impresses the heck out of me!

Her workouts help her keep her arthritis pain at bay, and keep her bones as strong and healthy as they can be. It's a very good practice that she has adopted into her life.

The people who own the gym really love that she works out there every day. Not only do they support her fitness and health as part of their 'mission' in the services they provide to people, but they love the inspiration that she is to others at the gym.

They sell more training services when my mom is there working out regularly. People see her and they are motivated to do more themselves. "If she can do it... I can do it!"

People look forward to seeing her there. She's a constant. Constants are comforting in this world of eternal change.

Mom's commitment to her own fitness helps other people to be committed to theirs!

For each of us personally, we have the opportunity to experience both sides of this coin. We need to realize that other people are affected by our behaviors and choices. We can aspire to serve as a positive, uplifting example to those around us. We can take seriously the understanding that if we do things that aren't high quality choices, we might be unwittingly validating others in doing so. We impact each other - for better or worse.

On the other side of this is our ability to seek out role models to inspire us into higher and better expressions of our own potential. I like working out around people who are really into it, because it helps me to push myself a little harder than I might if I was watching people sit around and watch TV!

Likewise, in the arena of spiritual and personal growth, we need to seek out those who teach about and demonstrate principles that we would like to live more fully from. I love to read about people who's lives have changed the world through their persistence and dedication to doing all they could to make a difference. I want to be like that! I love to hear people tell stories of overcoming hardships and obstacles in their quest to live a fully awakened and dynamic life! I want that too! I love to be around kind, compassionate, patient people, because those too are qualities that I would like to cultivate and strengthen in myself. I love to be around people who are smart, successful AND balanced, because that is an area I still work on in my own life experience.

Be an example where you can... and seek out the presence or influence of others who demonstrate what you want in specific areas of your life. What you get around rubs off on you... so be selective about what you immerse yourself in!

It's REALLY Green

2010-06-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

There is a new commercial that's been playing that I find really charming. It's the Lowe's Hardware commercial that depicts a very young couple who are 'setting up housekeeping' in their first new home.

These young people are overwhelmed and floundering around with various home repairs and crises. In each scenario presented, it shows the young lady, on her phone, most likely asking her father for advice, while the young man struggles to deal with what ever it going on.

The one vignette that I love the most, is when they are standing in a room they have just painted, and he has a wet paint roller in his hand and the entire room - walls and ceiling are bright, Kermit the frog green! The young lady is crying on the phone as she sort of sobs out the words, 'It's REALLY.... GREEN!'

It cracks me up, and yet... we've all been there! That dreadful moment when you realize that it didn't turn out like you planned and hoped for.

That green looked great on a little tiny swatch from the hardware store, but they didn't realize that when it was greatly magnified it would look much, much different.

Often in life, we make decisions based on a particular view of a situation, possibly too limited a view. People fall in love and get married after only a brief 'sampling' of who their partner really is. As soon as they are married and together for a while, suddenly, that 'color' that looked so lovely is really intense and not at all what was expected or desired.

Of course, all is not lost. the young couple can repaint their 'green room.' Many decisions can be reversed, or the trajectory can be corrected and altered.

I like to think, however, in terms of the principle that is demonstrated that when we only look at a small sample, or a small, isolated piece of something, we don't necessarily see all that we need to see.

I believe that life gives us glimpses sometimes, of problematic patterns that are at work within us, by showing it to us in other people, or the world around us in magnified form.

If someone in your life is really annoying and upsetting you, take a look at the patterns that most bother you, and see if you might have a little of that in you... even if it's in 'swatch' size portions. If the problematic pattern is being expressed around us at the same level that we do it, we wouldn't even notice it. it would seem 'normal' and 'acceptable' to us. That is why life sometimes uses the mirrors around us (other people and the world stage) to show us the magnified versions of that junk. We can't ignore it... and it usually really upsets and irritates us.

This isn't easy work. Admitting that we do something (either to others, or to ourselves) that we don't like in other people... isn't easy! It is, however, the only way to freedom. We can't repaint the room, until we realize that it's the wrong color. Life actually does a favor by showing us the intense and magnified color in those around us, in an attempt to get us to 'switch swatches' before we do our own painting (by allowing the pattern to grown and develop in us, until it becomes much more pervasive in our experience.)

If you find yourself exclaiming either in anger, sorrow, irritation or any other 'negative' evaluation, "It's REALLY GREEN" then take a look at your own swatch, and examine it carefully. You might need to switch swatches to make sure that the paint jobs you complete turn out the way you want them to be.

The Source of the Current Pain

2010-06-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend today who was very upset about a tree that lives outside her condominium. The grounds maintenance people came and seriously cut back the tree in a fairly disfiguring manner. It was very upsetting to my friend, because she had planted this tree many years ago.

She admitted that it shouldn't have been planted where it is, because it is a type of tree that will grow far too large for the space it has.

We ended up having an interesting discussion about it.

Ultimately, although she didn't know when she planted, she had 'set up' the current day situation. The tree can't rub up against the building because it will cause damage, yet the tree is getting quite large, and is simply growing in it's natural pattern. She planted the tree, without understanding exactly what type of tree she had, or what it would need to thrive and live a long life.

This is such a powerful metaphor for life! So often, we begin something without fully understanding what we are getting in to and then are surprised by the results down the road. Sometimes it happens through ignorance, sometimes through lack of due diligence. Other times, it is simply not possible to know all the requirements going in to something.

I'm most interested in the first two conditions: ignorance or lack of due diligence, because these are the two issues we can do something about.

If my friend had researched the type of tree she was purchasing, she might have either chosen a more appropriate tree for that location, or decided not to plant this particular tree in this particular location. It was a live Christmas tree, so she might have been able to give it to someone who had more space for such a tree to grow and thrive.

Now, she's experiencing a lot of pain, as the tree has to be continually cut back, and will eventually need to be cut down. That was certainly never her intention, when she tried to do an environmentally friendly thing by purchasing a live Christmas tree.

To me it illustrates a very basic, yet deep spiritual principle. Often times, the current pain we're experiencing, had it's genesis in our own actions or decisions.

We may have ignored red flags, and allowed ourself to get deeper and deeper into an unhealthy situation. We might have done things repeatedly against our own belief system or values. Perhaps we let the opinions of others pressure us into something we didn't really want to do in the first place. The list could go on and on and on. If we're really honest with ourselves, which isn't always the easiest course of actions, we find that we are at the genesis of much of current pain and struggle.

The great news is that we can use this for our learning and our own growth. We can change the way that we approach our decisions and realize that our actions always have consequences in the outer world. Always.

This isn't about blame or feeling 'guilty.' Far from it. This is about understanding the laws of the universe, and using that knowledge to our advantage! To facilitate our learning, growth and improving our lives in powerful and amazing ways!

Before you plant something in your life, consider it carefully!

The Legacy

2010-05-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend is a special time in my family. We have several traditions surrounding the holiday. The most important is to visit cemeteries where relatives are buried. We clean and decorate the graves and remember those who have gone before us. We tell stories, remember and appreciate our ancestors and enjoy the company of those who are still with us to celebrate.

I always look forward to the holiday, because not only do I get together with the people closest to my heart in current time, but I get to pause and reflect on all those who have preceded me in life and who have, by their lifetimes, given me some sort of gift.

In one of the cemeteries I visit, there are 18 family members buried. In some ways, I feel some sadness when I realize how many people have passed. Of the 18, there are only 4 I did not personally know. Those 4 are my dad's grandparents. Everyone else played a role of some kind in my early life. First off, my father, is always tucked safely in my heart. My grandparents, who welcomed me each summer to work on their cherry and blackberry farm. My uncle Johnny, who built me many little wooden items in his wood shop and his wife. My great uncle Paul, who was very close to my dad. My uncle Jack, who was simply one of the nicest people on the entire planet, who died far too young. My great aunt Grace, and great uncle Leo. My dad's cousin Janet, who also died way too young. My great grand parents. It's a long history there in that graveyard. My uncle Jack's brother, who's 4th of July BBQ I attended every year and Jack's parents, who were like another set of grandparents for me when I was a kid. I have so many memories of all these people.

At another cemetery, it's my mom's parents, and one of my uncles that we remember.

I owe them all a debt of gratitude. They all enriched my life in special and important ways. Some of them made my life in it's current form possible - simply by their existence and their persistence in living this thing called life. Others simply made my life better by being in it, celebrating holidays with me, and giving me different perspectives of and approaches to life. They all contributed in important ways to the person I am today.

I love the opportunity to remember and to recognize the contributions that others have made to the life that I am fortunate to live today.

Happy Memorial Day. I hope you remember all those who have come before you, and all that they have made possible for you, in one way or another.

Confessions of a Perfectionist

2010-05-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

I have been a recovering perfectionist for a long, long time. As far as I've come in this process, I'm still working on it - each and every day.

A couple weeks ago, I stopped at one of my favorite fast food places for a quick meal. I got my food, went to the condiment bar and got a few containers of hot sauce and headed to my table.

As I unwrapped a taco, I reached for one of my containers of hot sauce and picked it up with the intention of pouring it on my taco.

Instead of successfully pouring it on my taco, it slipped out of my hand, flipped over, and dumped all over my tray.

Now, this isn't a catastrophe, but the inner reaction I had shocked me! I felt pangs of embarrassment and actual shame because I had slipped and dropped my hot sauce.

I was really, really surprised at how 'not OK' it was for me to make this mistake. I really thought I'd come farther than that in my recovery!

Humans make mistakes. Humans do things wrong. Humans drop things. ALL OF US are human and have weaknesses and flaws. Even on our best days we screw up.

I'm determined to embrace my humanity and stop expecting perfection from myself. It's an ongoing process.

Be gentle with yourself and your humanity. You are not alone!

Let it Be a Dance

2010-05-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of the work of Gabrielle Roth. I have greatly benefited from her Ecstatic Dance practice. It has really helped me to embrace my physical being in a whole new way.

Gabrielle helps her students learn to accept themselves and their physical forms through the process of expressive dance. There is no 'right or wrong' in 'the dance.' There is only using one's body as a form of expressing what is happening inside. It's powerful!

I love the idea of looking at life as a dance. Gabrielle's approach to dance is also a great approach to life. Allow yourself to move through life in the way the feels best to your inner most soul and learn from it all.

Accepting myself in 'the dance' means not judging my moves by anyone else's standards. It means not comparing the way I move to the way that anyone else moves. My way is my way, and for the present moment, it is what it is.

The paradox about Gabrielle's method is that the more I've practiced Ecstatic Dance, the more comfortable I've become moving my body. The more comfortable I've become, the more I 'like' the way I move my body when I dance. I always try to suspend judgment, but I find that the more I practice, the easier that becomes. Partly because I'm more self accepting, and partly because I'm moving with more grace and ease.

Dancing is a great way to get in touch with your spirit. If you've never tried Gabrielle's method, you might want to investigate it!

Let life be a dance...

Rising Above Emotional Whiplash

2010-05-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago, I upgraded my computers to Windows 7. I was one of those who clung to Windows XP for as along as I possibly could. The time finally came for me to make the upgrade, and I finally took the plunge.

For the most part it went smoothly, although I must say it was far from easy.

I bought a new laptop computer and set it up over the course of a two week period.

I was preparing to head out for a long business trip, and was pleased that I was on track for having the computer all set up and ready to rock-n-roll.

There was a small physical defect (dealing with the ethernet port) that I decided to have looked at. The defect made it almost impossible to plug in ethernet cables and be able to remove them again. I had a 'work around' for the problem, but decided I would rather have a permanent solution.

I undertook this repair right before I was scheduled to take my niece to the beach for a little 'girl time' vacation. I only had a few days after that mini-vacation before I would leave on the 6 week long business trip.

What ensued was a nightmare I could have never predicted.

I met with a 'mobile technician' sent out by the hardware manufacturer. After he 'worked on' my machine for 3 hours in a Starbucks, he not only was unable to 'fix' my problem, he rendered the computer unusable. It wouldn't start up!

I was devastated. Here I had to leave the next day for my vacation, and I didn't have a working computer. They couldn't get replacement parts to me until mid week the following week - only a few days before I was scheduled to leave on my work trip.

This computer was essential to my work. I needed to have a working, fully loaded (with about 30 software applications) computer to take with me.

I struggled with whether or not I should even go on my vacation with my niece. I thought that perhaps I should buy a new computer and work as fast as I could to try to get it set up.

I decided to go on my vacation and be as present as I could. I must admit, however, that there was a nagging worry in the pit of my stomach the entire time I was gone. "What if they can't fix this computer?" If they weren't able to fix it, I would have to buy a new machine, and try to do in 4 days what it had taken me two weeks to accomplish on my now busted laptop.

My niece and I had a great time. I was able to set aside my worries, for the most part, and have a great time with her.

When the next technician worked on my computer, it was a whiplash experience, the likes of which I have rarely experienced.

First, he thought he easily solved the problem caused by the first technician. He did this very quickly.

I was elated.

Then, he encountered another problem and the machine wouldn't boot at all. This could have been caused by a number of issues, the most frightening was a hard disk failure (which would have been the worst possible outcome for me).

I was devastated... again.

After several pendulum swings between elated and devastated, he finally had my machine back in working order. Although the original problem was not resolved, my machine was back in working order, and I was relieved beyond expression!

This experience, however, really reminded me of just how easily I can be affected by outer circumstances. I was swinging wildly between elation and devastation! Because of a computer!!

Now, it was a serious issue that would have had serious ramifications for me if it had turned out badly. I don't want to minimize that fact.

The truth is, however, that I don't want to be that emotionally volatile. I was actually surprised at the internal experience I went through as this situation unfolded. On the outside, I was fine (well, after the initial melt down in Starbucks when the guy busted my computer). This was an improvement for me. In years past I would have most likely cancelled my vacation, or even if I'd gone, I would have let it ruin my time there. I'm pleased that I was able to go on with my life and enjoy it despite the problem.

What troubled me is the vast swings internally that I experienced when it looked 'good' or 'bad' on the outside. This is the next level of 'work' for me at a spiritual level. I want to be more 'even' in my reactions and remain at peace, no matter what is happening.

There are always challenges and storms in life. We will never experience a time when there isn't something to worry about. The key is learning how to weather those storms and ride out the problems, with as little inner turmoil and outer reaction as possible.

Got any emotional whiplash experiences going on in your life? Look for the balance. Find the even keel! Learn to know at a deep level that you will be OK, no matter what unfolds in your life!

Getting Pushed out of the Nest

2010-05-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

When we watch birds in flight, it looks so remarkably easy! Birds make flying look so effortless. It's natural, fluid... remarkable!

Yet, long before they demonstrate flying prowess, all birds start out hatching from an egg, and need to be tended to and cared for in the nest. They grow larger and stronger in the nest, until the day comes for them to take their first flight.

Do you think that all birds just leap willingly out of their nests for their initial flight? I have to believe, and nature proves out, that some birds do not willingly fling themselves out of their nest. No, in fact, many birds must be pushed out by their wise and loving parents!

Life often plays this role in our experiences. Sometimes we are literally 'forced' to deal with situations that we would never willingly leap into. Yet, these experiences can be the greatest instruments of our transformation and growth.

Next time you find yourself in 'over your head' or being flung into a situation that you don't feel prepared for, remember that life is most likely giving you a nice firm push out of your cushy little nest. It's time for you to fly, and you can't do it while you're hanging out in the nest.

Take flight - either on your own volition... or when tossed out of the nest! It doesn't matter how the journey begins, as long as you go! Just remember to flap those wings!

Sharper Vision

2010-05-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

I have worn contact lenses since I was 13 years old. I'm 'old school' and wear hard contact lenses. I tried to make the switch to soft lenses a few years ago, but the loss in clarity of my vision was simply not palatable. If you've never worn hard lenses, you wouldn't know what you are missing, but I'm used to a crispness to my vision that isn't possible with soft lenses (according to my eye doctor anyway).

Over the years, my vision has actually remained fairly stable. Every few years I replace my lenses, but that has been about all that was necessary to maintain my clear vision.

This year, my doctor decided it was time to increase my prescription strength a bit. It seems I had slowly, over the past few years lost a little bit of clarity in my vision.

I had noticed that I had more trouble seeing a particular clock in my home from across the room, but didn't give it much thought, until the day I picked up my new lenses!

Last week, my world changed! The day I picked up those new lenses, I realized just how much my vision had deteriorated! Everything is so much sharper and clearer now.

I simply hadn't realized how much I'd lost, until it was restored to me.

Often in life, things 'creep up on us.' Gradual changes, both positive and negative ones, can happen so subtly and slowly that we aren't even aware they are happening. This is a double edged sword. It's a good news/bad news type of deal!

On the positive side, we can make tiny changes, bit by bit, and eventually generate a massive shift in our lives. This is great news. We don't have to make big, dramatic changes to eventually have significant impact down the road.

On the other side of the coin, however, we need to be vigilant to changes in our habits and behaviors that can add up to a larger negative in the long run. Eating just a little bit more each day, can result in a weight gain after several months. Neglecting a relationship, or letting our attention to our friends and loved ones become reduced by competing interests can damage those relationships over time.

Being vigilant and paying attention to what we are doing (and not doing) can pay off big dividends in our lives!

Now that my vision is sharpened and restored - I realize how far I'd 'let it slide' before taking corrective action. The good news is that it didn't take much to correct my course and get me back on track!

Use this knowledge to your advantage! Being the best you can be is largely under your own control and influence!

Pay attention and stay alert. Direct your changes consciously!

No Such Thing as a Dead End on the Spiritual Path

2010-05-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

My teacher, Dr. Bruni, used to always say, "There are no mistakes, only lessons." I believe that everything happens for a reason. All the twists and turns along life's path can sometimes seem confusing and downright random. Yet, I truly believe that there is always meaning and value in what happens to us. We have the opportunity to change, grow and develop through all that happens to us.

In my work as a coach and spiritual counselor I've often heard people lament 'wasted time' and missed opportunities. I do not believe in the concept of 'wasted time.' There are always lessons available to us, no matter what we've done, or not done.

There is no such thing as 'wasted time' or a 'dead end' on the spiritual path. Each and every experience offers us some morsel of learning or development. Even time spent seemingly 'stuck' has value. We may not be able to see it right away. In fact, we may never consciously know why something had to happen to us. That doesn't mean it didn't have value or meaning. Many times, things that happen in our lives set off processes, inside and out, that alter the future in major ways.

Appearances can be deceiving. No matter what is happening, we have an opportunity to learn from it and grow from it. We have the ability to recover from anything that happens to us. We can always change our direction and make a new choice. It is never too late.

Dead end signs don't exist on the spiritual path. Detours are part of the plan. Keep on walking!

Meet George Jetson - The Power of Vision

2010-05-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Remember the cartoon from the 60's called "The Jetson's?" It was a show that depicted life in the year 2062, exactly 100 years in the future. It was filled with futuristic images that seemed completely unbelievable at the time. I watched it as a child in the 1970s. Here we are in 2010, and we're half way to 2062.

Last month I was on a 6 week business trip to the middle east. I was using Skype to communicate with people back home. Skype allows you to use the internet to communicate for free. You can both hear and see the person you're talking to!

As I was "Skyping" I thought about the Jetson's. It is something that was depicted on the Jetson's 50 years ago. Long before anyone knew how to achieve it. It seemed like a fantasy, and now, it's real.

Someone 50 years ago could vision things that most of us couldn't even begin to imagine. Now they are a reality. I wonder where we'll be in 2062? How much of the Jetson's cartoon world will have come to fruition by then.

Vision and imagination are powerful faculties. They have generative and creative power.

Don't be afraid to dream big and envision great things! There is no other way to advance our consciousness and expand our world!

Get busy envisioning a world that you want to live in! Participate in the creation of your future!

Knowing When to Walk Away

2010-05-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Success lies in being able to retreat at the right moment and in the right manner. The success is made possible by the fact that the retreat is not the forced flight of a weak person but the voluntary withdrawal of a strong one." ~ The I Ching or Book of Changes

The voluntary withdrawal of a strong person is an under-appreciated phenomenon. Knowing when to walk away, and being willing and able to do so is not trivial.

So often we consider retreat as being the result of weakness or cowardice. Often the opposite is true.

Taking the high road is always the best course of action. Not stooping to the level of those who might mistreat or abuse you takes a lot of strength. It is easiest to retaliate, seek revenge or 'react' in some way. It takes much more strength and maturity to simply leave people to their bad behavior, show a little compassion and walk away.

The bad behavior of others is not a license to behave badly yourself. That's a cop out.

The only person we can control is the one standing in our own shoes. Everyone else is responsible for their own actions and behavior. If we are tending to our own selves properly, we wouldn't have the time or energy to bother trying to change other people!

Leave people to their own issues, and focus on yourself. That's more than enough to keep you busy!

The Chipped Plate is Following Me

2010-05-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

I have a set of dishes that has 12 of each item. Twelve plates, twelve soup bowls, and twelve salad plates. One of my salad plates has a chip in it's edge. I try to keep it at the bottom of the stack. Something about using a chipped plate bothers me. Yet, try as I might to keep the chipped plate on the bottom of the pile, I always seem to get that particular plate. Whenever I grab a salad plate, I find that I have, once again, grabbed the chipped one. I find that curious.

It hit me even harder, when on a recent trip to the middle east, I was staying in a private home for many weeks. The first day I made my breakfast, I noticed that the salad plate I was using had a chip on its edge. I couldn't believe it.

Furthermore, as the weeks wore on, I found that I almost continuously grabbed that chipped plate! Half way around the world, and I still had my chipped plate! What are the odds?

I thought about what the chipped plates symbolized to me. Even with their glaring imperfection, the chipped plates still performed their valuable function. They still held and presented food, which is what a plate is supposed to do. The chip did not get in the way of doing that job.

It reminded me that even if I'm not perfect, I can still do what I need to do. In fact, I can still fulfil my ultimate purpose. I don't have to be flawless to be valuable.

It is as true for each one of us as it is for my chipped plates.

It also reminded me that our patterns follow us wherever we go, because they live in us. They may 'appear' to be coming at us from the outside, but the repetitive patterns in our lives emanate from within us. No matter where you go... there you are...

Changing locations doesn't rid us of our essential selves. We can't run away from who we are and what we need to face. The only answer is to look straight at what we need to look at... and deal with it head on!

Got any chipped plates showing up in your life? Let them speak to you!!

Leave the Limits!

2010-05-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went to visit friends and relatives in Oregon. After being out of the country for more than 6 weeks, I was excited to get behind the wheel of my car and go on this long drive. The weather cooperated beautifully and I was able to make the trip in bright, glorious sunshine.

As is my custom, I was drinking iced tea all during the road trip. As a result of my tea consumption, I have certain 'pit stops' that I routinely make along the way. When I reached the first of my stops, lets just say that I was 'eager' to get to the restroom! I hurried into the fast food restaurant and made a bee line for the bathroom.

To my dismay, when I arrived at the ladies room, there were two women standing in line waiting to use it. Uh-oh! This was unwelcome news to my bladder.

A few seconds later, an employee came out of the women's bathroom. "Sorry, we just ran out of toilet paper in there. I'll be right back." Double uh-oh!

I wondered if there was anyone using the men's room. I smiled at the first woman in line, pointed at the men's room door and asked her, "Is there anyone in there?"

She looked shocked, a little disgusted and she said, "I have no idea."

"So you won't use it?" I asked.

"NO!" she gasped.

I repeated my query to the second woman.

She nervously shook her head, "No."

"Well, I will!" I cheerfully declared. I pushed the door open, and in I went.

These bathrooms were single occupancy rooms, by the way.

I used the toilet, washed my hands and left the men's room. Those two women were still standing there, waiting for the employee to come back with the toilet paper!!

Neither of the waiting women went into the men's room when I came out.

I purchased another iced tea (of course) and left the restaurant.

The other two women were still waiting when I left.

I was intrigued by the 'conditioning' and the 'belief system' that said it wasn't OK for them to use a toilet because of the word "Men" on the door. It simply wasn't a possibility for them.

Having just returned from the middle east where in some homes you can't flush toilet paper down the toilet, and having traveled in areas of the world where you use a hole in the ground as a toilet, it just didn't occur to me that there would be anything wrong with using the "Men's" room in a public restaurant. The men's room only accommodated one user at a time, and the door locked. Why on earth would it be a problem for the single user to be a woman?

If the two bathrooms in this restaurant had not had "Women" or "Men" on the door, these women would have probably been finished by the time I had even arrived!

It was a good reminder to me, that we need to constantly examine our beliefs and the self imposed 'rules' that we live by. Two women stood there in various states of need, while the answer to their need was fully available to them. Their belief system told them it wasn't possible. Mine said, "GO FOR IT!"

Got any outdated rules running your life? Are there any beliefs that you hold that remain unexamined and potentially limiting? Take a look, see what you find and make any changes necessary to liberate yourself!

Explore the possibilities!

Make Way For Beauty

2010-05-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

At the moment, I have a rather large plant, a foxglove, growing in a very inconvenient spot in my garden. It sprouted last year, right next to my driveway where people get out of their cars. Foxgloves are interesting native plants in my neck of the woods. They produce only leaves in the first year of life. In their second and final year, they produce tall spikes of flowers that range in color from white to purple.

I never kill foxgloves. I let them grow freely in my woodland garden. usually, they grow out in the wild areas of my yard, or in large flower beds where their tall and somewhat gangly size is easily accommodated.

This plant next to my driveway is, well, it's "in the way." It is not a good place for a plant to exist! Even so, when it emerged as a small shrub last year, I didn't have the heart to pull it up and end it's life. I suppose I could have tried to relocate it, but I didn't have the time.

To me, it means something that the plant decided to grow there. It isn't convenient for me, but the plant is going to give the gift of great beauty. I wanted to let this plant give it's gift, even if it wasn't in the most easily accommodated spot!

This year, my patience will pay off. I'll get to see a magnificent spectacle when it blooms. It will give it's gift, then it will quietly fade away. It will, as it dies, produce many seeds to sow new foxglove plants where they find hospitable soil and other needed growing conditions. Life will go on. I will let the seeds determine where that will occur.

I find a powerful reminder in this phenomenon. I am not in control. I allow nature to determine where this particular variety of plant shows up in my garden. I like to be reminded that, although I can affect many aspects of my life, some things remain beyond my ability (or desire) to control!

We need to make way for the mysteries of life. Sometimes, we need to allow things to unfold whether it is convenient... or not. In doing so, we experience far more beauty and wonder in this life.

I will thoroughly enjoy my 'in the way' foxglove this summer. Each time I look at it, I will remember that it brings a gift and a message. I will appreciate it - each and every day.

Coming Home Once Again

2010-05-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today, I arrived home after being away on a 6 week long trip to the Middle East. I had a fantastic trip that was productive and satisfying. I love traveling and 'adapt' to my new surroundings with a fair amount of ease. There is nothing, however, like the pleasure and comfort of returning home.

One of the first things that struck me as I flew in to Seattle was just how green everything was. Taking notice of the 'green' was partly due to the drastic contrast with the middle east landscape. The other factor was that when I left here at the end of March almost none of the deciduous plants had sprouted their new leaves yet. Flying in today EVERYTHING was bright, bright green. It was stunning, actually.

One surprise for me occurred when I walked out to get the mail from my mailbox on the street. It was getting towards dusk. A rather sunny day was coming to an end. I had forgotten (or maybe never noticed) the wonderful scent of the air here! It was so clean, fresh and invigorating!! I just stood outside and took deep breaths of it for a while.

All the green, this wonderful smell... I was overwhelmed with feelings of contentment and familiar comfort. Home. There really is no place like it!

Appreciating our 'home base' and reveling in its comfort is one of the great joys in life. I love that I can go away and be happy wherever I am, but that doesn't diminish the immense pleasure in returning to that base, once again.

I'm delighted to 'be home' in my outer world once again. For the next several days, as I recover from my rather severe jet lag, I will allow myself to be embraced by all those things familiar and soothing.

Enjoying the homecoming is as important as enjoying the traveling afar.

Be where you are. Give special appreciation to 'home.'

To Endure The Burning

2010-05-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

"What is to give light must endure burning." – Viktor Frankl

I don't think there is a person alive who would honestly enjoy the sensation of being 'burned up' in the service of a higher purpose. There might be people who are 'willing' to endure the burning, but few, if any, would enjoy the process.

I admire this quote by Viktor Frankl, who was a World War II, Nazi concentration camp survivor.

It is a literal and symbolic truth. A candle or a fire give the gift of light, but something, the fuel source, is consumed and 'used up' in the process. It is an inevitable and necessary process that must occur to create the light itself.

Spiritual light is no different. Light is created from a burning or conversion process. There is no other way to produce light. Something is used up and consumed in the process of generating light. Often the spiritual teachers and the people who shine the brightest among us, have endured great darkness, and have found a way to turn the bitter and difficult experiences of life into an inspiration and example for the rest of us. They are light bearers and way showers.

It is not for the faint of heart. To shine a great light, you must endure darkness and difficulty. It can be consuming. It can be painful. Those who are willing to go through these processes, bless us all with the transformation that they are willing to undergo. This process creates illumination... which provides benefits to everyone.

Great light and spiritual development does not come without a process of burning... of transformation. Be willing to go through the process and you will experience greater light. Be willing to go through the burning, and you will contribute to increased light for the entire world.

Honoring my Uniqueness

2010-05-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is that makes us humans obsessed with comparing ourselves to one another! I find it a most frustrating and self defeating pattern, and yet I continue to catch myself doing it... far too often.

I had a powerful learning experience with this pattern many years ago. At the time, I was doing a lot of computer information systems design work, including some programming/coding. I studied programming in college, and had a fair aptitude for it, but my real talent was for requirements analysis and systems design. Still, in many of my jobs, I've done a little programming.

In this one particular job, I worked with two very skilled programmers. They cranked out code super efficiently. I've always been a methodical programmer, and I have always had a very specific way that I like to code. If I'm writing a program, I start with multiple sheets of paper. I start to organize the program by segments, and modules. I keep everything organized on paper. It's easier for me to visualize how it all fits together, and keep things organized in their proper structures that way. In the end, I end up with my entire program written out. All I have to do is sit down and type it in. I rarely have logic errors - because everything is immensely well thought out. My errors are usually syntax errors (typos) and are easily identified and corrected. This is the way I wrote all my programs in college. It served me well.

Yet, back in this particular job, I worked with two guys who coded directly from their heads onto their computers. They wrote down very little. They organized everything in their heads and just put it directly into the computer. I really admired this quality. To me... that's how 'smart people' coded. I felt that my method was inferior. It seemed to me that it was like 'remedial coding.' Let me remind you that my programs always worked, and rarely had bugs. Yet, I felt that I wasn't doing it 'right.'

One day, I had a complicated program to write. I got my sheets of paper out and started to work. Then I stopped. I decided that I would not let myself do it 'my way.' I would code the way I'd seen my peers code. Directly from my head, into the computer. And so I began.

I worked, and worked and worked on this program that day. I kept typing in code, trying to keep it all organized in my head. It was really, really difficult for me, and I never felt like I was 'covering all my bases.' After about 4 straight hours of this, I was starting to feel like I was getting to a good place, and the unthinkable happened. The system crashed! I hadn't saved ANY OF MY WORK! I lost 4 hours of programming, and didn't have a single thing written down. IT WAS ALL GONE!

Now, one could argue about the 'wisdom' of not saving my work along the way. I'll give you that point. That was not smart. The truth was, however, that if I had using the system I felt most comfortable with... this would never have happened. First of all, when all I was thinking about was typing in code I'd already written, I didn't forget to save my work! That was part of the procedure! Beyond that, If I'd been doing it 'my way' the most I could have lost was just the typing effort. I would still have had the code on paper.

It was a great learning experience! I have my way... and my way works for me. It wouldn't work for everyone. Other people's ways don't work as well for me. THAT'S OK!

Learning to honor our unique abilities, skills and ways of being is something that I think can come with age and wisdom! No two people are alike... and for good reason. We are all needed... with the special contributions that we can make!

Do it YOUR WAY!

Making a Memory

2010-05-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

"You never know when you are making a memory." ~ Rickie Lee Jones

Sometimes I'm amazed that I seem to remember the strangest things about my life! I can remember snipets in time that seem totally mundane at one level, yet somehow they really impressed me.

I remember sitting with my dog, early on Saturday mornings watching cartoons before anyone else got up in the house. I loved those peaceful quiet times with my pooch.

I vividly recall moments I spent fishing with my dad, driving in his truck with him, drinking coffee like a 'big girl' together with him at the dining room table of our house.

Some negative things creep in too. I'll never forget spilling a soda on him at Disneyland, dropping an ice cream cone in his truck, or him scolding me for goofing around at the "Pine Lodge" Chinese restaurant one night when he lost his patience for my childish antics.

The truth is, that we never know which things will remain in our memories forever, and which things will get tossed out.

No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes, but it behooves us to remember the power of memory when we are dealing with people we care about, especially children. Some things live on far longer than we could ever imagine!

Treat every moment as though it might linger in your memory forever. What would you want to remember? Some things, we have no control over... this is true. But for those things that we do have dominion over, let's use our power as wisely as possible.

Make good memories whenever possible! If something is unfolding differently than you'd like, see what you can do to change it so that the memory can have some pleasantness included in it!

Do Good Works

2010-05-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Do all the good you can,
by all the means you can,
in all the ways you can,
in all the places you can,
at all the times you can,
to all the people you can,
as long as ever you can.
~ John Wesley

Being the granddaughter of a Methodist minister, I have a soft spot in my heart for John Wesley. He was, along with his brother Charles, the founder of the Methodist movement.

This particular quote is one of my favorites. It is a grand guiding principle for one's life. If everyone on the planet lived from this idea, can you imagine the world we would live in?

The good we do doesn't have to be grand - any good act qualifies. Even if we simply set a goal to do one or two good things a day, we could start a goodness revolution on our planet!

See what you can do to add to the revolution!

What To Do With Adversity

2010-05-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records." ~ William A. Ward

I believe we all have the ability to rise above difficulty and hardship. I honestly think that, by design, struggle and difficulty are an unavoidable part of the human experience. Through adversity and hardship we are given the opportunity to develop character. We learn what we are made of, and what we are capable of.

In my work as a spiritual counselor and life coach, I've seen many people questioning 'why' they have to go through such "hard stuff" in life. I've asked the same thing myself, I must admit. When you are in the midst of a hardship, it isn't always easy to see a redeeming value to the experience.

Yet, time and time again, in my own life, and in the lives of those I've worked with, I see a powerful and remarkable phenomenon occur. Once we've come through something tough, there is a resilience and strength that has been cultivated in us that we didn't have before. There is a resource to draw on that makes the next 'tough time' just a little bit easier to deal with.

Most of what makes this possible is our willingness to be changed and grown through any experience. We can resist, or we can surrender to the process. The choice is ours.

Wet clay on a potters wheel can be fashioned into the most amazing objects! If the clay decided it didn't want to be molded and shaped, and fought the potter's efforts and intentions, this would not be possible.

Adversity has the ability to mold us into something greater than we were before... if we will allow it! Willingness to be changed and developed is the key!

I Can Do It

2010-05-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Tell yourself in your secret reveries, I was made to handle affairs." ~ Andrew Carnegie

I love this quote. I am someone who has to do a lot of 'self talk' to keep myself on track. I'm a big believer in the power that we each have to build ourselves up... or to tear ourselves down.

We can make our break our spirits with what we repeatedly tell ourselves. There is no stronger affirmation than, "I can do it!" If you don't say anything else to yourself deliberately... say THAT!

No matter what happens, I can do it!
No matter what life hands me, I can handle it!
I was made to handle my life!
I have everything I need to handle ______________.
I CAN DO IT!

Something Bright in the Darkness

2010-05-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

"To every disadvantage there is a corresponding advantage." ~ W. Clement Stone

I'm sitting in the SEATAC airport, with a 3 hour flight delay, contemplating W. Clement Stone's quote. Actually, in my case, I can prove his statement true! Even though I have a 3 hour flight delay in my travel schedule, there actually is an advantage to offset this disadvantage.

I'm flying to Newark and then later on to Tel Aviv, Israel. I was supposed to have almost an 8 hour layover in Newark. Now, because I'm delayed out of Seattle, I have a much shorter layover in Newark. See... it's true!

This may sound silly, but in my case, breaking up the layover is really helpful to me. 8 hours at one airport is a long time. And, I'd much rather be delayed while sitting comfortable in a restaurant or lounge, than to be trapped on an airplane! There is another advantage to my predicament!

One of my primary spiritual teachers, Jack Boland, used to always say that "Contained within every problem is the seed of it's own solution." I think these two concepts are related.

Nothing is all good or all bad. The ancient Yin and Yang symbol demonstrates that to us. Notice that within the black section of the symbol there is a white dot. Within the white section is a black dot. This symbolizes that nothing is purely dark or purely light. Within each bright situation there is some darkness. Within any dark situation, there is some light. We just need to look for it.

Yin-Yang Symbol

Keep On Keeping On

2010-05-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair." ~ Edmund Burke

Have you ever felt so bad you didn't think you could keep going... yet you did just that?

I can remember many moments and times in my life where I felt that I simply couldn't do 'it' (whatever it was at that particular juncture) and yet somehow I was able to do it anyway.

I like this Edmund Burke quote, because it reminds me that no matter what is happening in my life... I can continue to do what needs to be done.

Emotion does not need to dictate my level of functioning. I'm not an advocate of ignoring one's feelings, but neither do I believe that emotions should rule the day in terms of what gets done. If I lived my life that way, being an emotionally sensitive person, I would never get anything done.

Even if you are in despair, you can still do what you need to do. Be gentle with yourself, but realize you are more capable than you know.

Strengthening the Soul

2010-04-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved." ~ Helen Keller

I'd say this is a favorite theme of mine! I have always believed that some of our best learning comes through our times of adversity.

When we are comfortable and at ease, we are often not in a time of great growth.

My spiritual teacher, Dr. Charles Bruni, used to talk about how life was like climbing stairs. The challenges and times of difficulty are the vertical part of the staircase. The climb. The flat part of the stairs were times of contentment and comfort. Life involves both.

While it is possible to learn to remain at peace during times of stress and difficulty, it doesn't mean that we don't struggle or experience hardship. Tough times are just that... tough.

There is value in the tough times. That is where we are the most likely to grow and strengthen ourselves.

Honor both... the climbing periods and the resting periods. Know that during the climb, you are being grown and strengthened in a way that just isn't possible when you are resting!!

Unknown Influence

2010-04-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Influence often isn’t noticed until it blossoms later in the garden of someone else’s life. Our words and actions may land close to home, or they may be carried far and wide." ~ Pam Farrel

we never know who we might be influencing at any given moment in time. Sometimes our words and actions have ripple affects that reach out far beyond our wildest imaginings.

I once had a college intern working for me as an administrator in my software company. Many years after she had worked for me, I ran into her on the street in Seattle. We had a nice chat over lunch and caught up on all the twists and turns in life that we had each experienced.

She proceeded to tell me that working for me had really helped her become a detail oriented high achiever. She had thought that I was 'too picky' when she worked for me, but I insisted on high quality work product and she complied. Over the years, she said that the skills I helped her develop had really had a positive impact on her career.

Who knew. I simply was being me, and requiring what I needed from an employee. For her, that had been a benefit and had served as a positive influence!

You matter. How you treat people is important. How you conduct your affairs has consequences beyond the immediate and the obvious.

Kindness is Free

2010-04-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Kind words are jewels that live in the heart and soul and remain as blessed memories years after they have been spoken." ~ Marvea Johnson

It's such a simple thing that many of us overlook it. To be kind to another person doesn't take much effort or energy, yet the affects can be far reaching.

I was once waiting for a friend to join me for lunch in a restaurant. I was a little early. It was prime time lunch hour and the restaurant was crowded.

My friend finally showed up and we started visiting. His office is in the same building as the restaurant where we were lunching.

After we'd been there a few minutes, two men from another table got up to leave the restaurant. They walked by our table and stopped to talk to my friend. They worked with him.

One of the guys said something about being late to my friend. He was quick to point out that he was right on time. Then the guy said, "We saw you sitting here by yourself, and we almost invited you to have lunch with us!"

It was such a sweet thing to say. I was having a really difficult time in my life when this happened, and I must have looked a little sad. This guy saying that to me gave my spirit a little lift.

I was having another bad day recently. A brand new computer had a minor mechanical defect. I met with a technician, in a Starbucks, to have my computer repaired. After 3 hours of him working on my computer, not only was the defect not repaired, but my computer was rendered unusable!! This was one day before I was leaving on a 4 day vacation, and 1 week before I would be leaving on a very long business trip! I'd had a rough week anyway, and when this happened, I ended up crying in public at this Starbucks!! I don't usually do that in public (or anywhere else for that matter), so this was particularly embarrassing!

I had just ordered a cup of coffee when the technician gave me all the bad news. As they made my coffee drink, I was dealing with the technician, and my tear-fest began. When I finally composed myself and went to pick up and pay for my coffee, the woman said, "Oh please... I can see you are having a really bad day. Please... the coffee is on me." It was such a sweet gesture.

These are simple kindnesses applied to really tough moments. I will never forget these total strangers who went out of their way to try to be kind to me.

Kindness is free and easy to give!

The Worry Drain

2010-04-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Corrie Ten Boom was a Dutch woman who's family hid Jews in their Holland home during World War II. She and her family were eventually caught and she was sent to Ravensbruck concentration camp. She survived the camp and went on to tell her story.

For someone who went through what she did, to be able to say that worry is worthless should teach us all something!

Worry does not help us change one thing about what is happening around us, or what will happen in the future. All it does is drain our strength.

Why would we want to drain our strength? Especially if we are going through something challenging?

If you want to be uplifted and inspired, learn more about this great lady, and the amazing sacrifice that she and her family made to help others!

The movie, "The Hiding Place" (also a book) is a remarkable account of the Ten Boom family's experience as they hid Jews from the Nazis and were taken to concentration camps as a result. I read this book for the first time when I was in third grade. I never cease to be inspired by the story of these courageous and principled people!

More information on Corrie Ten Boom

Take a lesson from someone who experienced more horror than you or I could possibly imagine. Banish worry from your repertoire of emotional reactions. It serves no useful purpose.

Endurance is Required

2010-04-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Nothing great was ever done without much enduring." ~ Catherine of Siena

Anything worthwhile in life requires energy, effort and patience. It also requires us to endure a lot of uncertainty and sometimes difficulty.

Many people wait for good fortune to fall out of the sky and land on them. This is not the normal way that good enters our life!

If we expect things to come to us without effort and action, we will live a life filled with disappointment and failure.

Success and achievement come from action, focus, determination and the willingness to endure all the obstacles, pitfalls and challenges that will come along the way.

I've said before that there are many things in my life that I probably would have never undertaken, had I known just how complicated and time consuming they would be!

I think that's why it's merciful that we don't know all that will be required of us when we take on brand new projects! If we did, we might be crushed under the weight of all that is to come. Instead, it is best to just get started, and then NOT allow ourselves to be turned around when we start to hit the challenges along the way!

Challenges will come! Obstacles will come! It's all part of the process. To get to our destination... we must endure!

Living Your Truth

2010-04-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Integrity is a commitment to live consistently with what you know to be true about life." ~ Pam Farrel

Living true to your principles is easier said than done. It is a great goal to aspire to. We will certainly have more peace internally if we are living consistently within our value and belief system.

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time:

To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest. ~ Mohandas Gandhi

Unfortunately in life, many people take an easier path. They go to church every Sunday, look like the pillars of their community, but are deeply dysfunctional and troubled in their personal life - behind closed doors. Others look like clean cut, wholesome people, whom everyone admires and respects, but they are living double lives, deceiving people and acting in selfish and hurtful ways. People who would never think about stealing from another person, don't think much about taking office supplies from the company they work for. The list could go on and on.

There are few among us who don't have some inconsistencies in what we know to be 'right' and what we actually do in our lives.

Working to 'clean up our acts' and get the 'inside to match the outside' is a worthy goal!

Living By Example

2010-04-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Your example is much more powerful than anything you can ever say." ~ Elisabeth Elliot

I always cringe when I think of a parent saying to a child, "Do as I say... not as I do." What kind of craziness is that?

We emulate and imitate people that we admire. Children admire their parents, and they should WANT to be like them. If we are doing something we don't want our kids to do... we should stop doing it!

This also extends outward beyond just the influence that we have over kids and young people in our lives.

When you are admired and respected by those around you... they watch what you do. They look at your behavior as a guide to what is right, wrong, desirable or undesirable.

It's powerful to have that sort of influence over each other. We should take it seriously.

Our life is an example of our beliefs and of our priorities. Others will notice what we do and how we do it.

One of my favorite people in history, St. Francis of Assisi said, "It is no use walking anywhere to preach, unless our walking is our preaching."

I couldn't agree more! Pay attention to the example you are setting!!

Weaving the Future

2010-04-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

"We are weaving the future on the loom of today." ~ Grace Dawson

I love the concept of viewing ourselves as the weavers of our future! Seeing each day as an opportunity to weave and add to the tapestry of our life is powerful!

When we make choices about how to spend our time, we are selecting the thread or yarn that we are putting into our loom. Our perspectives and attitudes reflect the 'technique' that we employ in our weaving practices.

What we do today will affect our tomorrow. Small choices, over time, make a big difference! If we spend some time each day, weaving on a loom - we make progress. If we ignore the loom, and leave it idle in the corner, nothing happens. Nothing gets created.

The more time, attention and focus that we give to our weaving, the richer and more beautiful our tapestry will become.

Get busy on that loom! Today is the day to come fully to the weaving of your life!

Looking Forward to Something

2010-04-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

"When we give ourselves something to look forward to, no matter how great or small the event, we are giving ourselves the gift of hope. And where there’s hope built into tomorrow, there are all kinds of possibilities for overcoming whatever obstacle we face today." ~ Ruth Senter

I visited an elderly woman named Ethel in a nursing home for 13 years. She passed away in November 2009. In her final years of life, Ethel struggled with failing eyesight and a number of health challenges. She was in a fair amount of pain... pretty much all the time.

Even with all this going on, Ethel found joy in the simple things in life and she ALWAYS had something on her upcoming schedule to look forward to. Whether it was a visit from one of her sons, a family gathering or a church event, she always had something that she was thinking about and planning for.

Watching her motivate herself TODAY because of what she had coming up in her future was inspiring. She also had these events out in front of her... motivating her to continue, even when her daily life was sometimes painful and difficult.

I'm not advocating 'living in the future' but it really can be an inspiration to pick future events as tools to cultivate motivation and energy for today!
Ethel & having things to look forward to

Attitude Opens Doors

2010-04-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." ~ Helen Keller

Our attitude really is a key component in how our life unfolds. I truly believe that our attitude can either open or close doors to us. The way we look at, and engage with life, is instrumental in crafting our actual experience.

Examining our persistent attitudes and deeply help beliefs can sometimes yield valuable information about the 'stuck' places in our life. When we start to whittle away at self defeating attitudes, we can change the course of our destiny!

Take It Easy

2010-04-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Always take an emergency leisurely. ~ Chinese Proverb

I'm working on a new approach to life. I'm trying to not take anything too seriously. I'm building confidence in my ability to handle whatever happens. I want to not be so easily blown about by circumstance.

I love this quote because it speaks to the fact that we have the ability to handle even the most challenging of situation with ease, peace and grace.

We have a far greater capacity than we know... to handle things without panicking and making it into a catastrophe. We can react calmly, no matter what is happening around us. We have that capacity.

Relax, breath and do what needs to be done... in peace.

Celebrate Your Originality

2010-04-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Nature arms each man with some faculty which enables him to do easily some feat impossible to any other." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I was in seminary, I remember having a discussion with a classmate of mine. She worked as an anger management counselor in the prison system. She worked with men who had committed violent crimes. She was a tiny woman - very petite and extremely pretty. When I looked at her, I wondered where she found the nerve to work with these rough guys.

As she and I chatted, she let me know that she'd heard about how much time I spent working in the Middle East. She marveled at what I do, and said, "I could never do that! I would be so afraid to go there!"

Here I was looking at her, wondering how she found the strength and courage to do what she does... and she was thinking the exact same thing about me.

We laughed about how we each are 'fearless' about what we do, but couldn't imagine stepping in to each other's shoes.

God gives each one of us the special 'package' that we need in order to make the contribution we are supposed to make to life. We don't get what other people get. They don't get what we get. At least not in the same exact configuration.

We should celebrate and embrace our uniqueness and be grateful for all the people who do the things we can't. It makes the world go round!

The "DO IT" People

2010-04-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Ideas are a dime a dozen, but the men and women who implement them are priceless." ~ Mary Kay Ash

Another way of saying this is... "Talk is cheap."

It is so easy to 'talk big.' It is not so easy to put words into action and persevere to actually accomplish the things we want to do.

I've known lots of big talkers in my day. Those people often didn't do any of the things they talked about. They didn't put muscle behind their words.

It is more important to do small things consistently, than to talk 'big' and take zero action.

Give me the "DO IT" people any day of the week. I'd rather see little tiny steps forward than to hear about the ever elusive 'someday.'

Get to it! Be a "DO IT" person!

Sweet Silence

2010-04-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together." ~ Thomas Carlyle

We live in a world of noise. We are constantly bombarded with activity and stimulation.

I recently took a domestic cross country flight and was dismayed to see that the airline I fly had installed TV screens on the back of every seat. All the screens are on when you get on the plane, but they are just repeating a 'preview' of movie trailers and TV programs available. You have to pay (with your credit card) to actually watch TV, but ALL the screens are on when you board the plane. That means that the lights are flickering throughout the entire plane, unless people turn off their monitors!!

It amazes me that we are so used to constant stimulation that most people didn't even attempt to turn off the continuous, repetitive stream of images.

Humans need silence. Humans need stimulus free time! We have gotten so far away from natural rhythms of life. It isn't healthy or good for us!

Give yourself the gift of peace and quiet on a regular basis.We all need it!

Times Like These

2010-04-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

"In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these." ~ Paul Harvey

Many people are having a tough time right now. The economic woes of the country are not yet completely behind us. People are struggling.

There is nothing new under the sun. People have always had tough times. The specific details might change, but adversity and struggle seem to be part and parcel of the human experience.

Sometimes I think we take it personally when things get tough.

The truth is... everyone has tough times. Everyone feels overwhelmed and burdened once in a while. Sometimes the 'dark night' lasts a long time. This too... is nothing new.

The trick is, to not take it personally. The art is to realize that the challenges and tough times are part of the deal and to handle them graciously and skillfully. That is our opportunity.

Use the opportunity of the 'tough times' to grow and develop spiritual maturity and personal strength and integrity.

Shed a Lot

2010-04-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

"My dog and cat have taught me a great lesson in life… shed a lot." ~ Susan Carlson

Shed it
Release it
Let it go
Shake it off
Walk away from it
Be unattached

Freedom is achieved by learning to release and let go.

Practice this principle in all the areas that you can. Clean out a drawer or a closet. Get rid of things you no longer use or need.

Examine your thought patterns and belief systems. If it doesn't serve you any more... let it go!

Learning to Sail

2010-04-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship." ~ Louisa May Alcott

We don't learn much when life is comfortable and easy. It is through the trials and challenges in life that we grow and develop.

Spiritual and personal growth come from going through things.

My teacher, Dr. Bruni, used to say that we are here in the "Earth School" to learn lessons and to grow spiritually. The easy, comfortable experiences of life are great, but that isn't where the great growth and evolution comes from.

It's in the 'tough stuff' of life that our muscles are stretched and strengthened.

I love this quote about storms and sailing. Storms cultivate the skills of a sailor. You need the wind in order to sail. The more wind... the faster and further you can sail!

We do not decide which way the winds blow, but we can set our sails and use the wind to propel us to our destination.

The Inner Glow

2010-04-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Taking joy in life is a woman’s best cosmetic. ~ Rosalind Russell

I love this quote.

Beauty is not about the external appearance of a person. There is nothing as attractive as the glow that comes from within a happy, confident, contented person.

I'm not against making the best out of our appearance, but I think far too little is placed on inner beauty, and how it radiates out through whatever we look like on the outside.

Twinkies look pretty good on the outside, but they are full of air and fluff.

I'd rather be full of juicy, authentic sustenance! I think that is beautiful!

Cultivate inner strength, happiness, and contentment. You will automatically be more appealing and attractive to those around you!

April 6th Birthday Bunch

2010-04-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday! Every year the president of the nation delivers the 'state of the union' address. I feel that it is important on the day of our birth to pause and reflect on the "state of our life." It's like our own personal 'new years' event. We have the ability to course correct at any time, but our birthday provides a powerful opportunity to accomplish this!

I attended the One Spirit Interfaith Seminary in New York City. My class had about 70 people in it. Each student was assigned to a Dean who reviewed and evaluated our work.

One day, after class, I was walking out of the building with my Dean, Stephanie. We had decided to go out for a drink after class. As we walked along the sidewalk in NYC, another classmate walked with us.

Stephanie and I had already gotten to know each other somewhat during the course of the school year. We were chatting about just how similar we were and she said, "I keep forgetting to ask you when your birthday is?" I told her it was April 6th, and her jaw dropped open. "So is mine!" she exclaimed.

The other student walking with us said, "It's mine too!!!!" The three of us women were walking shoulder to shoulder along the street and we all had the same birthday.

But it gets even better.

One of the male students in our class was walking behind us. He said, "SO IS MINE!!!!!"

All four of us had the same birthday. Three classmates and one of our class Deans!

The next day in class we told that story to our classmates during open sharing. At that moment, another Dean let us know that it was her birthday as well!

Later we learned that one of the distance learners in our class also had April 6th as a birthday!

That made 4 students out of 70 with the same birthday and 2 out of 4 Deans!

It was pretty amazing!!

I've heard that Mormons believe Jesus was born on April 6th. :)

All I know is that, to me, it is a special and important day. It's the day I came into this life.

On this day, I'm asking myself a lot of questions about the contributions I've made, the goals I've achieved and the experiences I've had. I expect to see and do a lot more before I'm done here.

Today is my personal "Happy New Year's Day!"

The Small Things Matter

2010-04-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” ~ Mother Teresa

I think we can get very caught up sometimes in believing that we need to do big things in order to make a difference in the world. This is a completely erroneous belief!

Some of the people who have made the biggest differences in my life have done nothing grandiose, but their impact on me has been profound.

I’ve written before about my next door neighbor lady when I was growing up. Lucy treated me with respect and kindness, even when I was a very young girl. I had tea and cookies at her house pretty much every night when I was growing up. A few minutes of her time each night, and she radically altered my life! Who I am today was heavily influenced by her strength and wisdom. All she did was visit with a little girl on a regular basis. She shared what she had to give. She shared her time.

I also think back to a yoga teacher of mine. All she did was show up faithfully and teach her class. I looked forward to her class twice a week for many years. It was constant presence in my chaotic life. Her willingness to show up and teach her class on a regular basis was a comfort to me.

Right now, I have a waiter at one of my favorite restaurants. All he does is serve me food and treat me kindly, yet he is one of the bright spots in my life. I look forward to seeing him. He enriches my life.

It doesn't take much. Give what you have to give in each moment. It doesn't have to be a big, profound gift. The small things add up and matter just as much, if not more than something grandiose.

Quick Transitions

2010-04-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I took my niece to the beach for a few days of her spring break. We had such a great time! One of the amazing things about our trip was how the weather cooperated with us.

On our drive to the beach, it sprinkled rain on us intermittently. I worried a bit about the next few days. Would we be able to get out on the beach at all? Did I bring enough indoor activity to occupy us if it rained the entire time?

As we pulled in to the little beach town where we were going to stay, the clouds began to break up and the sun came out. By the time we checked in to our condo, it was rather pleasant outside. We seized the opportunity to take a walk on the beach. I secretly thought to myself that this might be our only 'good weather' the entire time we were there. I had, after all, checked the weather report, and it looked pretty dreary for the duration of our stay.

After our walk, we went to dinner. The sun was still shining, and our drive to the restaurant, and walk around town was perfect. Once we got back to our condo, within seconds, it began to pour down rain! Then the wind began to blow! We had ourselves a full blown storm. We sat inside and enjoyed the raging storm as we did a jigsaw puzzle.

In the morning, we went out for breakfast, and watched buckets of rain pour down outside the restaurant window! I wondered if we would get bored being inside all day.

Once again, however, when we drove back to the condo, the clouds parted, the sun came out and it turned into a gloriously beautiful day! We took a long walk on the beach in the sunshine. It wasn't even windy!

It was amazing how each time we were 'ready' to do something outside, the weather cooperated and cleared up. Whenever we were safe and warm inside, we had rain and wind storms!

The transitions were incredibly rapid. The changes happened so quickly.

Each time the weather got bad, I worried a little about our next planned outdoor activity. That was wasted energy! The bad weather eventually passed, and we were able to get out and do what we wanted to do.

It reminded me of one of my all time favorite sayings, "This too shall pass."

Things change. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good things, and certainly not the 'bad' things.

When we're in the midst of a difficult time, we need to remember that it WILL pass.

Asking, "Where Did I go Right?"

2010-04-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

I heard a song on the radio the other day that had a very profound line in it. The singer was looking back at his life and asking the question,

"Where did I go right?"

So often we are asking the question, "Where did I go wrong?"

The way the universe works, however, is that we get more of what we focus on. Shouldn't we be studying what we do that yields good results if we want more good results?

Now, I'm all for studying what has gone wrong in our lives, as a way of learning and growing (and hopefully avoiding repeated negative experiences), but I really was touched by this line in this song.

Let's give ourselves credit for what we have done right, and for the progress we've made. Let's study the relationship between what we've done 'right' and the results that have come from those actions.

Celebrate and replicate your successes!

Where have you gone 'right' in your life?

A Simple Smile

2010-03-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

"A smile is the lighting system of the face and the heating system of the heart." ~ Barbara Johnson

It doesn't take much to help someone have a little bit brighter day. It's as simple as curling the edges of your mouth upward and giving them a little smile.

I love the above quote by Barbara Johnson. It really is hard to not feel a bit cheered and encouraged when someone gives you a smile. There is something comforting about seeing a smile on another person's face.

Give your smiles freely. Practice that moment when you smile at at someone and see a little glimmer of light flash across their face in acknowledgment.

It's a simple way to make a difference.

The Cost of Poor Choices

2010-03-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

I listen to a lot of inspirational speakers and ministers. While I don't agree with 100% of her theology, I really love Joyce Meyer. Her no nonsense approach to the spiritual life appeals to me. One of the hallmarks of her perspective focuses on personal responsibility and doing our part to clean up our act, as an important part of our spiritual maturing process.

I've heard Joyce Meyer say this many times:

"We pay a high price for low living." – Joyce Meyer

This particular quote really struck me. To me, it isn't about 'right and wrong' or living by specific moral or religious standards. To me, this is common sense and basic spiritual law.

When we make good decisions, we will feel good about them. When we make poor choices, we will experience the consequences of those actions, eventually. No one really gets away with anything, no matter what it looks like.

It's not always easy to do the right thing, but when we make mistakes or take 'low' action, we will pay a price for that. We pay a price emotionally, mentally and often times physically - both in the toll it takes on our body, and in the material consequences in our lives - broken relationships, messed up work situations, school issues, failed projects and the list goes on.

Nothing in life is free... and the cost of bad choices is complication, frustration and pain! We don't need any person or religion to tell us those things are undesirable. When all else fails, life can be our teacher.

Consequences are called universal feedback. It's life teaching us lessons.

Earring Abundance Lesson

2010-03-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I spent a weekend with my extended family, celebrating a beloved uncle's 80th birthday. One of our events was a breakfast gathering at a local eatery.

One of my relatives makes beautiful earrings, many of them from 'found objects.' He has taken this up as a hobby and is getting quite good at it!

He makes a lot of earrings, and mostly just gives them away to the women in his life.

As we gathered around the breakfast table, he brought bags of earrings and laid them on the table in front of all of us women. He told us to take all we wanted!

I began to sort through earrings. There were so many there that I liked! I set aside the ones I liked the most, and was planning on narrowing it down to my one special pair.

I had 5 pairs of earrings on the table in front of me. My uncle, the earring maker, came by and started collecting all the 'unclaimed' earrings to put them away before our meals came.

I told him I was sorting through these 5 pairs that I liked to narrow it down. His response was, "I told you to take all you wanted! Keep them all!" I argued that I couldn't do that! I said I didn't want to be a piggy. He laughed and said, "This is why I make them... I'm just delighted that you like them so much!"

I still felt resistant. What would the other women in my family think? Earrings are one of my favorite things in the entire universe, but taking 5 pairs? I felt like I was doing something wrong, even though I was being offered 'all I wanted.'

There were enough earrings to go around. In fact, there were more than enough earrings to go around! He had at least 100 pairs of earrings there, and not very many women!

He was delighted to have me take the five pairs of earrings I had selected! Yet, I still felt I was doing something wrong by accepting what was being offered to me.

I spent some time reflecting on this, because I was a bit shocked at my reaction. Some part of me felt unworthy of accepting such a generous gift. One little pair felt acceptable, but I didn't feel deserving of 5 pairs of beautiful earrings.

I decided to graciously accept his gift, and work with myself around the feelings I had internally. I deserved those earrings. It was a gift freely offered, and I would practice accepting with open arms.

I felt a little better when I realized my mom and aunt had taken more pairs than I had!! We all ended up with a new 'ear wardrobe' that day.

I'm not advocating being selfish or greedy... not by a long shot. I am, however, suggesting that we should examine our relationship to the concepts of deservability and worthiness. Sometimes what we desire is right in front of us, and we are pushing it away because we don't feel its OK to receive it.

When life offers you a gift, freely given, grab it with both hands!

"I am open to receive. I deserve all the good that life has to offer me. I am worthy and deserving of all good things."

Backwards & Mismatched

2010-03-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I attended a fun, family party. Our festivities lasted late into the night, and my family and I had to get up early the next morning. To make matters worse, we had the 'spring ahead' daylight savings time adjustment that night! When my alarm went off at 7am (6am to my body) I was thoroughly exhausted!

I hastily showered and got dressed, and prepared to attend a family breakfast get together at a nearby restaurant.

I have a bit of a reputation in my family for being thoroughly organized and 'on top of things.'

Our big group arrived at the restaurant and we commenced our merry making.

One of my relatives makes beautiful earrings and brought dozens of pairs for all the women in the family to sort through. We were allowed to take all we wanted! I am an earring fanatic! This was my idea of heaven on earth!

As I was sorting through the earrings, I moved to pull one out of my ear so that I could compare lengths. I have a 'sweet spot' earring length that I prefer. As I grabbed the earring in my ear, I realized that it wasn't the earring I thought that I'd put on that morning! I took both my earrings out and realized that they were mismatched! I had two different earrings on!

Everyone at the table got a good chuckle out of that.

As we sat there a little longer, I suddenly realized something was irritating the front of my neck. I reached up to investigate what was bothering me... it was the tag of my shirt. I HAD MY SHIRT ON BACKWARDS! Now, this is a bit of trick given that I had a V-neck t-shirt on! I cracked up laughing, showed my brother and a few other relatives (everyone laughed) and I excused myself to the restroom to 'right myself!'

Haven't you had days like that? I was all discombobulated! Mismatched and backwards! That's exactly how I felt. I was tired and not thinking as clearly as I usually do (obviously).

It was good for me for a couple important reasons. The fact that I could laugh about it all was a huge improvement from the 'me' I was years ago. I used to take everything much more seriously. I couldn't cut myself any slack. The fact that I could publicly embarrass myself and laugh about it makes me very happy!

It was also good for those I love to see that I have my 'off days' just like everyone else. No one has it together all the time.

Next time you find yourself 'mismatched' and backwards... just laugh it off and try again!

Don't take it all so seriously!

Fresh Air

2010-03-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

Fresh air works wonders on a weary mind and body. Yesterday I felt pretty tired and a bit overwhelmed. Coming off of a little vacation and facing lots of deadlines, I worked for several hours in a flurry of activity. It was a gorgeous spring day, and I really felt like going for a walk. Part of me felt I should keep working - that I didn't have enough time to 'goof off.' Another part of me argued that I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by. Soon I'll be traveling a lot for business, and I won't be free to take walks on the the ridge near my home.

When I got out and started walking in the fresh air and sunshine, I started to feel calmer and more at peace. My thoughts slowed down. The weight of the tasks ahead of me started to feel lighter and more manageable.

With each deep breath my body relaxed and my mind continued to clear. The air worked its magic.

When I returned from my walk, I was invigorated and felt more like tackling the next items on my to do list. I was more productive and enjoyed the process of getting the work done!

Fresh air, clearing one's head... it's a powerful mechanism for changing an attitude or a perspective.

If you find yourself feeling stuck, overwhelmed, down or defeated... trying taking some nice slow deep breaths, and if possible, go for a walk outside. Let the fresh air work it's magic.

He Rolls With It

2010-03-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

This month my uncle David, one of my favorite people in the world, turned 80 years old. I have spent many happy days in my adult life in his company - laughing and enjoying a variety of experiences.

I've always been impressed with his resilience and his 'go with the flow' attitude towards life. He seems to roll along above petty grievances and family drama. Everyone adores him.

He spent a lot of his life in the throws of alcoholism. We figured out that he and I got into recovery about the same time - me from my eating disorder, and him from his alcoholism.

Someone who spent a lot of their life in the grips of an addiction might have some bitterness for what they lost or missed out on. My uncle, however, seems to focus on today and doesn't spend a lot of time looking back - at least that's how it appears to me. He takes each moment and lives it for all it's worth. He has a zest for living that I rarely see in people my own age, let alone those in their 70's or 80's.

I've been lucky to travel with him quite a bit and enjoy a lot of life together. He's a great role model for how to just roll with whatever comes along. He doesn't take things too seriously, including himself. I can really learn from that character trait!

He's still fully alive and committed to learning and growing. He has curiosity and willingness to give new things a shot - with incredible enthusiasm. What an attitude!!

I look forward to many more years of learning from and having fun with this magnificent guy.

Happy Birthday Uncle David!!

Me with my Uncle David

Shifting Tides

2010-03-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Spending time at the beach always causes me to reflect on the nature that the magnificent and mighty ocean offers us. The ebb and flow of the tide is one such lesson.

The tide comes in. The tide goes out. The rhythms of that cycle are not something we can alter. Every day there are two high tides and two low tides. The levels of the tides vary, but the fact that the tide comes in and goes out, never waivers.

If we count on the tide always being low - we are likely to get stranded someplace we don't want to be. We might climb onto a rock that we can walk to at low tide, only to find that we can't get off the rock when it is surrounded by the crashing surf.

If we count on the tide to be high all the time, we might find our boat beached unexpectedly on the sand when the inevitable turning of the tide comes.

To rely on something to remain constant, in a world that is always changing is foolish and futile. That is not the way our world operates!

The low tide yields the treasures of the sea. Shells and creatures wash in and are beached on the sand as the tide recedes. Some of the best beach combing (not to mention clam digging) is done at low tide.

High tide brings the dramatic surf closer to us. It is magnificent to watch and listen to. We can sometimes see more wildlife at high tide as the creatures of the sea are brought more clearly into view as they approach.

Learning to appreciate both the lows and highs in life is a key to satisfaction and happiness. There is something to be found in the low times, just like there is at low tide. High tide brings other gifts... just like a peak experience in our life.

All have value.

Learn to appreciate the lows and highs... and know that they will both come in their time and season. Trying to deny this is like trying to stop the tide!

My niece and I hanging out at the beach...enjoying the lessons of the tide.

To Deeply Let Go

2010-03-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

I feel so blessed right now. I spent a wonderful day with my soon-to-be 15 year old niece. She's a wonderful kid and I love every minute that I get to spend with her. Her parents were nice enough to let me have her for several days of her spring break this year and we headed to the coast for some 'girl time.'

Both of us lead busy, productive lives, albeit of very different content! We both have a lot on our plates, work hard, and feel a bit stressed at times.

We have been looking forward to a little R&R together for quite a long time!

One of the things that both of us noticed is that time seems to pass more slowly at the beach. It really, truly does.

We arrived at our condo at about 3:30, and got unpacked and settled in. Then we took a nice long walk on the beach. It actually rained on us a bit when we were driving to the coast, but as soon as we arrived here the sun came out and shined on us. Our entire walk was spent under fairly blue skies and sunshine. Dark storm clouds were present over the nearby hills, but they stayed at bay long enough for us to get a nice walk in.

After that we got ready to head to town for dinner. A nice chat over dinner, a walk to the grocery store for a couple last minute items and we headed back to our 'home.'

Once back home, it began to actually rain pretty hard, and the wind picked up. We had ourselves s little coastal storm to watch and listen to.

We spent our evening doing a 300 piece 'warm up' jigsaw puzzle of... a beach scene! Then we each took showers, did our 'facebooking', my niece used the hot wax I brought to give herself a hand and foot moisturizing treatment.

We looked at some pictures on my computer, checked out a couple other area hotels online (for future trips) and now it's time for much needed sleep.

We've only been here for 8 hours, and I feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders!

It feels so good to step away from the hustle and bustle of regular, every day, over loaded life... and just... let go.

My intention for our time together is that we have a lot of fun, do some great sharing and bonding, relax deeply and end our little vacation well rested and ready to return to our normal routines.

I'm glad that I get to help her learn about good self care and taking 'time out.' I've worked a little 'too hard' my entire life. I've only recently learned about playing and allowing myself to have 'down time.' It's still a challenge for me when my 'to do' list is always a mile long.

My niece knows I had a very stressful week and have many things I 'could' be doing to handle some responsibilities that are looming over my head. And yet, I am choosing to let go of those things... be with her... relax... and let go. I love that I am getting to set this example for her, and share this time of presence and connection together.

I think it is important to cultivate the ability to let go and relax... even in the midst of drama, trials and the sometimes overwhelming nature of modern day life.

We need time to recharge our batteries. We need time to just be. We need time to enjoy the company of those we care about without agendas, schedules and pressure.

Finding a way to build 'down time' into each day... is one of the greatest gifts we can giver ourselves, and those around us. We are better when we are rested and at peace.

Let it go... relax... unwind... really rest... and see how much better your life feels!

Let it Bake First

2010-03-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today I got a distress call from a friend of mine. Her computer locked up and she didn't know how to correct the situation. When she first got her computer, I taught her that under such circumstances, she should depress the power button until the computer shut down.

She said she tried that, but that it wasn't working. The problem was she wasn't holding down the button long enough. They key is, you hold the button down UNTIL the computer shuts itself down. She was giving up too soon.

Often times in life, we give up on something at the critical moment. If we stuck with something just a little longer, we could most likely achieve our goal. Impatience is a dream killer. Impatience is the culprit in many a missed target.

Just like with the computer shut down process, when the computer is frozen, 'it takes what it takes' to shut it down. You have to hold down the button UNTIL it shuts down. If you let the button up too soon, the system will not shut down.Impatience undermines the process of completion.

Think about the process of baking a cake. Let's keep it simple. You buy a cake mix and pour it into a bowl. You add the water, oil, maybe an egg and you mix the batter. Next you grease the pan and pour the batter into it. You place the cake pan into a preheated oven and set the timer. Let's say the cake is supposed to bake for 20 minutes.

What if you decide after 7 minutes that you want your cake NOW? If you take the cake out of the oven at that point you will have a gooey, partially baked mess.

WANTING the cake to be done at 7 minutes doesn't make it done.

It takes what it takes to bake the cake. You have to allow the cake it's full baking time in order to enjoy the results of a tasty, properly baked treat.

Sometimes we forget that principle and we try to rush things in life. We want to achieve goals, meet milestones, or have situations shift on our time table - and we forget that God's timing, or the Universe's timing is often different from our own.

It takes what it takes. Let the cake bake completely before you try to take it out of the oven and
eat it.

Pause First

2010-03-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

I am finally starting to learn this lesson. It is one I've been struggling with for my entire adult life.

Something challenging happens. I have an internal emotional reaction and then an immediate external response occurs. Often times, the response isn't productive.

Building in a PAUSE after the internal emotional reaction is easier said than done.

I've practiced it over and over and over again for many years. It's important to note that I've failed many, many, many times over the years.

What I'm finding now, is that all my repeated attempts to practice building in the pause is starting to pay off.

I wrote yesterday about the false alarm I experienced in my house, and in my head about an unexpected work requirement. I'm happy to say that I delayed any outer response to the news and by the time I did respond, I was in a totally different space! The 'reaction' I had internally was completely out of proportion with reality. It took a little time to see that, and then I was able to respond to the actual situation, and not the 'invented' one in my head. What a relief!

A friend of mine told me the following idea a long time ago:

"Immediacy of emotion does NOT necessitate immediacy of action."

I don't know who said it first, but I have used this as a mantra for the past many years.

I offer it to you as a practice. When you have any strong, negative internal reaction, remind yourself of this very true principle and build in a pause. Let the situation be. Reflect on it a bit and settle down. Take no action immediately. Give yourself time for your thinking to clear. Then, and only then, craft your response!

If you've ever over reacted to something... or made a situation worse by how you handled it, this is great practice for you to undertake!

Build in a pause... and see how much more smoothly your life unfolds!

It's Only a False Alarm

2010-03-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today, the UPS man brought a package to my door. I disarmed my alarm system to open the door and receive the package. As soon as I closed the door, I rearmed the alarm system. This is my 'standard procedure.'

My alarm system has two modes. I can arm it with or without internal motion detectors. I intended to set the alarm without the interior motion detectors, since I was moving around inside the house.

It takes several seconds for the alarm system to 'arm' itself after being reset.

I accepted the package, then went into a back room where there are no motion sensors. When I came out into the main part of the house, the alarm went off!

My alarm is LOUD! Several sirens inside... more outside... it is LOUD!

As the alarm went off, my heart started to pound and I ran to the nearest control panel. I entered my code and cancelled the alarm.

It took several minutes for me to calm down - even though I knew full well that the alarm was not caused by any true danger.

I chuckled a bit about how long it took me to 'get it,' in my body, that this was merely a false alarm.

I laughed because I had another situation come up in my life today that I had a strong 'reaction' to but that didn't really warrant the strong response that I had.

I was hit with an unexpected requirement from one of my clients. It is something I have never done before, and was told I wouldn't have to do. Now, it's landed on my plate. I'm up against several serious deadlines, and have no extra time in my schedule for the next couple weeks. I panicked, and had an internal 'freak out' over the new request.

I stopped myself from 'reacting' in the moment, and still have yet to respond to the client. After many hours, and lots of reflection, I feel much calmer, and have planned a very balanced, assertive and reasonable response. I can assure you, if I'd acted when I first received the request, I would not have handled it this well.

I got the request just before I accidentally set off my alarm system this morning. As I reflected on my 'reaction' to the request, I realized that it was just a different kind of false alarm. I wasn't in any danger. No one was going to hurt me. The situation seemed overwhelming when I first got the request, but upon reflection I realized that I had a lot of options in regards to how to handle it. I now have a plan, and although I'm not thrilled with the situation, I feel calm, relaxed and confident that a mutually acceptable solution will be reached.

What a difference from where I started when my internal 'alarm system' was going off.

So often in life, we have a 'false alarm' inside ourselves when a situation triggers our fear! If we treat the alarm as 'real' and react accordingly, we will inevitably make our situations worse. If we can 'talk ourselves down' out of the reaction to the 'false alarm' we can think more clearly and craft a better response.

Next time your internal alarm bells are going off, ask yourself if it's really an emergency, or if this is merely a false alarm!

Help Magically Appears

2010-03-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm so amazed at how many times in my life I have a need, and a solution or answer magically, and sometimes mysteriously manifests before my very eyes.

Yesterday I wrote about this fantastic surprise party we had for my uncle over the weekend.

When I found out about the party, I planned to make a photo slide show for my Uncle to give him a bit of a retrospective on his life. I scanned ALL the photos from my mom's old albums this past fall, as a Christmas gift for my two brothers. I have thousands, and I mean THOUSANDS of photographs!

Since I had 'digitized' our family history, when I heard about David's surprise party, I decided to pull out all the photographs I had of him from boyhood (I scanned all my mom's old photo albums last fall) through present time. We have taken a lot of trips together as a family, so I have some amazing and fun pictures of my Uncle! I spent 4 hours one day doing this - collecting all the digital photos of my uncle, in preparation for creating the slideshow for his birthday party.

It took 4 hours to pull out all the photographs, and I had a LOT of pictures. I started to stress a bit about how long it would take me to go through all the photos, whittle them down to a manageable amount, organize and sequence them, and make them into a slide show. I have some major work projects going on in my life at present, and I'm getting ready to go on an extended business trip. I started to feel a bit deflated, because I just didn't think I'd have the time to pull this slideshow together for my uncle. I was disappointed.

I swear to you that what I'm about to tell you is the truth!

The day after I spent the 4 hours pulling the photographs together, and started to doubt my ability to find the time to create a slideshow, I got a phone call from the woman who was hosting the party for my uncle. She's one of his step-daughters. She called to say that SHE was making a slideshow of David's life, set to music, to show at the party, and was wondering if I had any photos to contribute!!!!

I was completely shocked and amazed, although at this point in my life I shouldn't be amazed when this sort of thing happens.

She was going to do it! I had already done the time consuming part that would fulfil her request! I had already pulled out every photograph I have of my uncle... in digital form! All I had to do was burn her a CD and send it off in the mail!

What was particularly wonderful about this, is that I tend to have a bit of that, "If I don't do it... know one else will" martyrdom in my personality! This was such a great example that when there is a need that I can't handle on my own, if I step aside, someone else will step in to take care of things! We never know how (or who) might help us achieve our goal.

The hostess of our party not only threw a magnificent affair, but she put together a brilliant slide show for my uncle! We watched it on her big screen TV... and were all just blown away. She also burned DVDs for everyone at the party, so we could all take a copy home. She did even more than I would have thought to do.

Take a look at how you might try to 'do it all' yourself, and be willing to entertain the possibility that help just might be available to you, if you open yourself up to it.

I learned a very important lesson in this photo slide show experience!

Celebrating Life!

2010-03-15T00:05:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a truly great one. Our family pulled off an incredible surprise party for my wonderful Uncle David. He turns 80 this month (although you would never believe it... not for a single second... if you saw him!)

For months we've been plotting and planning this event. We've all been fibbing to David to keep the big secret.

Around 60 people gathered to surprise him and celebrate an amazing and wonderful man.

It was another of those times in life that I was reminded of how wonderful it is to surround yourself with a loving and supportive community (whether they are blood related or not.)

We spend the entire day enjoying each other's company... telling stories... laughing... crying a little and just having a blast!

Sometimes our blood families can be difficult, but we can always create a 'family of choice.' I'm lucky that, for the most part, my family (on both sides) is part of my 'family of choice.'

Here are a couple photos of our fun, fun day!!

The birthday boy himself!

My mom with her siblings- we miss you Uncle Milam!!

My niece, mom and me

Me with my brother and some of my cousins