Here we are five years after the US invasion of Iraq. It is hard to know what to believe about the 'progress' of the US 'goals' in Iraq. Bush and his crew say we're 'succeeding.' I hold a different view, based more on the perspectives of people I know in that part of the world who understand the grim reality of what the Iraqi people endure on a daily basis. Their world looks very different than it did 5 years ago. True, Saddam Hussein is gone. Quality of life, however, has not necessarily improved, and in many cases has diminished. I felt this article did a nice job of painting the picture about ordinary people's lives in Iraq.
******************************************************
5 Years After Iraq's 'Liberation,' There are Worms in the WaterBy Hannah Allam, McClatchy Newspapers
Sun Mar 16, 6:00 AM ET
BAGHDAD — Iraq's most prominent clerics have ruled that using a water pump on one's own pipes is akin to stealing resources from a neighbor, so what does a person do when it takes half an hour to fill a cooking pot with water from the tap?
Iraqis pray for forgiveness, then pump away.
To them, the real crime is that five years after the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq , they still swelter in the summer and freeze in the winter because of a lack of electricity. Government rations are inevitably late, incomplete or expired. Garbage piles up for days, sometimes weeks, emanating toxic fumes.
The list goes on: black-market fuel, phone bills for land lines that haven't worked in years, education and health-care systems degraded by the flight of thousands of Iraq's best teachers and doctors.
When the Iraqi government announced that 2008 would be "the year of services," workaday Iraqis had their doubts.
"Under Saddam's regime, we had limited salaries but we had security and decent services. Now, we have decent incomes but we lose it all to water, propane, groceries, fuel. We save nothing," said Balqis Kareem , 46, a Sunni Muslim housewife who lives in the predominantly Shiite Muslim district of Karrada. "This government gives with the right hand and takes away with the left."
At Kareem's modest, single-story home, a wall in the living room sprouts a tangle of electrical wires, a reflection of the three power sources she juggles throughout the day: the government's supply, her own small generator and the neighborhood's larger generator. Even so, for five years she hasn't been able to keep milk or meat in the refrigerator for more than a few hours because it spoils so quickly in the daily blackouts.
A kitchen cupboard holds a barely touched box of rationed tea, which Kareem described as "so bitter no amount of sugar can sweeten it." She said that she'd once used a magnet to clean metallic flakes from a bag of government-supplied rice. She barred her four children from drinking tap water after she found worms floating in a glass she'd poured.
The family's home phone rarely works, though earlier this month a worker from the phone company showed up demanding payment for calls that they both knew she hadn't made. Like so many employees of government utilities, he wanted a bribe.
"I just got to the point and told him, 'Don't waste my time. How much do you want?' " Kareem said. "He told me, I paid him and then went on with my day. I'm practical."
As another scorching summer approaches, everyone has to improvise to find electricity. Those who can't afford generators have to grease the meter men to look the other way as they splice wires and steal more than their permitted amount of power. At most, they'll be able to run a TV set, a couple of fluorescent bulbs and maybe the water pump. Of course, that's only when the electricity is on— never more than five hours a day and typically closer to two.
A popular joke here goes that a distraught boy approached his mother and sobbed that his father had touched a live wire and was electrocuted, to which the mother replied, "Thank God! There's electricity!"
When a reporter asked the official spokesman Ali Dabbagh how the Iraqi government could restore faith in its leaders' promises of services, he hung up the phone, offended at the question.
"Anyone who says that solving the services issue will take two or three years is exaggerating. Iraqi cities need years of work and billions of dollars," said Sadiq al Rikabi , a political adviser to Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki . "The destruction that we inherited, which was increased by terrorism, makes the suffering of Iraqis very difficult. Ending this needs time and effort, but the prime minister is determined to start the work and, God willing, Iraqis will feel the improvement in the coming few months."
Adil Hameed , a senior adviser to the minister of electricity, defended his embattled employer, listing a number of setbacks to power production that range from the devastating looting of a main control center in the early days of the U.S.-led invasion to the shortages in Baghdad caused by populous southern provinces using far more than their allotted share of electricity.
This year's electrical infrastructure-improvement budget of $1.4 billion is half of what it would take to make a dent in the problem, Hameed said. Yet there have been modest gains: a month-old operations room that reports directly to the prime minister, the deployment of U.S. forces to protect electricity facilities and a stepped-up search for international companies to build power plants.
"We're now producing at about 50 percent, but the people get only about 25 percent of their needs because we use nearly half the production to supply Iraqi infrastructure such as hospitals and government departments," Hameed said, adding that he expected outages to increase as usual during the summer.
Increasingly, Iraqis are relying on militias and other armed groups to fill the services void. Stories abound of neighborhood militiamen commandeering power plants and forcing terrified engineers to flip the switches even during government blackouts, turning militants into heroes and further undermining the unpopular Maliki administration.
In some poor areas of Baghdad , militias or Iranian-backed charities have become the main source of propane tanks, food staples, garbage collection and other services that the government should provide.
"They always talk, but nothing is tangible so far," Karam Hussein , 60, a Shiite retiree, said of the government. He lives in Baghdad's Shaab neighborhood, which is mostly under the control of the Mahdi Army militia. "On the contrary, when they talk, things always get worse. It's better if they just stop talking."
In the hardscrabble, mostly Shiite neighborhood of Shohada, 67-year-old Hani Abdel Hussein is desperately trying to sell the family home in hopes of moving to an area with better services. Damage from a stray mortar shell that plunged through the roof isn't the only deterrent for buyers, however.
Trash collection is so sporadic that residents tie up their garbage in plastic bags and fling them onto a reeking pile at the end of the street. Electricity is mainly from a private generator, and water shortages have forced Abdel Hussein to shower at a public bathhouse in another neighborhood.
His land line has been dead for the past three years, though he recently received a bill for about $70 .
"If the phone actually worked, I'd be happy to pay today," the soft-spoken father of three said. "I don't believe it's that hard for the government to bring back services. But they had 50 sessions of parliament just to remove the stars from the flag. I guess they're too busy."
( McClatchy special correspondents Laith Hammoudi and Jinan Hussein contributed to this article from Baghdad .)
Links to article:
5 years after Iraq's 'liberation,' there are worms in the water
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Address the Mess!
Today I did something that seemed relatively minor, took no time at all, and yet it radically transformed my closet!
I have a fairly large, walk in closet. In the middle of the closet is an island table with shoe shelves underneath it.
I have not seen the top of that table in over a year. It is always stacked high with laundry that has not been put away or hung up. Every time I enter my closet I have a feeling of overwhelm and chaos!
Yet, interestingly enough, it's never been high on my priority list to clean it up. I've just 'lived with it' and thought I'd get around to straightening it out some other time.
Today was the day! I just started putting things away and before I knew it I was looking at a spanking clean table top! I found articles of clothing I forgot I had! I also located some items that had been misplaced since last summer. It felt so good to find those things and get them put where they were supposed to be!
It is actually a little disorienting to walk in there now. It looks like a completely different place!
I find it interesting that for as long and as much as this has 'bothered' me, I never felt super motivated or driven to take care of it. I just got comfortable with the chaos and the disorganization. It felt normal to me, even though I didn't like it.
I think this is a fairly common experience in life. We get comfortable in 'the mess' and establish a new normal. We 'tolerate' the discomfort and often allow it to grow and magnify. This is how little problems turn into big problems. In a way, we stop seeing a problem and that allows it to grow unchecked.
The closet experience reminded me of this phenomenon. I intend to do some life scouring now and look for other 'messes' that I have become 'comfortable' with. It is pretty incredible that a closet can be such a teacher.
I keep walking in there, turning on the light, and smiling to myself. It feels good to address the mess!
Got any 'messes' that need attention in your life? It might take less energy than you think to whip it into shape and clean it up!
I have a fairly large, walk in closet. In the middle of the closet is an island table with shoe shelves underneath it.
I have not seen the top of that table in over a year. It is always stacked high with laundry that has not been put away or hung up. Every time I enter my closet I have a feeling of overwhelm and chaos!
Yet, interestingly enough, it's never been high on my priority list to clean it up. I've just 'lived with it' and thought I'd get around to straightening it out some other time.
Today was the day! I just started putting things away and before I knew it I was looking at a spanking clean table top! I found articles of clothing I forgot I had! I also located some items that had been misplaced since last summer. It felt so good to find those things and get them put where they were supposed to be!
It is actually a little disorienting to walk in there now. It looks like a completely different place!
I find it interesting that for as long and as much as this has 'bothered' me, I never felt super motivated or driven to take care of it. I just got comfortable with the chaos and the disorganization. It felt normal to me, even though I didn't like it.
I think this is a fairly common experience in life. We get comfortable in 'the mess' and establish a new normal. We 'tolerate' the discomfort and often allow it to grow and magnify. This is how little problems turn into big problems. In a way, we stop seeing a problem and that allows it to grow unchecked.
The closet experience reminded me of this phenomenon. I intend to do some life scouring now and look for other 'messes' that I have become 'comfortable' with. It is pretty incredible that a closet can be such a teacher.
I keep walking in there, turning on the light, and smiling to myself. It feels good to address the mess!
Got any 'messes' that need attention in your life? It might take less energy than you think to whip it into shape and clean it up!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Taking the Waters
I just returned from a trip to San Francisco and Calistoga California. Calistoga is a quaint little town that has a claim to fame: boiling hot mineral water from geyers. The mineral water is bottled and sold. You can also go to a number of resorts and 'take the waters.'
I stayed at one such resort for a few days with a friend. We spent a lot of hours floating in the mineral water filled pool - allowing the nurturing minerals to sooth and heal us. It was quite an experience.
I also had my first mud bath. ANother activity meant to detoxify the system and infuse it with healing waters. I've never been coated in super hot mud before. It felt wonderful, and you could just feel the mud drawing out all sorts of toxins during the 15 minute episode. After the mud bath and washing away the muddy coating, a 15 minute soak in a tub of mineral water infuses the skin with nourishment. A steam bath of vapors from the nautral geyser is the last heat related part of the treatment. Then one rests on a comfortable bed wrapped in soft sheets for the 'cool down.'
I was fortunate enough to have two of these mud bath treatments and to soak in the olympic sized swimming pool filled with mineral water for many hours.
I came home with a dedication to the process of the purification of my system on an ongoing basis. We don't need to travel to Calistoga to detox and purify our bodies, minds and spirits. A bathtub will do. A shower can also be very effective. It all boils down to intention.
As I soaked in the mud, mineral water and steam, I visualized myself releasing all toxins: physical, mental and emotional. With each bead of persperation, I felt myself letting go of all that I no longer needed - at every level of my being.
Intention is a powerful force. We can make use of it anywhere and anytime to radically alter our life experiences.
There is no reason why each bath or shower we take cannot be an opportunity to release toxins and soak in the nourishment that water has to offer.
Give some thought to this the next time you shower or take a bath. It just might turn an ordinary experience into an extraordinary one!
I stayed at one such resort for a few days with a friend. We spent a lot of hours floating in the mineral water filled pool - allowing the nurturing minerals to sooth and heal us. It was quite an experience.
I also had my first mud bath. ANother activity meant to detoxify the system and infuse it with healing waters. I've never been coated in super hot mud before. It felt wonderful, and you could just feel the mud drawing out all sorts of toxins during the 15 minute episode. After the mud bath and washing away the muddy coating, a 15 minute soak in a tub of mineral water infuses the skin with nourishment. A steam bath of vapors from the nautral geyser is the last heat related part of the treatment. Then one rests on a comfortable bed wrapped in soft sheets for the 'cool down.'
I was fortunate enough to have two of these mud bath treatments and to soak in the olympic sized swimming pool filled with mineral water for many hours.
I came home with a dedication to the process of the purification of my system on an ongoing basis. We don't need to travel to Calistoga to detox and purify our bodies, minds and spirits. A bathtub will do. A shower can also be very effective. It all boils down to intention.
As I soaked in the mud, mineral water and steam, I visualized myself releasing all toxins: physical, mental and emotional. With each bead of persperation, I felt myself letting go of all that I no longer needed - at every level of my being.
Intention is a powerful force. We can make use of it anywhere and anytime to radically alter our life experiences.
There is no reason why each bath or shower we take cannot be an opportunity to release toxins and soak in the nourishment that water has to offer.
Give some thought to this the next time you shower or take a bath. It just might turn an ordinary experience into an extraordinary one!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Without Chlorine Gazans Must Boil Water
This is another re post. As we in this country enjoy our daily conveniences of free flowing water and electricity, let's remember that there are others in this world of ours who don't share those same benefits.
There are so many people in the world who do not have access to clean, safe drinking water or predictable fuel sources or electricity. Those in Gaza, Iraq and many other places around the world live with hardships we will probably never know. In some ways, we contribute to those hardships, and we should be aware of the ways in which we do. We might be oblivious to it, but others in the world are not. It is one of the reasons why America is so unpopular throughout the world at this point in time.
This is a heartbreaking story about the water problems in Gaza:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080227/ap_on_re_mi_ea/gaza_water_alert_1
Without Chlorine Gazans Must Boil Water
By IBRAHIM BARZAK, Associated Press Writer
Wed Feb 27, 12:51 PM ET
GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - The Gaza Strip has run short of chlorine because of an Israeli blockade and its 1.5 million people should start boiling their drinking water to purify it, the territory's water utility said Wednesday.
The Coastal Municipality Water Utility made the announcement in radio and newspaper advertisements, telling residents that the blockade has left Gaza without enough equipment and supplies needed to maintain the water system. Officials said there have been no deliveries of chlorine, needed to purify the water, since Jan. 21. More than one-third of Gaza's water supply is now untreated, said Maher Najjar, deputy director of the utility.
Najjar said 52 of 140 wells used to supply water to Gaza residents were out of chlorine. "I expect by the week's end all the wells will run dry of chlorine," he said.
The authority said there is a "major concern over a health disaster due to possible contamination of the drinking water" and appealed to the international community for help.
The Israeli military said the Palestinians did not make a request for chlorine until Wednesday, and it was urgently trying to arrange a new shipment into Gaza.
Most residents already don't have regular water supplies because of a shortage of fuel used to pump water. Many people already use filters or bottled water because the quality of tap water is generally poor.
Israel imposed sanctions on Gaza after the Islamic militant Hamas seized power last June. Israel has tightened its blockade in recent weeks in response to repeated rocket attacks on southern Israel by Gaza militants.
On Wednesday, an Israeli student was killed in a rocket barrage on a college just outside Gaza, after seven Palestinians, including five Hamas militants, were killed in Israeli airstrikes.
Under the sanctions, Israel, the main gateway for Gaza's imports and exports, has allowed little more than basic humanitarian goods to enter the territory. It also has reduced fuel and electricity supplies to Gaza.
Most Gaza residents who can afford to do so filter Gaza's salty, brackish tap water before drinking it. However, that does not kill the bacteria, Najjar said.
He said the real danger were children drinking untreated water.
"I can't stop people drinking the water," Najjar said.
In an area used to shortages and hardship, residents did not seem especially panicked.
"For 16 years I've been boiling the water," said Mohammed Masoud, a restaurant owner. "I'm not worried about the poison in the water — everything here is already poisonous," Masoud said.
A Palestinian boy drinks from a water tap as others wait to fill up water containers in Khan Younis in the southern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2008. The Gaza Strip's water provider on Wednesday urged the area's 1.5 million people to boil their drinking water, citing a dire shortage of chlorine as a result of an Israeli economic blockade. The chlorine shortage is another addition to Gaza's water woes. Most residents don't have regular water supplies because of a shortage of diesel, used to pump water.
(AP Photo/ Eyad Baba)
There are so many people in the world who do not have access to clean, safe drinking water or predictable fuel sources or electricity. Those in Gaza, Iraq and many other places around the world live with hardships we will probably never know. In some ways, we contribute to those hardships, and we should be aware of the ways in which we do. We might be oblivious to it, but others in the world are not. It is one of the reasons why America is so unpopular throughout the world at this point in time.
This is a heartbreaking story about the water problems in Gaza:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080227/ap_on_re_mi_ea/gaza_water_alert_1
Without Chlorine Gazans Must Boil Water
By IBRAHIM BARZAK, Associated Press Writer
Wed Feb 27, 12:51 PM ET
GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - The Gaza Strip has run short of chlorine because of an Israeli blockade and its 1.5 million people should start boiling their drinking water to purify it, the territory's water utility said Wednesday.
The Coastal Municipality Water Utility made the announcement in radio and newspaper advertisements, telling residents that the blockade has left Gaza without enough equipment and supplies needed to maintain the water system. Officials said there have been no deliveries of chlorine, needed to purify the water, since Jan. 21. More than one-third of Gaza's water supply is now untreated, said Maher Najjar, deputy director of the utility.
Najjar said 52 of 140 wells used to supply water to Gaza residents were out of chlorine. "I expect by the week's end all the wells will run dry of chlorine," he said.
The authority said there is a "major concern over a health disaster due to possible contamination of the drinking water" and appealed to the international community for help.
The Israeli military said the Palestinians did not make a request for chlorine until Wednesday, and it was urgently trying to arrange a new shipment into Gaza.
Most residents already don't have regular water supplies because of a shortage of fuel used to pump water. Many people already use filters or bottled water because the quality of tap water is generally poor.
Israel imposed sanctions on Gaza after the Islamic militant Hamas seized power last June. Israel has tightened its blockade in recent weeks in response to repeated rocket attacks on southern Israel by Gaza militants.
On Wednesday, an Israeli student was killed in a rocket barrage on a college just outside Gaza, after seven Palestinians, including five Hamas militants, were killed in Israeli airstrikes.
Under the sanctions, Israel, the main gateway for Gaza's imports and exports, has allowed little more than basic humanitarian goods to enter the territory. It also has reduced fuel and electricity supplies to Gaza.
Most Gaza residents who can afford to do so filter Gaza's salty, brackish tap water before drinking it. However, that does not kill the bacteria, Najjar said.
He said the real danger were children drinking untreated water.
"I can't stop people drinking the water," Najjar said.
In an area used to shortages and hardship, residents did not seem especially panicked.
"For 16 years I've been boiling the water," said Mohammed Masoud, a restaurant owner. "I'm not worried about the poison in the water — everything here is already poisonous," Masoud said.
A Palestinian boy drinks from a water tap as others wait to fill up water containers in Khan Younis in the southern Gaza Strip, Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2008. The Gaza Strip's water provider on Wednesday urged the area's 1.5 million people to boil their drinking water, citing a dire shortage of chlorine as a result of an Israeli economic blockade. The chlorine shortage is another addition to Gaza's water woes. Most residents don't have regular water supplies because of a shortage of diesel, used to pump water.
(AP Photo/ Eyad Baba)
Monday, March 10, 2008
An Israeli and a Gazan Blog for Peace
I felt that this was a worthy repost, given all the dreadful news coming out of Israel and Palestine. This is a bright spot in a dark field.
I applaud these brave men. Check out their blog at: http://gaza-sderot.blogspot.com/
May the world see more and more like them... among us all.
All things are possible....
An Israeli and a Gazan Blog for Peace
By Josh Mitnick
Thu Mar 6, 3:00 AM ET
Sderot, Israel - It's a friendship that spans the poles of the Israeli-Palestinian war zone – this southern Israeli border town and a Gaza refugee camp about 10 miles away.
The two men have not seen each other in about a year. But they are now reunited in the blogosphere, writing a joint diary to stave off their own despair and prove that a dialogue is still possible across the divide.
Titled, "Life must go on in Gaza and Sderot," the pair rants in (uneven) English about the seeming futility about the Hamas-Israeli hostilities, the daily stress of surviving the violence, and the loneliness of optimists.
"Peace man," an unemployed bachelor who resides in Gaza's Sajaiya refugee camp, blogs between Gaza's power outages and complains of insomnia from the constant overflights of Israeli attack helicopters.
"Hope man," a software programmer whose Sderot house has been buffeted on all sides by Qassam rockets, worries about being away from his kids – who are at school – when the next rockets fall.
"We decided we wanted to come out to the world, and to show that there other types of relationships between Palestinians in Gaza and Israelis in Sderot, not only rockets and violence," says the Sderot blogger. "Even though things are really awful, it's to show there can be a true connection."
On Wednesday, under pressure from US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas announced he would resume talks with Israel after a suspension earlier this week in protest over the killing of more than 100 Palestinians in Gaza.
On the eve of Ms. Rice's visit, Hope Man said he had low expectations that her talks would yield a permanent halt to the cross-border violence. "I don't think anyone has a clue about how to get out of this bind."
Started in January, the Israeli-Palestinian blog team http://gaza-sderot.blogspot.com/ posts about every other day and they try to steer clear of political debate. The entries include first-person accounts of dodging Qassam rockets, shopping for scarce goods in Gaza's markets, the frustrating search for like-minded Israelis and Palestinians, and a mantra-like appeal for a stop to the violence.
Afraid their public conversation may be seen as disloyal by their countrymen, they assiduously guard their true identities. The Gaza blogger says in a phone interview that some of his friends who know about the blog have expressed concern for his well-being.
The fighting of the past week, some of the worst in years, has made it almost impossible for Gazans to openly speak of peaceful relations with Israelis, even if it's only in cyberspace. "They say it's dangerous and that some groups don't like this," says Peace Man. "In Gaza, nothing is clear."
In Israel, too, where the firing of hundreds of Qassam rockets resulted in one fatality last week, there is hostility toward those who openly talk to Palestinians. "Who's that traitor that's writing that damned blog," Liron Amir, an Israeli sitting at a pizza restaurant in Sderot, replies when asked about the blog. "He should go live with them. We don't want any connection with them."
The bloggers met about two years ago through an Israeli-Arab dialogue group sponsored by the Center for Emerging Future in Boise, Idaho, which obtained Israeli army permits for Peace Man to cross into Israel to attend dialogue meetings in Jerusalem and Sderot.
Danny Gal, the Israeli coordinator for the center, said the group encourages Israelis and Palestinians to set up joint peace ventures.
They originally hoped to establish a joint summer camp for kids from Sderot and Gaza, but since the Hamas takeover of the Gaza Strip, Israeli border permits have become very difficult to obtain unless it's for medical care. Though they continued to speak on the phone frequently, the frustrated pair decided to take their conversation online.
In the same way that blogs have experienced popularity as an alternative to mainstream news reports, a desire to "correct" the portrayal of the conflict in both Israeli and Palestinian media is another purpose of the blog, says the Sderot blogger.
"If you turn on Channel 1 in Israel, you will not see a balanced picture. That's understandable. I'm not blaming anyone. We're just trying to represent our reality," says Hope Man.
"There's a tendency of the media – especially when there's an escalation – not to say things that are against the mainstream or the policy of the government. They try to show solidarity with policy."
Talking by cellphone from his Gaza home, over the background thump of Israeli helicopters, Peace Man says that hope for peace among Gazans has nose-dived ever since Middle East leaders gathered in Annapolis, Md., to announce the resumption of peace negotiations.
Desperate for a respite from the violence, the blogging pair recently started calling for a one-month truce in the fighting, which they say will give a chance for the anger to ease on each side and for leaders to think creatively about searching for a solution.
"We just need a breather," says Hope Man. "We may be a little naive, but its better than sitting around and waiting for everything to destruct around us."
Link to article: An Israeli and a Gazan blog for peace
I applaud these brave men. Check out their blog at: http://gaza-sderot.blogspot.com/
May the world see more and more like them... among us all.
All things are possible....
An Israeli and a Gazan Blog for Peace
By Josh Mitnick
Thu Mar 6, 3:00 AM ET
Sderot, Israel - It's a friendship that spans the poles of the Israeli-Palestinian war zone – this southern Israeli border town and a Gaza refugee camp about 10 miles away.
The two men have not seen each other in about a year. But they are now reunited in the blogosphere, writing a joint diary to stave off their own despair and prove that a dialogue is still possible across the divide.
Titled, "Life must go on in Gaza and Sderot," the pair rants in (uneven) English about the seeming futility about the Hamas-Israeli hostilities, the daily stress of surviving the violence, and the loneliness of optimists.
"Peace man," an unemployed bachelor who resides in Gaza's Sajaiya refugee camp, blogs between Gaza's power outages and complains of insomnia from the constant overflights of Israeli attack helicopters.
"Hope man," a software programmer whose Sderot house has been buffeted on all sides by Qassam rockets, worries about being away from his kids – who are at school – when the next rockets fall.
"We decided we wanted to come out to the world, and to show that there other types of relationships between Palestinians in Gaza and Israelis in Sderot, not only rockets and violence," says the Sderot blogger. "Even though things are really awful, it's to show there can be a true connection."
On Wednesday, under pressure from US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas announced he would resume talks with Israel after a suspension earlier this week in protest over the killing of more than 100 Palestinians in Gaza.
On the eve of Ms. Rice's visit, Hope Man said he had low expectations that her talks would yield a permanent halt to the cross-border violence. "I don't think anyone has a clue about how to get out of this bind."
Started in January, the Israeli-Palestinian blog team http://gaza-sderot.blogspot.com/ posts about every other day and they try to steer clear of political debate. The entries include first-person accounts of dodging Qassam rockets, shopping for scarce goods in Gaza's markets, the frustrating search for like-minded Israelis and Palestinians, and a mantra-like appeal for a stop to the violence.
Afraid their public conversation may be seen as disloyal by their countrymen, they assiduously guard their true identities. The Gaza blogger says in a phone interview that some of his friends who know about the blog have expressed concern for his well-being.
The fighting of the past week, some of the worst in years, has made it almost impossible for Gazans to openly speak of peaceful relations with Israelis, even if it's only in cyberspace. "They say it's dangerous and that some groups don't like this," says Peace Man. "In Gaza, nothing is clear."
In Israel, too, where the firing of hundreds of Qassam rockets resulted in one fatality last week, there is hostility toward those who openly talk to Palestinians. "Who's that traitor that's writing that damned blog," Liron Amir, an Israeli sitting at a pizza restaurant in Sderot, replies when asked about the blog. "He should go live with them. We don't want any connection with them."
The bloggers met about two years ago through an Israeli-Arab dialogue group sponsored by the Center for Emerging Future in Boise, Idaho, which obtained Israeli army permits for Peace Man to cross into Israel to attend dialogue meetings in Jerusalem and Sderot.
Danny Gal, the Israeli coordinator for the center, said the group encourages Israelis and Palestinians to set up joint peace ventures.
They originally hoped to establish a joint summer camp for kids from Sderot and Gaza, but since the Hamas takeover of the Gaza Strip, Israeli border permits have become very difficult to obtain unless it's for medical care. Though they continued to speak on the phone frequently, the frustrated pair decided to take their conversation online.
In the same way that blogs have experienced popularity as an alternative to mainstream news reports, a desire to "correct" the portrayal of the conflict in both Israeli and Palestinian media is another purpose of the blog, says the Sderot blogger.
"If you turn on Channel 1 in Israel, you will not see a balanced picture. That's understandable. I'm not blaming anyone. We're just trying to represent our reality," says Hope Man.
"There's a tendency of the media – especially when there's an escalation – not to say things that are against the mainstream or the policy of the government. They try to show solidarity with policy."
Talking by cellphone from his Gaza home, over the background thump of Israeli helicopters, Peace Man says that hope for peace among Gazans has nose-dived ever since Middle East leaders gathered in Annapolis, Md., to announce the resumption of peace negotiations.
Desperate for a respite from the violence, the blogging pair recently started calling for a one-month truce in the fighting, which they say will give a chance for the anger to ease on each side and for leaders to think creatively about searching for a solution.
"We just need a breather," says Hope Man. "We may be a little naive, but its better than sitting around and waiting for everything to destruct around us."
Link to article: An Israeli and a Gazan blog for peace
Friday, March 07, 2008
Violence Begets Violence
I'm sad today. So many horrible things are happening in the middle east. I've been watching the developments in the Gaza strip for quite some time. The people there are suffering... dying... silently. What has been happening there is despicable, criminal behavior on the part of the Israeli government.
Now, an Arab gunmen entered a Jewish rabbinical seminary yesterday in Jerusalem and shot and killed 8 people, injuring many more. This is also a despicable act. The seminary is heavily associated with the settlement movement in the westbank. (Meaning the process of 'settling' Jews in Palestinian territory for the purpose of expanding the territory claimed by Israel for it's state.) This is not important to the dead or the grieving, but it is important to understanding why it was selected as a target. Not a justification by any means.
The bottom line is that violence begets violence. It will never beget peace. Violence is never 'justified.' No matter who is doing it. No matter why they are doing it. No exceptions.
Acts of violence, whether by a Palestinian gunman shooting Jewish students in a library or bombs being dropped by the Israeli military on innocent Palestinian children in Gaza are equally barbaric.
The people celebrating the attack against the Jewish seminary in the streets of Gaza are people who have themselves been the victims of great violence at the hands of the Israeli military. They are acting from a distorted perspective - warped by oppression and violence.
The seminary students chanting 'death to Arabs' in the wake of the attack, suffer from the same delusion. They capitulate to their fear and anger and lash out at the perceived 'cause' of their suffering.
Both of these behaviors are sick and both contribute to perpetuating the very situations from which they seek to escape. Both reactions are primitive and primal.
Both reactions are 'understandable' from a 'human nature' level of reasoning, but both reactions are not going to resolve the underlying problem that exists: Fear, aggression, craving for power, a sense of entitlement, desperation, helplessness, hopelessness, anger, paranoia and fear of annihilation.
In reaction the shooting, Israel's Foreign Ministry said, "Israel expects the nations of the world to support it in its war against those who murder students, women and children, by any means and with respect for neither place nor target."
One person committed this crime and Israel's Foreign Minister wants the world to join it in a 'war' against the group to which this person belongs, with 'respect for neither place nor target.' This frightens and upsets me more than any of the other events. What human being could suggest that they have the right to act in a way with 'respect for neither place nor target?' It's is horrifying to me and it gets worse.
Condoleeza Rice said, "This barbarous act has no place among civilized peoples and shocks the conscience of all peace loving nations. There is no cause that could ever justify this action."
I agree with the statement that there is 'no cause that could ever justify this action' as it relates to the shooting. But, where Ms. Rice and I part company is that I feel the exact same way about the blockade of the Gaza strip that has caused near starvation and excruciating hardship for over a million people.
I also feel that way about the assault waged by Israel on the people of Gaza in the last week that has killed 120 people, at least half of them civilians. There is no cause that could ever justify this action.
They are equally abhorrent acts.
Until ALL forms of violence are viewed as equally abhorrent, we are trapped in a cycle of endless pain.
Israel needs to stop humiliating and controlling the Palestinian people. The Palestinian militants must realize that violence only makes it easier for the Israelis to hide their deplorable actions. Celebrating in the streets makes it easier for Israel to justify their aggression against the population as a whole. It doesn't help the cause of freeing the Palestinian people. It prolongs their agony.
Israelis and Palestinians should unite in denouncing ALL the violence that is occurring: the blockade of Gaza, the rocket fire into Israel from Gaza, the continued settlement activities by Israel (taking Palestinian land), attacks like the shooting in the seminary, preventing Palestinians from working and reaching medical aid, etc. ALL of it is equally deplorable.
All of these acts destroy the fabric of humanity.
Justice and peace will only come when all forms of violence are treated equally. Dropping a bomb on people is just as horrible as a suicide bomber blowing up a bus. There is no difference. Not in the eyes of God... and not in the eyes of civilized humanity.
Until we look at it this way, we are doomed to an endless cycle of pain and killing.
May we all wake up.
Now, an Arab gunmen entered a Jewish rabbinical seminary yesterday in Jerusalem and shot and killed 8 people, injuring many more. This is also a despicable act. The seminary is heavily associated with the settlement movement in the westbank. (Meaning the process of 'settling' Jews in Palestinian territory for the purpose of expanding the territory claimed by Israel for it's state.) This is not important to the dead or the grieving, but it is important to understanding why it was selected as a target. Not a justification by any means.
The bottom line is that violence begets violence. It will never beget peace. Violence is never 'justified.' No matter who is doing it. No matter why they are doing it. No exceptions.
Acts of violence, whether by a Palestinian gunman shooting Jewish students in a library or bombs being dropped by the Israeli military on innocent Palestinian children in Gaza are equally barbaric.
The people celebrating the attack against the Jewish seminary in the streets of Gaza are people who have themselves been the victims of great violence at the hands of the Israeli military. They are acting from a distorted perspective - warped by oppression and violence.
The seminary students chanting 'death to Arabs' in the wake of the attack, suffer from the same delusion. They capitulate to their fear and anger and lash out at the perceived 'cause' of their suffering.
Both of these behaviors are sick and both contribute to perpetuating the very situations from which they seek to escape. Both reactions are primitive and primal.
Both reactions are 'understandable' from a 'human nature' level of reasoning, but both reactions are not going to resolve the underlying problem that exists: Fear, aggression, craving for power, a sense of entitlement, desperation, helplessness, hopelessness, anger, paranoia and fear of annihilation.
In reaction the shooting, Israel's Foreign Ministry said, "Israel expects the nations of the world to support it in its war against those who murder students, women and children, by any means and with respect for neither place nor target."
One person committed this crime and Israel's Foreign Minister wants the world to join it in a 'war' against the group to which this person belongs, with 'respect for neither place nor target.' This frightens and upsets me more than any of the other events. What human being could suggest that they have the right to act in a way with 'respect for neither place nor target?' It's is horrifying to me and it gets worse.
Condoleeza Rice said, "This barbarous act has no place among civilized peoples and shocks the conscience of all peace loving nations. There is no cause that could ever justify this action."
I agree with the statement that there is 'no cause that could ever justify this action' as it relates to the shooting. But, where Ms. Rice and I part company is that I feel the exact same way about the blockade of the Gaza strip that has caused near starvation and excruciating hardship for over a million people.
I also feel that way about the assault waged by Israel on the people of Gaza in the last week that has killed 120 people, at least half of them civilians. There is no cause that could ever justify this action.
They are equally abhorrent acts.
Until ALL forms of violence are viewed as equally abhorrent, we are trapped in a cycle of endless pain.
Israel needs to stop humiliating and controlling the Palestinian people. The Palestinian militants must realize that violence only makes it easier for the Israelis to hide their deplorable actions. Celebrating in the streets makes it easier for Israel to justify their aggression against the population as a whole. It doesn't help the cause of freeing the Palestinian people. It prolongs their agony.
Israelis and Palestinians should unite in denouncing ALL the violence that is occurring: the blockade of Gaza, the rocket fire into Israel from Gaza, the continued settlement activities by Israel (taking Palestinian land), attacks like the shooting in the seminary, preventing Palestinians from working and reaching medical aid, etc. ALL of it is equally deplorable.
All of these acts destroy the fabric of humanity.
Justice and peace will only come when all forms of violence are treated equally. Dropping a bomb on people is just as horrible as a suicide bomber blowing up a bus. There is no difference. Not in the eyes of God... and not in the eyes of civilized humanity.
Until we look at it this way, we are doomed to an endless cycle of pain and killing.
May we all wake up.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Gaza in Severe Crisis
There are many horrible things happening to the people of the Gaza strip. The world is unaware of most what is happening there, but even when there is awareness, unfortunately, nothing is being done to stop the cruel oppression and mistreatment of these people. It is heart breaking.
Here is an article I feel is worth passing on to you. When the defenseless are being hurt and have no voice, we must be their voice. It is not OK for these people to be treated this way. It's simply not acceptable.
Israel is prone to drawing the timeline that justifies their actions to begin with an 'act' on the part of Palestinians as the starting point of problems. Isreal is always merely retaliating' or defending themselves. They never recognize or admit their part of creating the conditions for violence. This way of denying their responsibility (mainly the blockade of Gaza that is literally killing people there) will never bring peace. It may feel or even appear self righteous, but it will never bring peace.
I do not condone the firing of rockets into Israel from the Gaza strip. I do not condone the blockade of Gaza by the Israeli government, and I certainly do not condone the repeated Israeli attacks that have killed 120 people in Gaza over the past week.
Violence begets violence. There are many ways to be violent. Weapons are only one of those ways. Denying people medical care, electricity, food, water, freedom of movement and the ability to make a living are also acts of violence. Until they are viewed as such, there can be no peace.
I oppose all acts of violence, whatever their form.
Gaza in Severe Crisis
by ARON HELLER, Associated Press Writer
Wed Mar 5, 8:41 PM ET
Palestinian children look out from a window of their damaged house
after it was attacked late on Tuesday by Israeli forces, in the
central Gaza Strip March 5, 2008.
JERUSALEM - A human rights coalition charged Thursday that the humanitarian situation in the Gaza Strip has reached its worst point since Israel captured the territory in 1967.
In a scathing report, eight British-based rights organizations said that more than 1.1 million people, about 80 percent of Gaza's residents, are now dependent on food aid, as opposed to 63 percent in 2006. It said that overall unemployment is close to 40 percent.
It also said that hospitals are suffering from power cuts of up to 12 hours a day, and the water and sewage systems were close to collapse.
The report follows strident international condemnation of Israel after it struck hard against Palestinian militants in Gaza, killing more than 120 in the past week, including many civilians, after Palestinians militants escalated their daily rocket fire at Israel.
The Palestinian rockets have killed 13 people, wounded dozens more, traumatized thousands and caused millions of dollars in damage.
Israel's Defense Ministry rejected the report, blaming the militant Hamas rulers of Gaza for the hardships.
"The main responsibility for events in Gaza — since the withdrawal of Israel from the territory and the uprooting of the settlements there — is the Hamas organization, to which all complaints should be addressed," read a statement by spokesman, Maj. Peter Lerner.
Amnesty International UK Director Kate Allen said Israel must protect its citizens, "but as the occupying power in Gaza it also has a legal duty to ensure that Gazans have access to food, clean water, electricity and medical care."
Israel removed all 21 settlements and withdrew its forces from Gaza in 2005. Israel maintains that ended its occupation, but rights groups say that since Israel still controls Gaza's land, sea and air access, it is still the occupier.
After Hamas militants seized control of Gaza in June, Israel closed its crossings, allowing only shipments of vital goods into Gaza.
The 16-page report — sponsored by Amnesty, along with CARE International UK, CAFOD, Christian Aid, Medecins du Monde UK, Oxfam, Save the Children UK and Trocaire — calls on the British government to exert greater pressure on Israel and to reverse its policy on not negotiating with Gaza's Hamas rulers.
Israel and the West shun Hamas and label it a terrorist organization. Hamas does not accept the presence of a Jewish state.
Replying to the report, Israel's Defense Ministry said it was misdirected.
The Israeli Defense Ministry also said medicines and medical equipment are shipped into Gaza with no limitation. On Wednesday, a typical day, the military said it allowed 69 truckloads of supplies into Gaza, including basic food and baby formula.
This week NGO Monitor, a Jerusalem-based watchdog, called on human rights groups to end what it called their political use of international law. It cited an Amnesty International press release that it said made unsubstantiated accusations that Israeli responses "are being carried out with reckless disregard for civilian life".
___
Link to article: Gaza in severe Crisis
Here is an article I feel is worth passing on to you. When the defenseless are being hurt and have no voice, we must be their voice. It is not OK for these people to be treated this way. It's simply not acceptable.
Israel is prone to drawing the timeline that justifies their actions to begin with an 'act' on the part of Palestinians as the starting point of problems. Isreal is always merely retaliating' or defending themselves. They never recognize or admit their part of creating the conditions for violence. This way of denying their responsibility (mainly the blockade of Gaza that is literally killing people there) will never bring peace. It may feel or even appear self righteous, but it will never bring peace.
I do not condone the firing of rockets into Israel from the Gaza strip. I do not condone the blockade of Gaza by the Israeli government, and I certainly do not condone the repeated Israeli attacks that have killed 120 people in Gaza over the past week.
Violence begets violence. There are many ways to be violent. Weapons are only one of those ways. Denying people medical care, electricity, food, water, freedom of movement and the ability to make a living are also acts of violence. Until they are viewed as such, there can be no peace.
I oppose all acts of violence, whatever their form.
Gaza in Severe Crisis
by ARON HELLER, Associated Press Writer
Wed Mar 5, 8:41 PM ET
Palestinian children look out from a window of their damaged house
after it was attacked late on Tuesday by Israeli forces, in the
central Gaza Strip March 5, 2008.
JERUSALEM - A human rights coalition charged Thursday that the humanitarian situation in the Gaza Strip has reached its worst point since Israel captured the territory in 1967.
In a scathing report, eight British-based rights organizations said that more than 1.1 million people, about 80 percent of Gaza's residents, are now dependent on food aid, as opposed to 63 percent in 2006. It said that overall unemployment is close to 40 percent.
It also said that hospitals are suffering from power cuts of up to 12 hours a day, and the water and sewage systems were close to collapse.
The report follows strident international condemnation of Israel after it struck hard against Palestinian militants in Gaza, killing more than 120 in the past week, including many civilians, after Palestinians militants escalated their daily rocket fire at Israel.
The Palestinian rockets have killed 13 people, wounded dozens more, traumatized thousands and caused millions of dollars in damage.
Israel's Defense Ministry rejected the report, blaming the militant Hamas rulers of Gaza for the hardships.
"The main responsibility for events in Gaza — since the withdrawal of Israel from the territory and the uprooting of the settlements there — is the Hamas organization, to which all complaints should be addressed," read a statement by spokesman, Maj. Peter Lerner.
Amnesty International UK Director Kate Allen said Israel must protect its citizens, "but as the occupying power in Gaza it also has a legal duty to ensure that Gazans have access to food, clean water, electricity and medical care."
Israel removed all 21 settlements and withdrew its forces from Gaza in 2005. Israel maintains that ended its occupation, but rights groups say that since Israel still controls Gaza's land, sea and air access, it is still the occupier.
After Hamas militants seized control of Gaza in June, Israel closed its crossings, allowing only shipments of vital goods into Gaza.
The 16-page report — sponsored by Amnesty, along with CARE International UK, CAFOD, Christian Aid, Medecins du Monde UK, Oxfam, Save the Children UK and Trocaire — calls on the British government to exert greater pressure on Israel and to reverse its policy on not negotiating with Gaza's Hamas rulers.
Israel and the West shun Hamas and label it a terrorist organization. Hamas does not accept the presence of a Jewish state.
Replying to the report, Israel's Defense Ministry said it was misdirected.
The Israeli Defense Ministry also said medicines and medical equipment are shipped into Gaza with no limitation. On Wednesday, a typical day, the military said it allowed 69 truckloads of supplies into Gaza, including basic food and baby formula.
This week NGO Monitor, a Jerusalem-based watchdog, called on human rights groups to end what it called their political use of international law. It cited an Amnesty International press release that it said made unsubstantiated accusations that Israeli responses "are being carried out with reckless disregard for civilian life".
___
Link to article: Gaza in severe Crisis
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
In Memory of Jack Boland
March 4th, 1992 was the transition date for one of the primary spiritual teachers in my life, Jack Boland.
I met Jack Boland in 1987 when I moved to Detroit Michigan to work as a systems engineer. It was a huge move for me to leave my beloved Pacific Northwest for the Midwest and bid my friends and family farewell. I was alone in Southfield Michigan, except for one friend from college who had gone to work for the same company.
I often say that my move to Michigan was for two primary reasons: to meet and learn from Jack Boland, and to be united with my kitty soul mate, McKenzie.
Jack Boland was the founder and senior minister of the Church of Today in Warren Michigan. Church of Today (now known as Renaissance Unity) is a Unity Church. When I went to the church for the first time, I felt as though I was listening to my teacher and mentor Dr. Charles Bruni. I knew I had found another spiritual teacher in Jack Boland. He has had, and continues to have, a profound impact on my life.
Jack had an enthusiasm and a clarity about life that I've never experienced in another person. Nothing every swayed him from his understanding of Spiritual Principle and Universal Truth. He was a master teacher.
Jack could have been a stand up comedian! He had such a great sense of humor and was extremely skilled at getting people to look at themselves and their challenges with compassion and humor.
I've never known anyone with such a gentle and loving disposition. Although I didn't know him personally, you could feel his authentic and genuine warmth when you listened to him speak.
I had to drive an hour each way to attend Jack's church. I did that every Sunday (and sometimes on Wednesday nights) for the entire year that I lived in Southfield.
For many years after I moved away from Michigan, I subscribed to the tape ministry program of the Church of Today and received the Sunday Lessons on cassette tape. (I know... I know.... old school!)
When Jack passed away in 1992, I contacted the church and purchased several years of back sermons by Jack. I have an awful lot of his recorded services in my library. I still listen to them regularly and am inspired and motivated to reach higher because of Jack's teaching.
I have quoted Jack an extraordinary amount over the years! I would not be the same person if it weren't for Jack Boland. In fact, he's one of two people that I credit with the fact that I'm still on the planet. His messages have helped me grow personally and spiritually each and every year since I met him.
For 20 years, I have used the journaling and goal setting process that Jack created. I purchase the Mastermind Goal Achiever's Journal every year from the Church of Today. It is an awesome tool for setting your goals and intentions and tracking the progress of your spiritual growth.
Jack passed away after a long experience with cancer. It was the third time in his life that he had this disease. I, and many others, witnessed his moving through that illness with dignity and grace. He passed away on a day that carried the message that he himself demonstrated throughout his entire life: March Forth!
Here is a link to a tribute that I have to Jack on my website:
Jack Boland Tribute
Here is a link to the Renaissance Unity bookstore and Jack's recorded programs:
The Best of Jack Boland at Renaissance Unity
If you ever have the opportunity to listen to any of his programs or to read his book you will benefit immensely.
Thanks Jack! Your contribution greatly enriched and impacted my life. I appreciate and remember you every day that I'm alive!
.... And that's the way it really is!
In Loving Memory of McKenzie
Today is a very important day for me. March 4th marks the transition date for two very special beings in my life. They were both important spiritual teachers for me.
Interestingly enough, I met both of them in 1987, during the year that I lived near Detroit Michigan. Although today is the official transition date, I will write about McKenzie today, and I will write about Jack Boland tomorrow.
McKenzie was my little kitty companion and spiritual teacher for 17 years. She made her transition on March 4, 2004. I still miss her... every single day.
McKenzie as a kitten in 1987
McKenzie as an adult
I adopted her from the Michigan Humane Society in the town of Troy, Michigan. She was the cutest thing I've ever seen. It was love at first sight for both of us. McKenzie was a little fireball of energy and intelligence. She had a very sweet disposition, but had no patience for anyone imposing their will on her!! She was an independent spirit. She and I were alike in many ways. Even though each of us was immensely independent we bonded immediately and very deeply. She was without a doubt, one of my soul mates for this lifetime. There isn't a doubt in my mind!
McKenzie had a Q-tip fetish. She was obsessed with them. When she was young and I used to travel a lot for business, she would locate the Q-tip container in my bathroom (even though it was always hidden in some new and creative location) and empty the contents onto the floor. She would then proceed to pitch the Q-tips in the air and carry them all over my apartment. It was a ritual of ours for her to sit on the bathroom counter next to me when I was getting ready in the morning, or preparing for bed. She would wait patiently until I would give her a Q-tip to bat around and play with. When she was finished playing with it, she would usually carry it to her food bowl and leave it there, as though it were the fruit of some great hunt. To her last breath, she loved Q-tips and was always intrigued and amused when I would give her one to play with. I kept one of her last Q-tips in a little box of mementos of her life. :)
McKenzie also loved to drink water from a glass. This habit was started by a housemate who caught her drinking water from a glass on his desk one day. From then on he always made sure she had a full glass of fresh water waiting on his desk. I continued the ritual. In addition to her 'official' water bowl, there was always a glass of fresh water on my coffee table full enough for her to drink without getting her face stuck down inside the glass.
McKenzie also really loved to drink water from the sink. She liked for me to trickle lukewarm water from the tap and she would stick her head in the sink to drink it either from the tap, or from the side of the sink where it drizzled down. Cats aren't supposed to like water, but McKenzie loved to walk into the shower after I was done and walk around on the wet tile. It intrigued her somehow!!
McKenzie was special in so many ways. She was always waiting for me to come home and was always happy to see me. She always knew when I was coming home from a trip. Her behavior would change markedly the day I was to come home from a long trip.
She loved to sit on my lap and cuddle, but only on her own initiation. She never liked to be picked up. She liked to feel free to come and go as she pleased.
She had a very cute habit of lying on my hands when I would try to type on the computer. I honestly believe she was trying to get me to relax more and work less.
In her younger years she was a true escape artist. She would try to get out of my apartments at every opportunity. She was an indoor kitty, and yet she was fearless! She wanted to experience everything in life and had no fear of anything! She had many adventures in the great outdoors. I was terrified, she was exhilarated!
McKenzie taught me a lot about love. She taught me a lot about courage. She really taught me about the art of relaxation. She modeled so many healthy ways of embracing life... and rest for me.
She went through most of my major life transitions with me. She was a witness to many of my happiest moments and for a lot of tears and trauma.
I'm grateful for every day that I had with her. She was a gift from Spirit. We were perfectly matched in every possible way. I could never have asked for a better companion. She is deeply loved and deeply missed.
Here is a link to a page on my website that contains a tribute I wrote to her. There are a bunch of very cute pictures of her there as well:
Tribute to McKenzie & Photos
Interestingly enough, I met both of them in 1987, during the year that I lived near Detroit Michigan. Although today is the official transition date, I will write about McKenzie today, and I will write about Jack Boland tomorrow.
McKenzie was my little kitty companion and spiritual teacher for 17 years. She made her transition on March 4, 2004. I still miss her... every single day.
McKenzie as a kitten in 1987
McKenzie as an adult
I adopted her from the Michigan Humane Society in the town of Troy, Michigan. She was the cutest thing I've ever seen. It was love at first sight for both of us. McKenzie was a little fireball of energy and intelligence. She had a very sweet disposition, but had no patience for anyone imposing their will on her!! She was an independent spirit. She and I were alike in many ways. Even though each of us was immensely independent we bonded immediately and very deeply. She was without a doubt, one of my soul mates for this lifetime. There isn't a doubt in my mind!
McKenzie had a Q-tip fetish. She was obsessed with them. When she was young and I used to travel a lot for business, she would locate the Q-tip container in my bathroom (even though it was always hidden in some new and creative location) and empty the contents onto the floor. She would then proceed to pitch the Q-tips in the air and carry them all over my apartment. It was a ritual of ours for her to sit on the bathroom counter next to me when I was getting ready in the morning, or preparing for bed. She would wait patiently until I would give her a Q-tip to bat around and play with. When she was finished playing with it, she would usually carry it to her food bowl and leave it there, as though it were the fruit of some great hunt. To her last breath, she loved Q-tips and was always intrigued and amused when I would give her one to play with. I kept one of her last Q-tips in a little box of mementos of her life. :)
McKenzie also loved to drink water from a glass. This habit was started by a housemate who caught her drinking water from a glass on his desk one day. From then on he always made sure she had a full glass of fresh water waiting on his desk. I continued the ritual. In addition to her 'official' water bowl, there was always a glass of fresh water on my coffee table full enough for her to drink without getting her face stuck down inside the glass.
McKenzie also really loved to drink water from the sink. She liked for me to trickle lukewarm water from the tap and she would stick her head in the sink to drink it either from the tap, or from the side of the sink where it drizzled down. Cats aren't supposed to like water, but McKenzie loved to walk into the shower after I was done and walk around on the wet tile. It intrigued her somehow!!
McKenzie was special in so many ways. She was always waiting for me to come home and was always happy to see me. She always knew when I was coming home from a trip. Her behavior would change markedly the day I was to come home from a long trip.
She loved to sit on my lap and cuddle, but only on her own initiation. She never liked to be picked up. She liked to feel free to come and go as she pleased.
She had a very cute habit of lying on my hands when I would try to type on the computer. I honestly believe she was trying to get me to relax more and work less.
In her younger years she was a true escape artist. She would try to get out of my apartments at every opportunity. She was an indoor kitty, and yet she was fearless! She wanted to experience everything in life and had no fear of anything! She had many adventures in the great outdoors. I was terrified, she was exhilarated!
McKenzie taught me a lot about love. She taught me a lot about courage. She really taught me about the art of relaxation. She modeled so many healthy ways of embracing life... and rest for me.
She went through most of my major life transitions with me. She was a witness to many of my happiest moments and for a lot of tears and trauma.
I'm grateful for every day that I had with her. She was a gift from Spirit. We were perfectly matched in every possible way. I could never have asked for a better companion. She is deeply loved and deeply missed.
Here is a link to a page on my website that contains a tribute I wrote to her. There are a bunch of very cute pictures of her there as well:
Tribute to McKenzie & Photos
Monday, March 03, 2008
Memorial Suggestions
Tomorrow, March 4th is a very important day in my life. March 4th is the date of transition/death for my beloved kitty, McKenzie (in 2004) and one of my two primary spiritual teachers, Jack Boland (in 1992). I will be writing special posts for each of them to remember them and the impact they each had on my life.
Today, I wanted to offer an idea that I love for remembering those that have passed from our physical lives.
Each year, for example, on March 4th I burn special candles for each of my loved ones, McKenzie and Jack during the evening. They are special memorial candles that I only burn that one day of the year, in their memory.
In Jewish tradition, they have a special candle for this occasion and every year on the death anniversary of their friend or family member, they light a 24 hour burning candle in remembrance. It's a beautiful tradition.
That is essentially what I do for people (and my kitty) who are dear to my heart. I've had candles made by Zena Moon Candles, with custom labels and quotes that personalize the candle for the loved one being remembered. I have special candles for all of the beings in my life who have left this physical plane.
Another tradition I have set, is to make a donation, on their death anniversary, to a charity that has relevance to the being that has passed. For example, for Jack Boland, I contribute to the church he founded, Church of Today, in Warren Michigan. It is now called Renaissance Unity. I do this because it was Jack's hope and dream that this church would always be available for hurting people to find help, comfort and guidance to improve their lives.
For McKenzie, my kitty companion for 17 years, I donate to the Michigan Humane Society, because I adopted her from that organization when I lived in the Detroit area many years ago. I feel like I'm giving something back to an organization who gave me more in that little fuzzy package than any person could EVER hope for. :)
In this way I feel I am honoring my loved one in a way that would please them. The gifts aren't necessarily large, but they are filled with love and appreciation. It turns what could be a sad day, into one of celebration and appreciation!
Give it some thought and consider adopting the candle ritual and/or the donation ritual to commemorate the passing of those who have enriched your life. Over the course of a lifetime of giving, in this way, one can make a huge impact on the organizations that somehow represent something special about those we love.
Today, I wanted to offer an idea that I love for remembering those that have passed from our physical lives.
Each year, for example, on March 4th I burn special candles for each of my loved ones, McKenzie and Jack during the evening. They are special memorial candles that I only burn that one day of the year, in their memory.
In Jewish tradition, they have a special candle for this occasion and every year on the death anniversary of their friend or family member, they light a 24 hour burning candle in remembrance. It's a beautiful tradition.
That is essentially what I do for people (and my kitty) who are dear to my heart. I've had candles made by Zena Moon Candles, with custom labels and quotes that personalize the candle for the loved one being remembered. I have special candles for all of the beings in my life who have left this physical plane.
Another tradition I have set, is to make a donation, on their death anniversary, to a charity that has relevance to the being that has passed. For example, for Jack Boland, I contribute to the church he founded, Church of Today, in Warren Michigan. It is now called Renaissance Unity. I do this because it was Jack's hope and dream that this church would always be available for hurting people to find help, comfort and guidance to improve their lives.
For McKenzie, my kitty companion for 17 years, I donate to the Michigan Humane Society, because I adopted her from that organization when I lived in the Detroit area many years ago. I feel like I'm giving something back to an organization who gave me more in that little fuzzy package than any person could EVER hope for. :)
In this way I feel I am honoring my loved one in a way that would please them. The gifts aren't necessarily large, but they are filled with love and appreciation. It turns what could be a sad day, into one of celebration and appreciation!
Give it some thought and consider adopting the candle ritual and/or the donation ritual to commemorate the passing of those who have enriched your life. Over the course of a lifetime of giving, in this way, one can make a huge impact on the organizations that somehow represent something special about those we love.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Sticking With It
I have a sign sitting on my desk that says, 'Most things are difficult before they are easy."
Sometimes I think we expect things to be instantly easy. We want to master skills and demonstrate prowess instantly without going through a learning curve. In most endeavors in life, this simply isn't realistic.
I think of many things that I've learned about. Rarely do I do something perfectly (or even well) right out of the gate. Some learning processes go quickly, but others are slower more cumulative processes.
My knowledge of plants, trees and gardening has developed over the past 18 years that I have been a home owner. In the past, I watched gardening shows on television quite frequently. I also have often read gardening books and magazines. I go through seasons with this hobby/interest. Some years I don't do much with it and other years I spend more time adding to my knowledge base.
My knowledge of finance and investing has followed a similar path, and I continue pouring several hours a week into expanding and refniing my skill set.
Sometimes I get frustrated with how little I still know about the many interests that I have. Then I remind myself that even putting in a little effort over time results in cumulative knowledge gained over the long haul. I also remember that the time is going to pass anyway, so I might as well be studying things that interest me and expanding my wisdom!
Lots of us get into 'all or nothing' thinking about our interests. We want mastery (quickly) or we just give up or postpone our efforts to learn about something.
I am a believer in the 'slow drip' process of learning new things or getting things done. Set aside small amounts of time to devote to something and let the learning build on itself over time. Be patient, don't demand instant mastery, and keep reminding yourself that the time will pass anyway, and all those small amounts of time will eventually transform into deep levels of learning!
Sometimes I think we expect things to be instantly easy. We want to master skills and demonstrate prowess instantly without going through a learning curve. In most endeavors in life, this simply isn't realistic.
I think of many things that I've learned about. Rarely do I do something perfectly (or even well) right out of the gate. Some learning processes go quickly, but others are slower more cumulative processes.
My knowledge of plants, trees and gardening has developed over the past 18 years that I have been a home owner. In the past, I watched gardening shows on television quite frequently. I also have often read gardening books and magazines. I go through seasons with this hobby/interest. Some years I don't do much with it and other years I spend more time adding to my knowledge base.
My knowledge of finance and investing has followed a similar path, and I continue pouring several hours a week into expanding and refniing my skill set.
Sometimes I get frustrated with how little I still know about the many interests that I have. Then I remind myself that even putting in a little effort over time results in cumulative knowledge gained over the long haul. I also remember that the time is going to pass anyway, so I might as well be studying things that interest me and expanding my wisdom!
Lots of us get into 'all or nothing' thinking about our interests. We want mastery (quickly) or we just give up or postpone our efforts to learn about something.
I am a believer in the 'slow drip' process of learning new things or getting things done. Set aside small amounts of time to devote to something and let the learning build on itself over time. Be patient, don't demand instant mastery, and keep reminding yourself that the time will pass anyway, and all those small amounts of time will eventually transform into deep levels of learning!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Jerusalem Peacemakers
My friend Eliyahu McLean sent out this update on the work of the organization, the Jerusalem Peacemakers. If you are not familiar with this organization, it's worth looking at. They break down barriers every single day. This is particularly exciting to me:
Jerusalem Peacemakers recently hosted an event about work being done to help build bridges between Syria and the West.
BUILDING BRIDGES FOR PEACE WITH SYRIA, with MARC GOPIN
January 9th
At the same moment that the Prime Minister of Israel was hosting a dinner for President George Bush and Israel's top politicians just a few blocks away, we hosted over 40 Israelis and Palestinians for a peace gathering and discussion with Rabbi Prof. Marc Gopin. Marc Gopin is the James Laue Professor of World's Religions, Diplomacy and Conflict Resolution at George Mason University. Marc Gopin shared about his mission of reconciliation and recent journeys to Syria.
Invited by the Syrian government, Marc Gopin has been the only American rabbi to address the Syrian nation. Marc Gopin reported: "we have in the last three years set up over five conferences and press conferences in Damascus, as well as at some universities on the issues of interfaith tolerance and interfaith cooperation in building civil society. All were broadcast on Syrian television and sometimes Al Jazeerah."
On a journey to Aleppo in 2006, Marc Gopin was invited to be a guest of honor in the central mosque in Aleppo by his friend the mufti of Syria. After the mufti gave the Friday speech at the mosque he pointed out one man in the audience, an Iraqi refugee who had been tortured by American soldiers in the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. In front of 2000 people, Marc Gopin made a gesture of apology as a religious leader from America, to this man. The mufti asked his followers to record this moment. It was recorded on people's cell phones and broadcast all over Syria. The leader of Syria responded that was more important as a gesture of reconciliation than any speech by the US president.
After Marc Gopin's talk, Ahmahlya from the African Hebrew Israelite community in Dimona spoke about the connection between health, diet and peacemaking.
Sheikh Abdul Aziz Bukhari shared a Sufi approach peacemaking in the Mid-East and Michael sang a song about 'shalom'. Jeff Goldstein closed the evening with an energy circle, directing us to focus our prayer to the well being of the people of Syria. Marc Gopin traveled the next day to Damascus, sharing with Syrians he met about this prayer.
After this recent journey to Syria, Marc reported: "the conference on combatting violence that we set up in the days after I left Jerusalem this winter was broadcast over and over by satellite stations in the Middle East and was seen by a million people, according to my Syrian partners. I also met again with the Mufti in his offices. We discussed paths forward to peace, and especially the importance of religion being a help to peace not a hindrance. The mufti feels strongly and has said so to the European Parliament after we met, that religion should not abuse power or be in control of countries."
See pictures from this gathering at this website:
http://www..com/photos/jerusalem_peacemakers/sets
See also this video clip of a prayer gathering of Jews and Muslims we held in 2004 at the entrance to the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf61OV2joDY
Jerusalem Peacemakers (JP) supports and connects a network of religious and grassroots Israeli and Palestinian peacebuilders. Some of our current projects:
- monthly peace gatherings bringing together Israelis, Palestinians and internationals in the both the West Jerusalem center and the East Jerusalem center, the home of Sheikh Abdul Aziz Bukhari, the Naqshabandi Sufi Center in the Muslim Quarter of the Old City
-the Abrahamic Reunion: a group of Jewish, Christian, Muslim and Druze religious and women leaders working together to re-claim religion as a force for peace
- humanitarian projects- helping the moderate religious leaders to implement humanitarian/social welfare projects that benefit their home community
JP is currently providing organizational support for these projects:
- Heartbeat Jerusalem- a project bringing together Arab and Jewish youth musicians from East and West Jerusalem for shared musical collaboration
- Arab Women's Empowerment- a project by Ibtisam Mahamid in the Arab town of Faradis to train Arab Muslim women in job training, skills building and empowerment
Salaam, Shalom, Peace,
Eliyahu McLean
Jerusalem Peacemakers, co-director
www.jerusalempeacemakers.org
Jerusalem Peacemakers recently hosted an event about work being done to help build bridges between Syria and the West.
BUILDING BRIDGES FOR PEACE WITH SYRIA, with MARC GOPIN
January 9th
At the same moment that the Prime Minister of Israel was hosting a dinner for President George Bush and Israel's top politicians just a few blocks away, we hosted over 40 Israelis and Palestinians for a peace gathering and discussion with Rabbi Prof. Marc Gopin. Marc Gopin is the James Laue Professor of World's Religions, Diplomacy and Conflict Resolution at George Mason University. Marc Gopin shared about his mission of reconciliation and recent journeys to Syria.
Invited by the Syrian government, Marc Gopin has been the only American rabbi to address the Syrian nation. Marc Gopin reported: "we have in the last three years set up over five conferences and press conferences in Damascus, as well as at some universities on the issues of interfaith tolerance and interfaith cooperation in building civil society. All were broadcast on Syrian television and sometimes Al Jazeerah."
On a journey to Aleppo in 2006, Marc Gopin was invited to be a guest of honor in the central mosque in Aleppo by his friend the mufti of Syria. After the mufti gave the Friday speech at the mosque he pointed out one man in the audience, an Iraqi refugee who had been tortured by American soldiers in the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. In front of 2000 people, Marc Gopin made a gesture of apology as a religious leader from America, to this man. The mufti asked his followers to record this moment. It was recorded on people's cell phones and broadcast all over Syria. The leader of Syria responded that was more important as a gesture of reconciliation than any speech by the US president.
After Marc Gopin's talk, Ahmahlya from the African Hebrew Israelite community in Dimona spoke about the connection between health, diet and peacemaking.
Sheikh Abdul Aziz Bukhari shared a Sufi approach peacemaking in the Mid-East and Michael sang a song about 'shalom'. Jeff Goldstein closed the evening with an energy circle, directing us to focus our prayer to the well being of the people of Syria. Marc Gopin traveled the next day to Damascus, sharing with Syrians he met about this prayer.
After this recent journey to Syria, Marc reported: "the conference on combatting violence that we set up in the days after I left Jerusalem this winter was broadcast over and over by satellite stations in the Middle East and was seen by a million people, according to my Syrian partners. I also met again with the Mufti in his offices. We discussed paths forward to peace, and especially the importance of religion being a help to peace not a hindrance. The mufti feels strongly and has said so to the European Parliament after we met, that religion should not abuse power or be in control of countries."
See pictures from this gathering at this website:
http://www..com/photos/jerusalem_peacemakers/sets
See also this video clip of a prayer gathering of Jews and Muslims we held in 2004 at the entrance to the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf61OV2joDY
Jerusalem Peacemakers (JP) supports and connects a network of religious and grassroots Israeli and Palestinian peacebuilders. Some of our current projects:
- monthly peace gatherings bringing together Israelis, Palestinians and internationals in the both the West Jerusalem center and the East Jerusalem center, the home of Sheikh Abdul Aziz Bukhari, the Naqshabandi Sufi Center in the Muslim Quarter of the Old City
-the Abrahamic Reunion: a group of Jewish, Christian, Muslim and Druze religious and women leaders working together to re-claim religion as a force for peace
- humanitarian projects- helping the moderate religious leaders to implement humanitarian/social welfare projects that benefit their home community
JP is currently providing organizational support for these projects:
- Heartbeat Jerusalem- a project bringing together Arab and Jewish youth musicians from East and West Jerusalem for shared musical collaboration
- Arab Women's Empowerment- a project by Ibtisam Mahamid in the Arab town of Faradis to train Arab Muslim women in job training, skills building and empowerment
Salaam, Shalom, Peace,
Eliyahu McLean
Jerusalem Peacemakers, co-director
www.jerusalempeacemakers.org
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Talk Nice to Yourself
We all have certain 'personal' tasks that we must do every day. For example, we bathe, brush our teeth and put on our clothing. I want to propose a powerful way to work on self acceptance and building a positive self image while we engage in these repetitive 'self maintenance' procedures.
The process I'm about to explain is one that I've used for many many years. I am a believer in working with self talk as a tool to reshape our self image. Using positive statements about oneself is a powerful way to do this.
When I wash my face, for example, I say all sorts of positive things to myself about my complexion:
My face is youthful, glowing, radiant and bright!
My skin is clear, bright and healthy.
My face is blemish free, dark circle free, wrinkle free.
My skin is soft, supple and elastic.
My skin is supported by firm, toned musculature.
etc.
When I'm in the shower, I say positive things to myself about my hair, when washing and conditioning it:
My hair is shiny and healthy.
My hair is thick, full and lush.
My scalp is healthy.
My hair is beatiful and soft.
etc.
When I'm getting dressed, I say positive things to myself about my body:
My legs are toned and strong.
My muscles get stronger every day.
My skin is healthy and soft.
My body is flexible and limber.
etc.
In other words, I use the opportunity while I engage with various aspects of my physcial being to sing the praises of those parts! We have to do those things anyway, so rather than ruminating on some problem, or replaying a past conversation/event in our minds, why not do something constructive? We can bring increased presence and attention to what we are actually doing, and cultivate a healthier, more balanced self image. What a deal!
When we are working with a physical aspect of our form, it is doubly powerful to focus on it mentally in a positive and constructive manner. When we lift weights, a good trainer will encourage us to visualize the muscle(s) that we are working. It makes the lift more effective when we focus on the area of the body that is being exercised. This practice I'm advocating is based on the same premise. When we bring conscious awareness to what we are doing and use that opportunity to improve our relationship ourselves, we benefit immensely.
This can become a way of life. You start to really pay attention to what you are doing, AND to what you are saying to yourself when you are doing it. Cleaning up our self talk (removing negative, critical statements and replacing them with positive), constructive statements can transform our lives!
Give it a try? What can it hurt? You might be really suprised at how you start to look at and feel about yourself!
The process I'm about to explain is one that I've used for many many years. I am a believer in working with self talk as a tool to reshape our self image. Using positive statements about oneself is a powerful way to do this.
When I wash my face, for example, I say all sorts of positive things to myself about my complexion:
My face is youthful, glowing, radiant and bright!
My skin is clear, bright and healthy.
My face is blemish free, dark circle free, wrinkle free.
My skin is soft, supple and elastic.
My skin is supported by firm, toned musculature.
etc.
When I'm in the shower, I say positive things to myself about my hair, when washing and conditioning it:
My hair is shiny and healthy.
My hair is thick, full and lush.
My scalp is healthy.
My hair is beatiful and soft.
etc.
When I'm getting dressed, I say positive things to myself about my body:
My legs are toned and strong.
My muscles get stronger every day.
My skin is healthy and soft.
My body is flexible and limber.
etc.
In other words, I use the opportunity while I engage with various aspects of my physcial being to sing the praises of those parts! We have to do those things anyway, so rather than ruminating on some problem, or replaying a past conversation/event in our minds, why not do something constructive? We can bring increased presence and attention to what we are actually doing, and cultivate a healthier, more balanced self image. What a deal!
When we are working with a physical aspect of our form, it is doubly powerful to focus on it mentally in a positive and constructive manner. When we lift weights, a good trainer will encourage us to visualize the muscle(s) that we are working. It makes the lift more effective when we focus on the area of the body that is being exercised. This practice I'm advocating is based on the same premise. When we bring conscious awareness to what we are doing and use that opportunity to improve our relationship ourselves, we benefit immensely.
This can become a way of life. You start to really pay attention to what you are doing, AND to what you are saying to yourself when you are doing it. Cleaning up our self talk (removing negative, critical statements and replacing them with positive), constructive statements can transform our lives!
Give it a try? What can it hurt? You might be really suprised at how you start to look at and feel about yourself!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Embracing our Uniqueness
Ever wondered why it is that we compare ourselves incessantly to other people? I find it frustrating that I continue to do this, even though I know better!
There is nothing wrong with having role models, or learning from the successes of other people. We get in to trouble, however, when we constantly compare ourselves to others and wish that we could be more like them. Doing this actually dilutes our appreciation of the fact that we were created to be a genuine, authentic 'one of a kind.' We were never intended to be just like any other person. We were given a special set of characteristics that no other human being possesses. This was not an accident!
I believe that each of us is born with a purpose and a mission to fulfil. We are given exactly what we need in order to accomplish this mission. Nothing is missing.
Learning from others is great, but embracing what is uniquely ours is a magical part of the equation. When we can appreciate ourselves for all the things that make us different, we liberate ourselves to really shine and contribute. Comparing ourselves to others or envying the skills, talents, resources, appearance or personalities of others is a mere distraction from developing our own raw materials into the best they can possibly be. It's a diversion and a waste of precious energy. We don't feel good when we do this and it's self defeating. It leaves us feeling discouraged and as thought we will never be able to measure up.
All of us are able to do different things in life, precisely because we are so diverse. If everyone was alike, what a boring world we would live in. If everyone had the exact same skill set, we would really be in trouble. Many of our needs would go unmet.
Each of us can contribute something that no other being on earth can provide to the tapestry of life. Instead of staring at another piece of thread in the tapestry and wishing we were THAT piece, it's time to start celebrating our own authentic, essential presence.
Appreciate others for their gifts and accomplishments... and give yourself the same courtesy! You are YOU for a reason!
As my friend Gail Larsen of Real Speaking always says, "Be yourself! Everyone else is taken!"
There is nothing wrong with having role models, or learning from the successes of other people. We get in to trouble, however, when we constantly compare ourselves to others and wish that we could be more like them. Doing this actually dilutes our appreciation of the fact that we were created to be a genuine, authentic 'one of a kind.' We were never intended to be just like any other person. We were given a special set of characteristics that no other human being possesses. This was not an accident!
I believe that each of us is born with a purpose and a mission to fulfil. We are given exactly what we need in order to accomplish this mission. Nothing is missing.
Learning from others is great, but embracing what is uniquely ours is a magical part of the equation. When we can appreciate ourselves for all the things that make us different, we liberate ourselves to really shine and contribute. Comparing ourselves to others or envying the skills, talents, resources, appearance or personalities of others is a mere distraction from developing our own raw materials into the best they can possibly be. It's a diversion and a waste of precious energy. We don't feel good when we do this and it's self defeating. It leaves us feeling discouraged and as thought we will never be able to measure up.
All of us are able to do different things in life, precisely because we are so diverse. If everyone was alike, what a boring world we would live in. If everyone had the exact same skill set, we would really be in trouble. Many of our needs would go unmet.
Each of us can contribute something that no other being on earth can provide to the tapestry of life. Instead of staring at another piece of thread in the tapestry and wishing we were THAT piece, it's time to start celebrating our own authentic, essential presence.
Appreciate others for their gifts and accomplishments... and give yourself the same courtesy! You are YOU for a reason!
As my friend Gail Larsen of Real Speaking always says, "Be yourself! Everyone else is taken!"
Monday, February 25, 2008
Women for Women International
I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know about a fantastic organization that is truly changing the lives of women on our planet.
Women for Women International is a fabulous organization that supports women who live in conflict and post-conflict environments around the globe. They provide opportunities to sponsor women who are in situations that most of us would find beyond belief.
I have been working with them as a sponsor for the past 5 years. Each year I sponsor a different woman through their program (described a bit below). The sponsorship includes a monthly sponsorship fee and a monthly letter/correspondence with my 'sister.' This year, my sister is from Sudan. I have sponsored women in Kosovo, Afghanistan and Nigeria. It has been a thrilling and rewarding experience to share part of life's journey with women in such different life circumstances from my own.
As a women who is blessed to live in a country where I have tremendous freedom, rights and protection, I feel called to do something to help women who not only do not share those luxuries, but have also been exposed to extreme levels of conflict and violence.
Sponsorship costs $27 per month, which is such a small price to pay for giving a woman a chance to rebuild her life!
I encourage anyone who often feels helpless in the face of some of the world's suffering to take a look at this opportunity to expand your sense of family and include a woman in your heart from a far corner of the globe! You'll never be the same!
www.womenforwomen.org/index.htm
Here's a brief excerpt from the Women for Women International website about what this amazing organization does:
Across the globe, armed conflicts have reached an unprecedented number. There have been more than 250 major wars since the end of World War II. Ninety percent of those injured or killed in today’s conflicts are civilians, 75 percent of whom are women and children. As never before, women are forced to bear the burdens of war and civil strife.
Millions of women are targeted for rape or other violence, displaced from their own homes, lose loved ones or suddenly obliged to become the sole provider for their families. They are frequently left to rebuild their lives without the basic necessities for survival or a viable means to earn an income. Women are also commonly excluded from peace negotiations and post-conflict decision-making.
Founded in 1993, Women for Women International helps women in war-torn regions rebuild their lives by providing financial and emotional support, job skills training, rights awareness and leadership education and access to business skills, capital and markets. Through the program, women become confident, independent and productive as they embrace the importance of their roles in rebuilding their families, their communities and ultimately, their nations.
Changing Lives
We help women advance from being victims to attaining stability as survivors to becoming active citizens in their communities. By joining Women for Women International, thousands of women have:
* Found new hope
* Gained or enhanced skills relevant to their local economies
* Learned how to value the importance of their roles and rights in society
* Started businesses
* Sent their children to school
* Registered to vote
Since 1993, Women for Women International has:
* Served more than 120,000 women
* Distributed approximately $33 million in direct aid and microcredit loans
Since our inception, Women for Women International has moved 120,000 women from crisis to stability to active citizenship. Active citizenship takes many forms. For example, in Afghanistan we helped women understand the importance of voting and registered more than 2,000 women to vote in the historic presidential elections. In Nigeria, women have organized themselves to end oppressive widowhood practices and female genital cutting in their communities. In Bosnia and Herzegovina, 9,686 women are moving towards economic self-sufficiency through our microcredit program. These accomplishments are noteworthy because on both the micro and macro levels, women are making incremental yet sweeping changes in their communities and countries.
www.womenforwomen.org/index.htm
Women for Women International is a fabulous organization that supports women who live in conflict and post-conflict environments around the globe. They provide opportunities to sponsor women who are in situations that most of us would find beyond belief.
I have been working with them as a sponsor for the past 5 years. Each year I sponsor a different woman through their program (described a bit below). The sponsorship includes a monthly sponsorship fee and a monthly letter/correspondence with my 'sister.' This year, my sister is from Sudan. I have sponsored women in Kosovo, Afghanistan and Nigeria. It has been a thrilling and rewarding experience to share part of life's journey with women in such different life circumstances from my own.
As a women who is blessed to live in a country where I have tremendous freedom, rights and protection, I feel called to do something to help women who not only do not share those luxuries, but have also been exposed to extreme levels of conflict and violence.
Sponsorship costs $27 per month, which is such a small price to pay for giving a woman a chance to rebuild her life!
I encourage anyone who often feels helpless in the face of some of the world's suffering to take a look at this opportunity to expand your sense of family and include a woman in your heart from a far corner of the globe! You'll never be the same!
www.womenforwomen.org/index.htm
Here's a brief excerpt from the Women for Women International website about what this amazing organization does:
Across the globe, armed conflicts have reached an unprecedented number. There have been more than 250 major wars since the end of World War II. Ninety percent of those injured or killed in today’s conflicts are civilians, 75 percent of whom are women and children. As never before, women are forced to bear the burdens of war and civil strife.
Millions of women are targeted for rape or other violence, displaced from their own homes, lose loved ones or suddenly obliged to become the sole provider for their families. They are frequently left to rebuild their lives without the basic necessities for survival or a viable means to earn an income. Women are also commonly excluded from peace negotiations and post-conflict decision-making.
Founded in 1993, Women for Women International helps women in war-torn regions rebuild their lives by providing financial and emotional support, job skills training, rights awareness and leadership education and access to business skills, capital and markets. Through the program, women become confident, independent and productive as they embrace the importance of their roles in rebuilding their families, their communities and ultimately, their nations.
Changing Lives
We help women advance from being victims to attaining stability as survivors to becoming active citizens in their communities. By joining Women for Women International, thousands of women have:
* Found new hope
* Gained or enhanced skills relevant to their local economies
* Learned how to value the importance of their roles and rights in society
* Started businesses
* Sent their children to school
* Registered to vote
Since 1993, Women for Women International has:
* Served more than 120,000 women
* Distributed approximately $33 million in direct aid and microcredit loans
Since our inception, Women for Women International has moved 120,000 women from crisis to stability to active citizenship. Active citizenship takes many forms. For example, in Afghanistan we helped women understand the importance of voting and registered more than 2,000 women to vote in the historic presidential elections. In Nigeria, women have organized themselves to end oppressive widowhood practices and female genital cutting in their communities. In Bosnia and Herzegovina, 9,686 women are moving towards economic self-sufficiency through our microcredit program. These accomplishments are noteworthy because on both the micro and macro levels, women are making incremental yet sweeping changes in their communities and countries.
www.womenforwomen.org/index.htm
Friday, February 22, 2008
The Older Perspective
Several years ago, I was mentoring a teenage girl. At the same time I was also visiting an elderly woman in a retirement facility.
THe visits with the older woman were often comprised of her telling me stories about her life and her past. I would often tell her about the details of my days. SHe was always interested (or pretended to be) and seemed amazed by how busy I was. I must admit, that a fair amount of my time was probably spent almost complaining about my burdens and my work load. Life is busy, after all, and it's all important to me. THere never seemed to be enough time to get it all done!
One day, I was just about to enter the retirement home to visit my friend when my cell phone rang. It was my teenager. She was extremely upset and was having trouble even getting whole sentences out as she tried to tell me what was wrong. SHe had a lot of homework to do... more than she could get done. She was being pressured to try out for cheerleading by her parents, but didn't really want to. There were many other burdens and responsibilities that she was struggling to juggle. It was all SO SERIOUS... and she was feeling terribly overwhelmed.
As I let her vent her frustrations and we discussed some ways to approach her current dillema, I started to wonder about something. None of her problems were actually earth shattering. From my 30-something perspective, most of what she was upset about really didn't matter. I knew that before long, the cares of this day would be forgotten. She couldn't see that in the midst of her overwhelm, but from my vantage point, having lived a bit longer, I knew this to be true.
I started to wonder if I sounded to my elderly friend the way my teenager sounded to me? How much of what I was SOOOOO CONCERNED about really was completely unimportant in the long term? Was my older, wiser, woman friend internally smiling to herself at my youthful lack of persepctive?
That day changed me. I started to carefully consider the subjects I brought up with my elderly friend. I no longer wanted to rattle on about things that really weren't important. I wanted to train myself to understand that many things simply don't matter as much as I think they do!
Whenever I would start to 'spin up' on something, I would remember how my teenager sounded when she described her life and the utter hopelessness of it all. I encouraged myself to look at my own situation through the lens of awareness that I had about hers. Not to take anything away from the agony that my young friend was experiencing. I know she truly 'felt' that her life was out of control. The truth is, however, that it wasn't really out of control. Nor was mine.
I've had many 'teenage' moments since then, but I'm quicker to recover from them now. I can often 'catch myself' and remind myself that when I'm in my 80's or 90's, I'll look back fondly on the crazy days of my 40's... so busy and stressful.
I might as well enjoy them for all they are worth... instead of lamenting the burden of them.
THe visits with the older woman were often comprised of her telling me stories about her life and her past. I would often tell her about the details of my days. SHe was always interested (or pretended to be) and seemed amazed by how busy I was. I must admit, that a fair amount of my time was probably spent almost complaining about my burdens and my work load. Life is busy, after all, and it's all important to me. THere never seemed to be enough time to get it all done!
One day, I was just about to enter the retirement home to visit my friend when my cell phone rang. It was my teenager. She was extremely upset and was having trouble even getting whole sentences out as she tried to tell me what was wrong. SHe had a lot of homework to do... more than she could get done. She was being pressured to try out for cheerleading by her parents, but didn't really want to. There were many other burdens and responsibilities that she was struggling to juggle. It was all SO SERIOUS... and she was feeling terribly overwhelmed.
As I let her vent her frustrations and we discussed some ways to approach her current dillema, I started to wonder about something. None of her problems were actually earth shattering. From my 30-something perspective, most of what she was upset about really didn't matter. I knew that before long, the cares of this day would be forgotten. She couldn't see that in the midst of her overwhelm, but from my vantage point, having lived a bit longer, I knew this to be true.
I started to wonder if I sounded to my elderly friend the way my teenager sounded to me? How much of what I was SOOOOO CONCERNED about really was completely unimportant in the long term? Was my older, wiser, woman friend internally smiling to herself at my youthful lack of persepctive?
That day changed me. I started to carefully consider the subjects I brought up with my elderly friend. I no longer wanted to rattle on about things that really weren't important. I wanted to train myself to understand that many things simply don't matter as much as I think they do!
Whenever I would start to 'spin up' on something, I would remember how my teenager sounded when she described her life and the utter hopelessness of it all. I encouraged myself to look at my own situation through the lens of awareness that I had about hers. Not to take anything away from the agony that my young friend was experiencing. I know she truly 'felt' that her life was out of control. The truth is, however, that it wasn't really out of control. Nor was mine.
I've had many 'teenage' moments since then, but I'm quicker to recover from them now. I can often 'catch myself' and remind myself that when I'm in my 80's or 90's, I'll look back fondly on the crazy days of my 40's... so busy and stressful.
I might as well enjoy them for all they are worth... instead of lamenting the burden of them.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Thinking Makes It So
I wanted to talk today about an idea expressed in Hamlet by William Shakespeare,
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
This is a powerful concept that can improve the quality of our lives dramatically, if we can embrace and practice it's wisdom.
Another way to state this principle is that what happens to us isn't nearly as important as our attitude and perspective towards what happens to us.
We can radically alter our experience of life if we take control of our reactions to the events in our lives. In many cases, we can't control what is happening in our life. The ONLY thing that we can control is our reaction and our response to it.
Labeling something as hopeless and negative restricts our capacity to constructively deal with it. Labeling something 'bad' and 'hopeless' causes our creativity and possibility thinking to shut down.
Looking for the possibility in any situation is what liberates our creative and innovative spirit.
The truth is, we can't possibly know when things happen, what the ultimate outcome will be. Some things that look very bad could turn out to be the best thing to ever happen to us! Some things that look very good could turn out to be big problems.
I believe our job is to not jump to conclusions when things happen to us. We are to accept what happens and do the best we can to constructively respond to whatever crosses our path!
Here's a little teaching story that illuminates this principle:
Good luck, bad luck
A father and his son owned a farm. They did not have many animals, but they did own a horse. One day the horse ran away.
“How terrible, what bad luck,” said the neighbors.
“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.
Several weeks later the horse returned, bringing with him four wild mares.
“What marvelous luck,” said the neighbors.
“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.
The son began to learn to ride the wild horses, but one day he was thrown and broke his leg.
“What bad luck,” said the neighbors.
“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.
The next week the army came to the village to take all the young men to war. The farmer’s son was still disabled with his broken leg, so he was spared. “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”
Fighting and struggling against things that happen to us is not going to get us very far. WE have to adopt a more open approach to what happens to us. Then when really challenging things come upon us, we have all of our resources at our disposal to constructively respond.
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
This is a powerful concept that can improve the quality of our lives dramatically, if we can embrace and practice it's wisdom.
Another way to state this principle is that what happens to us isn't nearly as important as our attitude and perspective towards what happens to us.
We can radically alter our experience of life if we take control of our reactions to the events in our lives. In many cases, we can't control what is happening in our life. The ONLY thing that we can control is our reaction and our response to it.
Labeling something as hopeless and negative restricts our capacity to constructively deal with it. Labeling something 'bad' and 'hopeless' causes our creativity and possibility thinking to shut down.
Looking for the possibility in any situation is what liberates our creative and innovative spirit.
The truth is, we can't possibly know when things happen, what the ultimate outcome will be. Some things that look very bad could turn out to be the best thing to ever happen to us! Some things that look very good could turn out to be big problems.
I believe our job is to not jump to conclusions when things happen to us. We are to accept what happens and do the best we can to constructively respond to whatever crosses our path!
Here's a little teaching story that illuminates this principle:
Good luck, bad luck
A father and his son owned a farm. They did not have many animals, but they did own a horse. One day the horse ran away.
“How terrible, what bad luck,” said the neighbors.
“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.
Several weeks later the horse returned, bringing with him four wild mares.
“What marvelous luck,” said the neighbors.
“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.
The son began to learn to ride the wild horses, but one day he was thrown and broke his leg.
“What bad luck,” said the neighbors.
“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.
The next week the army came to the village to take all the young men to war. The farmer’s son was still disabled with his broken leg, so he was spared. “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”
Fighting and struggling against things that happen to us is not going to get us very far. WE have to adopt a more open approach to what happens to us. Then when really challenging things come upon us, we have all of our resources at our disposal to constructively respond.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Non-violent Resistance is Misunderstood
I had a discussion with a friend today that got me to thinking about the issue of non-violence as a means to change unjust situations.
Many people think that what Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. taught and stood for was passivity in the face of attack.
What Gandhi and King stood for, taught and practiced was "Non-violent RESTISTANCE to Evil." This is anything but passive.
What these great men demonstrated was that you MUST stand against injustice, oppression and violent attacks. You must STAND up. You must refuse to obey with unjust rules and laws. They taught that you must refuse to go along with acts that support and sustain discrimination or racism.
There is nothing passive about resistance. These acts - to refuse to comply with injustice and evil motives of the powerful - require more courage than picking up a stick and fighting back with violence.
The beauty of the non-violent resistance approach is that the abused/oppressed resistor is clean in the struggle. It is easier to expose the dastardly deeds of the aggressor and the oppressor, when the victim STANDS AGAINST the propagator, and does not use violence to fight back.
When an oppressed person or group responds to their oppression with violence, it is easier for the oppressor to justify their acts. They can turn the tables and try to make it look like the victim gives them no choice but to be violent and abusive. Look at the Israeli/Palestinian conflict for a good example of this.
Non-violent resistance is not about just sitting down, doing nothing, and allowing others to beat on you. It is about standing up to them when they come, taking the beating, and letting the inhumanity and the bestiality of their behavior convict them in the eyes of all decent human beings.
That is how India gained its Independence from British Colonial rule. The Indians, under Gandhi's leadership, burned their ID cards, refused to honor laws making Indian's second class citizens in their own country, making salt when it was prohibited for Indians to do so. They took ACTIONS that defied the British colonial rule of their country. They were arrested, beaten, imprisoned... and ultimately, they prevailed.
Apartheid is no more in South Africa, for the same reason.
When the world finally wakes us to unprovoked and hideous injustice, they finally end it. But when there is blame to be shared by both sides, it takes longer to reveal the true villian.
That is the way we change the world.
Not by warring. Not by doing nothing.
There is nothing PASSIVE about Non-violent resistance to evil.
Many people think that what Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. taught and stood for was passivity in the face of attack.
What Gandhi and King stood for, taught and practiced was "Non-violent RESTISTANCE to Evil." This is anything but passive.
What these great men demonstrated was that you MUST stand against injustice, oppression and violent attacks. You must STAND up. You must refuse to obey with unjust rules and laws. They taught that you must refuse to go along with acts that support and sustain discrimination or racism.
There is nothing passive about resistance. These acts - to refuse to comply with injustice and evil motives of the powerful - require more courage than picking up a stick and fighting back with violence.
The beauty of the non-violent resistance approach is that the abused/oppressed resistor is clean in the struggle. It is easier to expose the dastardly deeds of the aggressor and the oppressor, when the victim STANDS AGAINST the propagator, and does not use violence to fight back.
When an oppressed person or group responds to their oppression with violence, it is easier for the oppressor to justify their acts. They can turn the tables and try to make it look like the victim gives them no choice but to be violent and abusive. Look at the Israeli/Palestinian conflict for a good example of this.
Non-violent resistance is not about just sitting down, doing nothing, and allowing others to beat on you. It is about standing up to them when they come, taking the beating, and letting the inhumanity and the bestiality of their behavior convict them in the eyes of all decent human beings.
That is how India gained its Independence from British Colonial rule. The Indians, under Gandhi's leadership, burned their ID cards, refused to honor laws making Indian's second class citizens in their own country, making salt when it was prohibited for Indians to do so. They took ACTIONS that defied the British colonial rule of their country. They were arrested, beaten, imprisoned... and ultimately, they prevailed.
Apartheid is no more in South Africa, for the same reason.
When the world finally wakes us to unprovoked and hideous injustice, they finally end it. But when there is blame to be shared by both sides, it takes longer to reveal the true villian.
That is the way we change the world.
Not by warring. Not by doing nothing.
There is nothing PASSIVE about Non-violent resistance to evil.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Intention is All Important!!!!
I had a conversation with a friend today, who decided the time had come to make a list of all the qualities that she was looking for in a life partner. She wants her intention to be sent out in to the universe.
Without clear, declared intention we are a lot less likely to get what we want in life!!
It is interesting that my friend shared this plan with me today, because I had been having a similar thought process in my mind about the kind of life that I want to live. I was feeling strongly pulled to put down on paper the type of life I intended to live: how much time I wanted to spend working, playing, the quality of energy I wanted to have, etc. I was feeling that I might have been too vague in how I was approaching my days.
I believe the universe speaks to me in a variety of ways. My friend sharing her interest in and commitment to setting her intention around relationship, affirms in me that I'm on the right path with my desire to set clear intentions for my life overall.
I will do this before the week is out! When we feel inspired to do something I believe we should follow the old saying and "strike while the iron is hot!!"
Setting our intentions gives validity and clarity to what we are looking for. In a universe where our thoughts are powerful in affecting and/or determining our reality... it is critically important to be CLEAR in what we are seeking!
It is powerful to set intentions for any and all situations in which we find ourselves in. Whether it is a business meeting, a doctor's appointment, a date... or overall life quality... setting our intentions can only help us!
Be clear about what you are seeking! Set intentions as often as possible!
Without clear, declared intention we are a lot less likely to get what we want in life!!
It is interesting that my friend shared this plan with me today, because I had been having a similar thought process in my mind about the kind of life that I want to live. I was feeling strongly pulled to put down on paper the type of life I intended to live: how much time I wanted to spend working, playing, the quality of energy I wanted to have, etc. I was feeling that I might have been too vague in how I was approaching my days.
I believe the universe speaks to me in a variety of ways. My friend sharing her interest in and commitment to setting her intention around relationship, affirms in me that I'm on the right path with my desire to set clear intentions for my life overall.
I will do this before the week is out! When we feel inspired to do something I believe we should follow the old saying and "strike while the iron is hot!!"
Setting our intentions gives validity and clarity to what we are looking for. In a universe where our thoughts are powerful in affecting and/or determining our reality... it is critically important to be CLEAR in what we are seeking!
It is powerful to set intentions for any and all situations in which we find ourselves in. Whether it is a business meeting, a doctor's appointment, a date... or overall life quality... setting our intentions can only help us!
Be clear about what you are seeking! Set intentions as often as possible!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Making Peace WIth Our Bodies
I had the privilege of being a guest on a radio show today, "Chat With Women" here in Seattle. We were discussing body image and how challenging it can be for women to appreciate and like their bodies, just as they are TODAY! They will have a downloadable MP3 file posted soon on their website if you missed the live broadcast on the radio or internet. Look under Archived shows for the Feb 18th broadcast. I'm the last guest on the show, about 35 minutes into the hour. Chat With Women Website
In fact, I was so excited about the show I forgot to post a blog article for this morning! Oops! Sorry about that! :)
My dream for every woman is that she look in the mirror and absolutely ADORE the person she sees there. As is… TODAY…. Assets as well as perceived ‘flaws.’
I have a goal on my personal goal list every year to “Adore and adorn THIS body AS IT IS TODAY.” This was also a theme for an entire year of my life. (I declare a theme every year, in addition to comprehensive goal setting)
As a former bulimic and someone who has struggled with body image issues and food addiction for most of my life, I have covered a lot of ground in my own recovery and healing, and I have helped countless counseling clients and teenagers with this challenge.
No woman born and raised in this culture emerges unscathed when it comes to body image challenges. We all have distortions in how we look at ourselves - especially our bodies. Many of us have challenges around food that manifest in conditions of overeating or other food related problems. We often equate our appearance with our worth as people. We must work to disconnect this erroneous and dangerous association. The rise of teenagers seeking plastic surgery to ‘fix’ their ‘flaws’ is a major reminder that this sort of inner war on the body is accelerating in our culture and affecting us at younger and younger ages. The way to freedom (and paradoxically the way to the bodies and physical appearances we yearn for) is through radical self acceptance of our bodies just as they are in this moment. From that place of respect and acceptance, we can actually change. We are often taught to hate ourselves for our flaws, and use that energy to whip ourselves into shape. This doesn’t work!! When we hate and fight against our bodies, we can never be free… even if we temporarily achieve the body or appearance of our dreams.
I know many thin, beautiful women who are still trying to ‘fix’ their physical appearance because they aren’t happy with what they see in the mirror. The inner landscape must be tended to and healed in order for us to be able to be free of the ongoing war with our sacred, magnificent bodies. I once heard a speaker (at a conference put on by Shape Magazine on Body Image) who said, “No woman ever criticized the size of her thighs after she climbed a mountain!”
I love to help women embrace their bodies, and their physical form as a precious and miraculous gift to be cherished. From THAT place… real change, for the right reasons… is not only possible… it is inevitable!
Check out my resource list on my website for some great ideas on how to work with body image and eating challenges: Making Peace With Our Bodies - Resource List
In fact, I was so excited about the show I forgot to post a blog article for this morning! Oops! Sorry about that! :)
My dream for every woman is that she look in the mirror and absolutely ADORE the person she sees there. As is… TODAY…. Assets as well as perceived ‘flaws.’
I have a goal on my personal goal list every year to “Adore and adorn THIS body AS IT IS TODAY.” This was also a theme for an entire year of my life. (I declare a theme every year, in addition to comprehensive goal setting)
As a former bulimic and someone who has struggled with body image issues and food addiction for most of my life, I have covered a lot of ground in my own recovery and healing, and I have helped countless counseling clients and teenagers with this challenge.
No woman born and raised in this culture emerges unscathed when it comes to body image challenges. We all have distortions in how we look at ourselves - especially our bodies. Many of us have challenges around food that manifest in conditions of overeating or other food related problems. We often equate our appearance with our worth as people. We must work to disconnect this erroneous and dangerous association. The rise of teenagers seeking plastic surgery to ‘fix’ their ‘flaws’ is a major reminder that this sort of inner war on the body is accelerating in our culture and affecting us at younger and younger ages. The way to freedom (and paradoxically the way to the bodies and physical appearances we yearn for) is through radical self acceptance of our bodies just as they are in this moment. From that place of respect and acceptance, we can actually change. We are often taught to hate ourselves for our flaws, and use that energy to whip ourselves into shape. This doesn’t work!! When we hate and fight against our bodies, we can never be free… even if we temporarily achieve the body or appearance of our dreams.
I know many thin, beautiful women who are still trying to ‘fix’ their physical appearance because they aren’t happy with what they see in the mirror. The inner landscape must be tended to and healed in order for us to be able to be free of the ongoing war with our sacred, magnificent bodies. I once heard a speaker (at a conference put on by Shape Magazine on Body Image) who said, “No woman ever criticized the size of her thighs after she climbed a mountain!”
I love to help women embrace their bodies, and their physical form as a precious and miraculous gift to be cherished. From THAT place… real change, for the right reasons… is not only possible… it is inevitable!
Check out my resource list on my website for some great ideas on how to work with body image and eating challenges: Making Peace With Our Bodies - Resource List
Friday, February 15, 2008
The Wisdom of Yoda
I love to search for spiritual truths in all of the great wisdom traditions of history. I also am known to turn to philosophy, psychology and... movies for spiritual teaching.
Yoda is one of my spiritual teachers. Several years ago, I was given a poster with the "Wisdom of Yoga" on it. It hangs in my office as one of the inspirational messages I offer my counseling clients and visitors.
Here is the poster. Below it, I have pulled out some of my favorite lines to share with you.
The Wisdom of Yoda
Wars not make one great
You must unlearn what you have learned
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try
Luminous beings are we... not this crude matter
That is the way of things... the way of the Force
A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind
Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will
Beware of the dark side. Anger... fear... aggression
You must feel the Force around you
Size matters not
If you choose the quick and easy path... you will become an agent of evil
Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.
Yoda is one of my spiritual teachers. Several years ago, I was given a poster with the "Wisdom of Yoga" on it. It hangs in my office as one of the inspirational messages I offer my counseling clients and visitors.
Here is the poster. Below it, I have pulled out some of my favorite lines to share with you.
The Wisdom of Yoda
Wars not make one great
You must unlearn what you have learned
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try
Luminous beings are we... not this crude matter
That is the way of things... the way of the Force
A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind
Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will
Beware of the dark side. Anger... fear... aggression
You must feel the Force around you
Size matters not
If you choose the quick and easy path... you will become an agent of evil
Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Obama vs Hillary
I have a pet peeve to share with you. I was taught a long time ago that to be respectful to someone you use their last name and their title when you address them.
Mr. Smith
Dr. Davis
Mrs. Jones
Miss Tate
Ms. Marple
You get the picture. In my generation, for example, one would never call a friend's parent by their first name. It simply wasn't done.
Kids could call kids by their first names. Adults could call kids by their first name. Kids were not supposed to call adults by their first names. It was not considered to be respectful.
There is something interesting happening in the democratic presidential race. Have you noticed? People often talk about the race between Obama and Hillary. Why is that? I think it is significant. I have even caught myself doing it. The stunner for me last night was to hear a young, female, African American reporter on CNN speak about "Hillary" and "Obama."
Sexism is so ingrained in our society, at very subtle levels, that it is easy to miss. I'm not saying people are doing this intentionally with Senator Clinton's name. It is simply 'comfortable' and 'normal' to refer to women by their first names, when men are referred to by their last names.
I've had a debate with a few people about which of the democratic candidates would be most viciously attacked by the opposition in the general election. I personally believe that both racism and sexism are deeply imbedded in our society. I do, however, believe that sexism is easier to conceal. It is just so normal to most of us and even those affected by it can't often spot it in action.
The Clinton campaign is even trying to use this phenomenon. I saw a campaign sign today that said, "Hillary for President." Now in all fairness, I'm not sure if this is directly from her campaign, or some local part of her team. It is either part of the same undercurrent of ingrained informality when it comes to women, or it might be intentional. If it's intentional, the theory might be that there is only one Hillary and no one would be confused. Maybe there is a belief that it makes her more personable (to combat many people's discomfort with a strong, aggressive woman being out in public.) Whatever it is, I don't like it. You certainly wouldn't have seen "John for President" (for either Edwards or McCain) signs. You might see a "Barack for President" but you know, I haven't seen a campaign sign like that.
It is interesting to me that we all seem comfortable calling Senator Clinton "Hillary" in conversation, but I've never heard anyone talk about "Barack" in casual conversation. So the argument that the uniqueness of the name is what causes "Hillary" to be acceptable washes out as well. There aren't any other Baracks in the race either.
Some might try to justify the Hillary issue by saying that referring to her as "Clinton" might cause confusion with her husband, Bill, who previously served as president. Using that logic, we wouldn't have used "Bush" to refer to our current president during his campaigns, because of the possible confusion with his father, who had also served as president. That dog don't hunt.
It might be an interesting exercise to watch your language around this question. Are you referring to Senator Clinton as "Hillary" or as "Clinton." Observe to see if you are consistent or not. Do you always refer to her the same way? Do you use both? Let it be a little experiment. A couple of people I've brought this up with have been a little surprised that they were consistently using her first name. It just seemed normal to them. As I said, I have caught myself doing it as well.
I'm just asking you to ponder this question and maybe raise your awareness about it. Not only in this particular situation, but in others also. It may seem like a small thing, but small things add up to be big things. This is a relatively simple undertaking we can all participate in to raise our awareness about an 'invisible' issue... and potentially change the world!
Mr. Smith
Dr. Davis
Mrs. Jones
Miss Tate
Ms. Marple
You get the picture. In my generation, for example, one would never call a friend's parent by their first name. It simply wasn't done.
Kids could call kids by their first names. Adults could call kids by their first name. Kids were not supposed to call adults by their first names. It was not considered to be respectful.
There is something interesting happening in the democratic presidential race. Have you noticed? People often talk about the race between Obama and Hillary. Why is that? I think it is significant. I have even caught myself doing it. The stunner for me last night was to hear a young, female, African American reporter on CNN speak about "Hillary" and "Obama."
Sexism is so ingrained in our society, at very subtle levels, that it is easy to miss. I'm not saying people are doing this intentionally with Senator Clinton's name. It is simply 'comfortable' and 'normal' to refer to women by their first names, when men are referred to by their last names.
I've had a debate with a few people about which of the democratic candidates would be most viciously attacked by the opposition in the general election. I personally believe that both racism and sexism are deeply imbedded in our society. I do, however, believe that sexism is easier to conceal. It is just so normal to most of us and even those affected by it can't often spot it in action.
The Clinton campaign is even trying to use this phenomenon. I saw a campaign sign today that said, "Hillary for President." Now in all fairness, I'm not sure if this is directly from her campaign, or some local part of her team. It is either part of the same undercurrent of ingrained informality when it comes to women, or it might be intentional. If it's intentional, the theory might be that there is only one Hillary and no one would be confused. Maybe there is a belief that it makes her more personable (to combat many people's discomfort with a strong, aggressive woman being out in public.) Whatever it is, I don't like it. You certainly wouldn't have seen "John for President" (for either Edwards or McCain) signs. You might see a "Barack for President" but you know, I haven't seen a campaign sign like that.
It is interesting to me that we all seem comfortable calling Senator Clinton "Hillary" in conversation, but I've never heard anyone talk about "Barack" in casual conversation. So the argument that the uniqueness of the name is what causes "Hillary" to be acceptable washes out as well. There aren't any other Baracks in the race either.
Some might try to justify the Hillary issue by saying that referring to her as "Clinton" might cause confusion with her husband, Bill, who previously served as president. Using that logic, we wouldn't have used "Bush" to refer to our current president during his campaigns, because of the possible confusion with his father, who had also served as president. That dog don't hunt.
It might be an interesting exercise to watch your language around this question. Are you referring to Senator Clinton as "Hillary" or as "Clinton." Observe to see if you are consistent or not. Do you always refer to her the same way? Do you use both? Let it be a little experiment. A couple of people I've brought this up with have been a little surprised that they were consistently using her first name. It just seemed normal to them. As I said, I have caught myself doing it as well.
I'm just asking you to ponder this question and maybe raise your awareness about it. Not only in this particular situation, but in others also. It may seem like a small thing, but small things add up to be big things. This is a relatively simple undertaking we can all participate in to raise our awareness about an 'invisible' issue... and potentially change the world!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Blazing Trails Politically
I have a lot of opinions (strong ones) about politics in this country. I have even more opinions about the foreign policy of the United States with regards to the Middle East... but I'll save that for another day.
What I want to address at this moment, however, is the historic race that we have for the democratic presidential nominee. Regardless of the outcome in the nominating process for the democrats, or the eventual outcome of the presidential race, something important is happening.
There was a time in this country when it would have been impossible for a woman, or an African American man to mount a viable presidential campaign. That time was not so long ago. It simply wouldn't have happened.
We owe a debt of gratitude to these two people regardless of party affiliation or personal opinions about who would make the best president. They are literally blazing a trail in consciousness. They are changing, forever, the political landscape in America. They are rendering possible, something that has never been possible before.
They stand on the shoulders of others who have gone before them blazing various parts of the path that they now stand upon. There have been other African Americans who have entered presidential primaries. There have been women as candidates at other levels of government, including Geraldine Ferraro's Vice Presidential candidacy in 1984. All of these prior events have made possible what we see today.
Obama and Clinton are blazing an entirely new trail in American Politics. It will change our future, regardless of the outcome of this particular contest.
Shannon Faulkner was the first woman to be admitted to the Citadel in 1995. She achieved this by mounting a legal challenge to the prohibition against the admission of female cadets. She won that battle and was admitted. She went through 4 hours of introductory indoctrination, and then spent the rest of her first week in the infirmary, before resigning. The treatment she received at the hands of her male classmates was more than she could take.
Shannon Faulkner, however, deserves the credit for breaking a formidable barrier and blazing a trail that other women have been able to follow with less pain and difficulty. Nancy Mace was the first woman to graduate from the Citadel in 1999. She too, is another trail blazer who took it to the next level. Both women were essential in changing the face of the Citadel. By 2005, 6% of the Citadel’s cadets were women. In 10 years time the landscape has totally changed. It all started with Shannon Faulkner. She was on the very front line of making the change possible. Although she herself did not achieve the goal she set out to attain, she made it possible for every single woman who has come after her to have a shot at that goal. She is a hero, for breaking the 'impossibility barrier.'
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are breaking their own impossibility barriers in American politics. It is an exciting and future forming event that we are witnessing.
Hopefully, we will all witness the day when sex or race are not important considerations in the electability of political candidates. At the present moment, Obama and Clinton are laying the ground work so that day can come sooner, rather than later!
What I want to address at this moment, however, is the historic race that we have for the democratic presidential nominee. Regardless of the outcome in the nominating process for the democrats, or the eventual outcome of the presidential race, something important is happening.
There was a time in this country when it would have been impossible for a woman, or an African American man to mount a viable presidential campaign. That time was not so long ago. It simply wouldn't have happened.
We owe a debt of gratitude to these two people regardless of party affiliation or personal opinions about who would make the best president. They are literally blazing a trail in consciousness. They are changing, forever, the political landscape in America. They are rendering possible, something that has never been possible before.
They stand on the shoulders of others who have gone before them blazing various parts of the path that they now stand upon. There have been other African Americans who have entered presidential primaries. There have been women as candidates at other levels of government, including Geraldine Ferraro's Vice Presidential candidacy in 1984. All of these prior events have made possible what we see today.
Obama and Clinton are blazing an entirely new trail in American Politics. It will change our future, regardless of the outcome of this particular contest.
Shannon Faulkner was the first woman to be admitted to the Citadel in 1995. She achieved this by mounting a legal challenge to the prohibition against the admission of female cadets. She won that battle and was admitted. She went through 4 hours of introductory indoctrination, and then spent the rest of her first week in the infirmary, before resigning. The treatment she received at the hands of her male classmates was more than she could take.
Shannon Faulkner, however, deserves the credit for breaking a formidable barrier and blazing a trail that other women have been able to follow with less pain and difficulty. Nancy Mace was the first woman to graduate from the Citadel in 1999. She too, is another trail blazer who took it to the next level. Both women were essential in changing the face of the Citadel. By 2005, 6% of the Citadel’s cadets were women. In 10 years time the landscape has totally changed. It all started with Shannon Faulkner. She was on the very front line of making the change possible. Although she herself did not achieve the goal she set out to attain, she made it possible for every single woman who has come after her to have a shot at that goal. She is a hero, for breaking the 'impossibility barrier.'
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are breaking their own impossibility barriers in American politics. It is an exciting and future forming event that we are witnessing.
Hopefully, we will all witness the day when sex or race are not important considerations in the electability of political candidates. At the present moment, Obama and Clinton are laying the ground work so that day can come sooner, rather than later!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Lost Claw
My dad used to take me to dig for clams near Garibaldi in Oregon. We would get up at the crack of dawn, load our tools into the back of his Ford pickup truck and set off on our journey. This is how I learned to drink coffee in a moving vehicle without spilling it! We always stopped and had breakfast in some little road side diner along the way. We timed our arrival using the tide books.
The place where we went clamming was a huge boulder filled beach. One always had to move lots of large rocks out of the way to reach the sand where the clam digging was possible.
My father and I did this same routine many times. We had buckets filled with tools, and of course, we each had a normal shovel. Some of our tools were hand tools. Small shovels, picks and claws were among the collection.
Dad always brought this one tool that unbeknownst to me was an antique that might have belonged to his father. I didn't know there was anything special about this particular claw.
On one of our clamming expeditions, that claw ended up in my tool bucket. I was using it as I excavated and extracted my limit of clams. That particular day, we were clamming right up until the moment our holes were swamped by the incoming tide. We collected our belongs and headed up the boulder covered embankment to our truck.
When we arrived home, we washed all our tools to remove the salt before tending to the clams. As we rinsed and inventoried the tools we made an unpleasant discovery. The ancient claw was missing. Somehow I hadn't gotten it back in the tool bucket.
My father was quite upset over this loss. I felt extremely bad when I saw how upset he was. I didn't mean to be careless and I certainly didn't know how important this tool was to my dad. It bothered me every time we went clamming.
About three years after that fateful trip, we were clamming once again on the rocky Garibaldi beach. We got set up and an hour or so later I was working in a particularly fruitful clam hole, pulling one clam out after another. The hole I was working with was filled with murky sea water. As I reached in to the water with my bare hands, I felt something long and skinny. I thought it was probably a stick. I pulled the item out of the hole, and much to my amazement, three was the CLAW! Three years later, and I somehow returned to the exact spot where I had left it. It was rusty and weather beaten, but it was there.
I carried it over to my dad and said, "Here. I don't want to hear any more about this dang claw!"
He was as shocked as I was! We both started laughing and shaking our heads in amazement.
This beach was not small. The possible spots to dig for clams on that beach were unlimited! Yet, somehow, I found my way back to the very spot where I had lost the coveted item.
It was a great reminder to me that miracles do happen, and that even things long lost... can be found and recovered.
There is always hope!
The place where we went clamming was a huge boulder filled beach. One always had to move lots of large rocks out of the way to reach the sand where the clam digging was possible.
My father and I did this same routine many times. We had buckets filled with tools, and of course, we each had a normal shovel. Some of our tools were hand tools. Small shovels, picks and claws were among the collection.
Dad always brought this one tool that unbeknownst to me was an antique that might have belonged to his father. I didn't know there was anything special about this particular claw.
On one of our clamming expeditions, that claw ended up in my tool bucket. I was using it as I excavated and extracted my limit of clams. That particular day, we were clamming right up until the moment our holes were swamped by the incoming tide. We collected our belongs and headed up the boulder covered embankment to our truck.
When we arrived home, we washed all our tools to remove the salt before tending to the clams. As we rinsed and inventoried the tools we made an unpleasant discovery. The ancient claw was missing. Somehow I hadn't gotten it back in the tool bucket.
My father was quite upset over this loss. I felt extremely bad when I saw how upset he was. I didn't mean to be careless and I certainly didn't know how important this tool was to my dad. It bothered me every time we went clamming.
About three years after that fateful trip, we were clamming once again on the rocky Garibaldi beach. We got set up and an hour or so later I was working in a particularly fruitful clam hole, pulling one clam out after another. The hole I was working with was filled with murky sea water. As I reached in to the water with my bare hands, I felt something long and skinny. I thought it was probably a stick. I pulled the item out of the hole, and much to my amazement, three was the CLAW! Three years later, and I somehow returned to the exact spot where I had left it. It was rusty and weather beaten, but it was there.
I carried it over to my dad and said, "Here. I don't want to hear any more about this dang claw!"
He was as shocked as I was! We both started laughing and shaking our heads in amazement.
This beach was not small. The possible spots to dig for clams on that beach were unlimited! Yet, somehow, I found my way back to the very spot where I had lost the coveted item.
It was a great reminder to me that miracles do happen, and that even things long lost... can be found and recovered.
There is always hope!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Dad's Driving School
Freedom is the single most important word in my personal vocabulary. In my teenage years, I got my initial taste of significant freedom when I purchased my first car. Bright orange would not have been my preference for the ideal color of my ride, but being a sixteen year old restaurant worker, I was operating on a meager budget. In 1980 the colors of the seventies dominated the used car market. Orange had been all the rage in the disco decade. I had to suffer the consequences.
I had saved $1,000 to put towards a car. My father had agreed to loan me the rest of what I would need to solidify the liberation that came with my recently acquired driver’s license. So the shopping began.
Early on a Saturday morning, my dad and I went to look at the 1975, orange, Datsun B210 hatchback. The newspaper ad showed the asking price at $2,300. When we arrived at the seller's home, my father looked over the car, decided that the tires needed to be replaced and asked the owner to knock $50 off the price. He, of course, jumped at the offer and with that, I had purchased my first car.
The only drawback, in my mind, besides the hideous orange color, was the fact that this car had a standard transmission, and I didn’t know how to drive one. My father assured me that this wasn’t a problem and he could teach me quickly how to drive this type of vehicle. I shuddered inside as I thought about the coming ordeal to learn to drive a more complex vehicle than our 1973 Ford Thunderbird with its power steering and automatic transmission.
After completing the transaction with the car’s previous owner, my father drove my car home and I followed him in the T-bird. I parked our family car in the driveway and dad pulled my new car in behind me. I jumped into the passenger seat of my new car. I knew it was time for my first driving lesson in my new car. My dad wasn’t one for wasting time. When something needed to be done, you just did it, no questions asked.
Dad drove the car out to the junior high school parking lot and we traded seats. My father was a no nonsense kind of guy. He wasn’t very patient and he demanded immediate competency when he set out to teach me something new. I felt extremely nervous as he started to explain how to work the clutch and the gas in concert with each other. I did my best to follow his instructions and I fumbled around with the new driving landscape that included the strange extra peddle.
After fifteen minutes of lurching and jerking around the empty parking lot, dad told me I was ready to head out on the open highway and head to my uncle’s farm 30 miles away. Was he joking? I argued with him a little, but to be honest, I knew better than to try that. This was his way of teaching me everything: he provided a few basic instructions and then threw me into the deep end. He expected me to swim immediately, and not whine about it either!
As I maneuvered out of the parking lot and onto a real road I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. I really didn’t know what I was doing. The first red light was more than traumatic. I killed the engine, with several cars lined up behind me, of course, and it took several attempts before I finally had us moving again. Thankfully, we lived in a small, friendly town and no one honked to further traumatize me.
I was relieved as I drove out of our little town and headed into the countryside. Thank God there were no more stop lights to contend with until we reached the next hick town along our route. As we approached the next town, I started feeling anxiety about whether I would get stopped at the one traffic light that existed there. The light was green as I approached and I was feeling a little more confident. That is, until my dad told me to turn off onto a side street and pull over. The unexpected stop proved challenging. As I rounded the corner, per my instructions, I found myself heading up a giant hill! I pulled the car to the curb, wondering what my dad was up to, and my watched him jump out of the car. He ran into the corner market leaving me to wonder what the heck was going on. It became obvious when he emerged from the store with a six pack of Bud light beer in his hands!
“I need this if I’m gonna make it through this drive!”
I started wondering what the cops would do to a new driver who was caught with an open container of alcohol in her car. Dad had more pressing concerns and evidently was willing to take the risk on my behalf!
Starting that car on the immense hill proved to be impossible for me. After more than a few attempts, my dad had me put the car in neutral and let it roll backwards down the hill and around the corner, so that I could pull forward on a flat surface.
We took off with me focused on the laborious mechanics of letting out the clutch, giving it the gas, driving a little ways and doing it again when the next gear was needed. With no more towns in our path, we lurched and jerked our way to my uncle’s farm, twenty miles and 3 beers away.
My father was immensely proud of me as we pulled in to my uncle’s driveway. His empty beer cans on the floor and a grin on his face from ear to ear let me know his feelings. Words weren’t needed.
My uncle came running out to congratulate me on my new car and my grand achievement of driving a stick shift for the first time! I felt a special kind of pride in my accomplishment as these two important men in my life oohed and awed over my car… and my successful virgin voyage as the captain of my own ship.
I recall that experience often when I am facing a new challenge in my life. I remind myself that I can do anything if I try hard enough. My dad taught me that it just takes willingness and perseverance to attain any goal. My entry to driving a standard transmission vehicle could have been gentler and more gradual, but that wasn’t my dad’s style. Although there are times in my life when I might have wished for a bit more hand holding and coddling from him, I’m actually quite grateful that my father taught me things the way he did. I’m strong and resilient partly because of the way he approached my education in the school called life. I don’t know who I would be if he’d done it any differently.
I had saved $1,000 to put towards a car. My father had agreed to loan me the rest of what I would need to solidify the liberation that came with my recently acquired driver’s license. So the shopping began.
Early on a Saturday morning, my dad and I went to look at the 1975, orange, Datsun B210 hatchback. The newspaper ad showed the asking price at $2,300. When we arrived at the seller's home, my father looked over the car, decided that the tires needed to be replaced and asked the owner to knock $50 off the price. He, of course, jumped at the offer and with that, I had purchased my first car.
The only drawback, in my mind, besides the hideous orange color, was the fact that this car had a standard transmission, and I didn’t know how to drive one. My father assured me that this wasn’t a problem and he could teach me quickly how to drive this type of vehicle. I shuddered inside as I thought about the coming ordeal to learn to drive a more complex vehicle than our 1973 Ford Thunderbird with its power steering and automatic transmission.
After completing the transaction with the car’s previous owner, my father drove my car home and I followed him in the T-bird. I parked our family car in the driveway and dad pulled my new car in behind me. I jumped into the passenger seat of my new car. I knew it was time for my first driving lesson in my new car. My dad wasn’t one for wasting time. When something needed to be done, you just did it, no questions asked.
Dad drove the car out to the junior high school parking lot and we traded seats. My father was a no nonsense kind of guy. He wasn’t very patient and he demanded immediate competency when he set out to teach me something new. I felt extremely nervous as he started to explain how to work the clutch and the gas in concert with each other. I did my best to follow his instructions and I fumbled around with the new driving landscape that included the strange extra peddle.
After fifteen minutes of lurching and jerking around the empty parking lot, dad told me I was ready to head out on the open highway and head to my uncle’s farm 30 miles away. Was he joking? I argued with him a little, but to be honest, I knew better than to try that. This was his way of teaching me everything: he provided a few basic instructions and then threw me into the deep end. He expected me to swim immediately, and not whine about it either!
As I maneuvered out of the parking lot and onto a real road I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. I really didn’t know what I was doing. The first red light was more than traumatic. I killed the engine, with several cars lined up behind me, of course, and it took several attempts before I finally had us moving again. Thankfully, we lived in a small, friendly town and no one honked to further traumatize me.
I was relieved as I drove out of our little town and headed into the countryside. Thank God there were no more stop lights to contend with until we reached the next hick town along our route. As we approached the next town, I started feeling anxiety about whether I would get stopped at the one traffic light that existed there. The light was green as I approached and I was feeling a little more confident. That is, until my dad told me to turn off onto a side street and pull over. The unexpected stop proved challenging. As I rounded the corner, per my instructions, I found myself heading up a giant hill! I pulled the car to the curb, wondering what my dad was up to, and my watched him jump out of the car. He ran into the corner market leaving me to wonder what the heck was going on. It became obvious when he emerged from the store with a six pack of Bud light beer in his hands!
“I need this if I’m gonna make it through this drive!”
I started wondering what the cops would do to a new driver who was caught with an open container of alcohol in her car. Dad had more pressing concerns and evidently was willing to take the risk on my behalf!
Starting that car on the immense hill proved to be impossible for me. After more than a few attempts, my dad had me put the car in neutral and let it roll backwards down the hill and around the corner, so that I could pull forward on a flat surface.
We took off with me focused on the laborious mechanics of letting out the clutch, giving it the gas, driving a little ways and doing it again when the next gear was needed. With no more towns in our path, we lurched and jerked our way to my uncle’s farm, twenty miles and 3 beers away.
My father was immensely proud of me as we pulled in to my uncle’s driveway. His empty beer cans on the floor and a grin on his face from ear to ear let me know his feelings. Words weren’t needed.
My uncle came running out to congratulate me on my new car and my grand achievement of driving a stick shift for the first time! I felt a special kind of pride in my accomplishment as these two important men in my life oohed and awed over my car… and my successful virgin voyage as the captain of my own ship.
I recall that experience often when I am facing a new challenge in my life. I remind myself that I can do anything if I try hard enough. My dad taught me that it just takes willingness and perseverance to attain any goal. My entry to driving a standard transmission vehicle could have been gentler and more gradual, but that wasn’t my dad’s style. Although there are times in my life when I might have wished for a bit more hand holding and coddling from him, I’m actually quite grateful that my father taught me things the way he did. I’m strong and resilient partly because of the way he approached my education in the school called life. I don’t know who I would be if he’d done it any differently.
Friday, February 08, 2008
A Blob of Rice Saves the Day
Yesterday was a really busy, flustered day for me. I had several appointments and a variety of tasks to accomplish. I had the oil in my car changed the day before, and discovered that the oil change technicians had left a piece hanging from the bottom of my vehicle! The unexpected return to the oil change place threw another monkey wrench into my schedule.
I found myself picking up dinner to go, which I ate in my car on my way to my financial planning/stock market class. I settled on Japanese stir fried vegetables and steamed rice. It is one of my favorite meals and I don't get to eat it nearly enough!
Eating stir fried vegetables and rice as you drive down the freeway is not something that happens effortlessly. As you might imagine, it is tricky at best, stupid (and dangerous) most likely! I tend to be stubborn about such things, however, and I really wanted that particular meal after my trying day.
I tucked my napkin into my shirt, so that I could shovel the bits in without dumping residue down the front of my blouse. That worked pretty well. I was careful as I ate, and usually waited until I was stopped in traffic to take each bite.
I actually managed quite nicely, until one particular lump of steamed rice slipped off my plastic fork, bounced off my leg and slid down between my seat and the center console. Dang it! I thought about the fate of this rice blob. I tried to reach down and grab it, but each time I touched it I felt it slide further towards the inaccessible zone. Would it still be there when I next have my car detailed, to gross out the poor soul vacuuming under the seats? As if driving and eating wasn't dangerous enough, now I was contemplating a complicated extraction of this non-solid, slippery object! I decided to let it go until I was safely parked somewhere.
I arrived at class, and had just enough time to run in and get settled before it started. The rice blob would have to wait.
After class, I drove home and pulled in to the dark garage. The light over my car is burnt out, so I knew that I wouldn't be able to see what I was doing if I attempted to solve my problem at that moment. The rice blob would have to wait.
This morning, when I pulled the car out of my garage, I knew my moment had arrived. It was time to try and get the rice blob out. I hoped it would have hardened up a bit overnight, so that it wouldn't break into a bunch of little pieces and scatter under my seat.
As I peered down into the crack between my seat and the console, I could see where the rice blog was lodged. I started feeling like this endeavor would be successful.
At that moment, something caught my eye. A few glints of metal just to the right of the rice blob, right behind the seat belt receptacle caught the light. My heart leaped a bit. I reached down and there was my 'Jawbone' blue tooth headset that I lost back in November! It is mostly black, and it was lodged between the seat belt receptacle/seat and the console. It was standing on end, so it was very small. The only thing that made it visible were the little metal spots that connect to the charger!
I have been looking for that since November! I absolutely hate losing things. Beyond that, these little suckers are expensive! $125 - $150 each! I have two of them because, well, I talk on the phone a lot... especially when I'm driving! Having two allows me always have one fully charged. When I lost that headset, it totally disrupted my routine. I was too upset to go buy another one. It is a serious indulgence to have two. I simply couldn't justify buying another one because of my carelessness!
I had looked between the seat and console no less than 15 times searching for that thing! I don't have any idea why I couldn't see it before this morning. Perhaps I moved it when I was poking around trying to find the rice blob. Or, maybe I had never looked as deep into the void before that moment.
All I know is that I am now eternally grateful that I dropped that blob of rice down there! It saved me $150!! When I first made the mistake, I was upset with myself. I felt foolish and was unhappy with my decision to try to eat and drive at the same time.
As is so often the case, however, my 'mistake' and the inconvenience that resulted from it created the conditions for something good to happen to me! That 'mistake' solved a problem that I had been living with for 3 months! Suddenly, what had been a foolish, careless mistake, turned in to the solution of a longer standing challenge!
This is often the case in life. We never know what is going to be 'the answer' or where that answer might come from. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. We often can't see it immediately. This is where faith comes in. I often try to remember this when I'm driving and get delayed somehow. Who knows, maybe that delay is preventing me from being in an accident. Or maybe the delay is going to put me in exactly the right place at exactly the right time for something wonderful to happen!
I am now very happy that I dropped the blob of rice in my car. Partly because it helped me find my headset and partly because it reminded me that even things that seem silly and insignificant can be quite profound!
I found myself picking up dinner to go, which I ate in my car on my way to my financial planning/stock market class. I settled on Japanese stir fried vegetables and steamed rice. It is one of my favorite meals and I don't get to eat it nearly enough!
Eating stir fried vegetables and rice as you drive down the freeway is not something that happens effortlessly. As you might imagine, it is tricky at best, stupid (and dangerous) most likely! I tend to be stubborn about such things, however, and I really wanted that particular meal after my trying day.
I tucked my napkin into my shirt, so that I could shovel the bits in without dumping residue down the front of my blouse. That worked pretty well. I was careful as I ate, and usually waited until I was stopped in traffic to take each bite.
I actually managed quite nicely, until one particular lump of steamed rice slipped off my plastic fork, bounced off my leg and slid down between my seat and the center console. Dang it! I thought about the fate of this rice blob. I tried to reach down and grab it, but each time I touched it I felt it slide further towards the inaccessible zone. Would it still be there when I next have my car detailed, to gross out the poor soul vacuuming under the seats? As if driving and eating wasn't dangerous enough, now I was contemplating a complicated extraction of this non-solid, slippery object! I decided to let it go until I was safely parked somewhere.
I arrived at class, and had just enough time to run in and get settled before it started. The rice blob would have to wait.
After class, I drove home and pulled in to the dark garage. The light over my car is burnt out, so I knew that I wouldn't be able to see what I was doing if I attempted to solve my problem at that moment. The rice blob would have to wait.
This morning, when I pulled the car out of my garage, I knew my moment had arrived. It was time to try and get the rice blob out. I hoped it would have hardened up a bit overnight, so that it wouldn't break into a bunch of little pieces and scatter under my seat.
As I peered down into the crack between my seat and the console, I could see where the rice blog was lodged. I started feeling like this endeavor would be successful.
At that moment, something caught my eye. A few glints of metal just to the right of the rice blob, right behind the seat belt receptacle caught the light. My heart leaped a bit. I reached down and there was my 'Jawbone' blue tooth headset that I lost back in November! It is mostly black, and it was lodged between the seat belt receptacle/seat and the console. It was standing on end, so it was very small. The only thing that made it visible were the little metal spots that connect to the charger!
I have been looking for that since November! I absolutely hate losing things. Beyond that, these little suckers are expensive! $125 - $150 each! I have two of them because, well, I talk on the phone a lot... especially when I'm driving! Having two allows me always have one fully charged. When I lost that headset, it totally disrupted my routine. I was too upset to go buy another one. It is a serious indulgence to have two. I simply couldn't justify buying another one because of my carelessness!
I had looked between the seat and console no less than 15 times searching for that thing! I don't have any idea why I couldn't see it before this morning. Perhaps I moved it when I was poking around trying to find the rice blob. Or, maybe I had never looked as deep into the void before that moment.
All I know is that I am now eternally grateful that I dropped that blob of rice down there! It saved me $150!! When I first made the mistake, I was upset with myself. I felt foolish and was unhappy with my decision to try to eat and drive at the same time.
As is so often the case, however, my 'mistake' and the inconvenience that resulted from it created the conditions for something good to happen to me! That 'mistake' solved a problem that I had been living with for 3 months! Suddenly, what had been a foolish, careless mistake, turned in to the solution of a longer standing challenge!
This is often the case in life. We never know what is going to be 'the answer' or where that answer might come from. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. We often can't see it immediately. This is where faith comes in. I often try to remember this when I'm driving and get delayed somehow. Who knows, maybe that delay is preventing me from being in an accident. Or maybe the delay is going to put me in exactly the right place at exactly the right time for something wonderful to happen!
I am now very happy that I dropped the blob of rice in my car. Partly because it helped me find my headset and partly because it reminded me that even things that seem silly and insignificant can be quite profound!
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