Taking Time Off

The holiday season is upon us. I find my days getting busier and busier as the time of gift giving and family visits approach at lightening speed!

I'm going to take a little time off from blogging to devote my time to the activities of the season.

I'll be back soon...

Happy Holidays to all!

Contagious Giving

I wanted to pass along this great article on how generosity can be contagious. This is what the holidays are all about... or should be anyway!

Mystery Pair at Diner Spark Cascade of Giving

Comic Relief

I wanted to share this letter to Santa that I wrote when I was 8 years old. It proves that my opinionated and 'verbal' courage started very early in life. Enjoy!



Happy Holidays!

Continuity

I'm working on a project to scan a lot of old family photos and preserve them digitally. I'm having a ball reliving my childhood, exploring the youth of my mother and father, and connecting to the energy of all my ancestors. It's a great project to facilitate self discovery!

I came across a delightful picture of my grandmother, for whom I was named. Her name was Nola Joy. Mine is Nola Gay.

Check out these pictures! My grandma was photographed around 1905. My photo was taken over 60 years later.

What struck me most about the photos, is that we are sitting in the same position!

Nola Joy


Nola Gay


It's not the most lady-like of poses! It's still my favorite position to sit in to this day. It just feels 'right.'

To see her sitting that way, so long ago, showed me that many of my traits come from my lineage. I've had countless examples of it in the past... but this visual reminder was comforting. I'm certain I never saw my grandmother sit this way! As a girl growing up, I was corrected for sitting this way on more than one occasion. Yet... she did it... and I do it.

My family is full of independent, strong women. I'm proud to take my place in this long line of amazing women. Seeing my grandma's photo, and comparing it to my own, helps me claim it even more!

Celebrate the positive and unique traits that you have received from your ancestors and those who raised and influenced you!

What it Takes to Appreciate

Our weather in the Seattle area is very cold at present. I mean REALLY cold!

A couple weeks ago, I needed to drop my car off for service. It was a bright, sunny day, so I decided to walk about 2 miles to meet a friend for lunch. Although it was a gloriously beautiful day, it was cold and windy.

My walk proved to be rather uncomfortable, from a temperature related perspective! My ears and nose were extremely cold by the time I arrived at my destination.

I'll tell you what though - walking in to that warm restaurant felt wonderful! I go to that restaurant pretty frequently, but until that day, I never appreciated the warmth that greeted me when I walked through the door.

Nothing like being freezing cold to help you appreciate being in a warm place.

Sometimes I think that's why we have some of the extremes in life. We can't really appreciate being relaxed, unless we experience times of stress. We can't fully enjoy being loved if we haven't also spent some time feeling alone and lonely. The list could go on and on. For any pleasant experience in life, there is an equivalent negative. Without experiencing each side of the coin, we wouldn't know just how fortunate we are when the good experience appears.

I'm enjoying the cold weather, even though it's bringing me some strange problems, like a frozen water valve, delays in getting my gutters and windows cleaned, and the inevitably higher heating bills.

When I stand over my heat vent, or in front of my fireplace and bask in the warmth, I'm thankful that I have a warm place to be! Many don't have that privilege.

Next time you're experiencing an extreme... remember that nothing lasts forever. Everything is impermanent. Life is change. The heat wave of today will eventually yield to a cold spell. The snow storm of today will eventually yield to a mellow, spring day. It's all part of life.

Life Happens

I watched a great movie last night, "Mr. Holland's Opus." There are many great lessons in that movie.

In the movie, Mr. Holland, a high school band teacher, sings and signs a song to his deaf son during a concert. He sings John Lennon's song, "Beautiful Boy."

There is a line in the song that is worth reflection, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

I think at age 45, I'm finally beginning to understand what that means.

There are some days, when I feel I should be doing something more important with my time, or when I'm feeling overwhelmed by my 'to do list' and I just stop myself and say (often out loud), "Nola! THIS is your life! THIS IS IT! This is where you are meant to be right now. This is what you are supposed to be doing."

It helps with that restlessness and discontent that sometimes is present more often than it should be.

It really is true. For the most part, life is not grandiose. Surely some grand things happen to us in life, but for the most part, our lives are comprised of an endless stream of ordinary moments. Moments that can be lost to us if we spend all our time thinking we should be elsewhere.

This stream of moments however, weaves together into what can be a beautiful tapestry. All that is required is that we notice each moment and appreciate what it has to offer.

The good. The bad.
The bitter. The sweet.
The joyous. The sad.
The comforting. The painful.
The exciting. The boring.
The hot. The cold.
The exhilarating. The frustrating.
The peaceful. The angry.
The calm. The stormy.

Each moment has it's meaning, no matter how insignificant it might seem. They all matter. Each and every moment matters.

LIVE YOUR MOMENTS. THIS is... your LIFE.

The Kindness that Heals

Last year, when my home was burglarized, it was a really tough time for me. Dealing with the insurance, and my security concerns was a bit overwhelming. One of the first days after the burglary I went to a restaurant for lunch. It is a restaurant that I frequent. The waiter knew me as a regular, as did the manager.

I was feeling very vulnerable and a bit 'beat up.' I mentioned to my waiter that my home had been burglarized. He looked concerned and said he was very sorry.

I ordered my lunch. While I ate my lunch I worked on the insurance claim. It was a tough moment in my life's history.

The time came when my bill should arrive at the table. It hadn't come. Eventually, my waiter came by and said, "The manager wants to buy your lunch today. He's really sorry for what happened to you... and so am I."

I almost burst into tears. I did, in fact, get teary eyed. It touched my heart that two people I barely knew wanted to do something nice for me, simply because I'd experienced a hardship in my life.

It was such a simple act, yet for me, in the midst of a dark time, it lifted me. It made a difference that is hard for me to put into words.

It doesn't take much to make a difference in another person's life.

What simple act could you do today to lift some one's spirits? Go for it!

I'm Fascinated by What is Left

Last night, I was watching a movie called The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants II. One of the young women, who's mother committed suicide, is participating an archaeological dig on her summer break. She is having a bit of a struggle, and is befriended by the woman who is leading the dig. During a conversation one day about how to relate to one's past, the older woman tells Bridgette that she too has lost people... as well as her home, to a bloody and horrible war... and that it has fueled her passion for archeology, because she is "just fascinated by what is left."

I was touched by this line. Having traveled in the middle east so much, I have met many people who have lost more than you or I could ever imagine losing. Yet, they too, often have a passion and enthusiasm for the simple pleasures offered us by life.

Our 'oh so complex' lives sometimes overwhelm us and pull us away from what is important. We forget to enjoy what we do have, as we focus on all that we don't have. We have a tendency to focus on what is lost, rather than on what is left.

What a shift in perspective that offers us! We can focus on what is left, rather than what is gone. We can focus on what we have, rather than what we don't have. We can focus on what we have in front of us, rather than on what is behind us. We can focus on who is still with us, rather than those who are gone.

It offers us a totally new way of relating to what is... right in front of us.

Next time you think about the failed relationship, the betrayal, the abandonment, the loss, the struggle, the pain, the fear... try shifting to what's left.

See how it changes everything!

Adaptation

The other day, I walked 2 miles through town to meet a friend for lunch. I had dropped off my car for service. It was a gorgeous day, and I decided to take advantage of the rare opportunity in Seattle winter to walk in the sunshine.

It was a cold day, and I walked fast to keep warm. I was walking through an area with a lot of strip malls and development. Not the most attractive area to be taking a winter stroll.

As I walked along, I noticed a little stream flowing off to my left. It turned into a larger and larger flow of water. I came to a little bridge that crossed the stream. There, in the water, was a heron! Right there in the middle of the city! This bird was standing in the water, 10 feet from a 5 lane road, hunting for food. The sound of the cars whizzing by was undeniable. Yet, here was this wild creature... surviving with what it had to work with. I was impressed.

His or her habitat has been taken over by humans, yet this creature perseveres. It has adjusted to the changes, and lives on. Is it ideal... probably not. Is it comfortable... most definitely not. Yet... the creatures lives on.

We could take a lesson from this Heron. We can't control what happens around us. We can curl up and die, or we can adapt. I say... we adapt!

The Ugly Marks are Gone!

Last spring, I went to a charity car wash and let a bunch of kid's wash my car to raise money for their sports team. I was a little nervous, because the hoard of kids descended on my car with a lot of sticks with cleaning rags/mops on them. The 'clanking' sound didn't soothe me, as they moved quickly and beat on my car... I worried. There were adults supervising them, and they didn't seem to be concerned. I assumed it was OK.

I was trying to be nice and support the kids.

When I got home later that day, I noticed that I had a lot of black scuff marks all over my car! I was... UPSET!

Today, many, many months later, I went to the body shop to have a little problem fixed. As an after thought, I asked him about the scuffs on my car. I asked if it had damaged the paint, or if it was possible to get them off. The guy said, "No problem" and walked to his workbench, put some liquid on a cloth and proceeded to go all around my car and remove all the scuff marks! It took all of 5 minutes.

I have agonized about those marks, and what it might take to remove them. I feared being told that I'd need to repaint the car. My $10 car wash would have increased in price by a orders of magnitude! Instead... it was a 'free fix' that took very few minutes. WOW!

How often do we blow our problems out of proportion? How often do we 'write stories' about how big our problems really are, when the aren't that big, after all? Often, I suspect.

Got any scary looking black marks in your life? Fearing that it will cost you an arm and a leg to fix them? Maybe you should get another opinion!!!

We All Have It

As I grow older, I'm becoming more and more aware that we all truly believe we're 'different' and the truth is we are all remarkably similar!

At some level...

We all have more going for us than we believe we do.

We all have inner challenges, stresses and darkness that we think no one else has.

We all think that other people have it together, and we aren't like them.

We all fear that if people really knew us in all our weirdness, they would probably think twice about loving us or caring about us.

We all think no one has the same defects that we have.

We all think we are so different that no one could ever REALLY understand us.

Sound familiar?

I'm truly coming to the understanding that there is nothing new under the sun, we all have stuff inside us that we wish wasn't there and we don't believe other people deal with. We're wrong!

Everyone has 'stuff' inside them that is dark, difficult and causes us discomfort. It's part of the human condition.

As I'm coming more fully into acceptance of this idea, a funny thing is happening. I'm lightening up on myself!

That doesn't mean I don't want to improve and deal with what is mine to deal with. It just means that I am not so dang critical of myself all the time.

When we compare ourselves to the 'ideal' version of other people that we create in our heads, we can never measure up. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and everyone has their demons to wrestle with.

If we all were more willing to acknowledge that fact, we'd all be better off!

When we compare ourselves to unrealistic, impossible ideals we can't measure up. When we constantly feel 'less than' we can act out in strange ways.

You're normal! I'm normal! We're all normal! Let's just live our lives and relax about it all!

Checking the Warning Light

Cars these days have lots of 'indicator lights' to alert you to problem conditions.

The fancier the car, the more indicator lights you will find.

On just about all cars, there is the ever ominous 'check engine' light. That one always strikes a little fear in the unhappy eye of the beholder.

There are indicators for a door left ajar, a seat belt left undone and any host of other 'error conditions.'

For quite some time I have had an indicator light coming on to warn me of a problem with one of my tires. It used to come on every few months. Now, it is coming on every few times I drive the car.

I have had it checked out before, when it was extremely infrequent. No authentic problem was uncovered. Recently I became more concerned because of how often it has been occurring.

I decided to take the time to get it checked out... just in case. It wasn't convenient and it probably wasn't necessary. I just wanted to be sure.

Remember the old saying, 'An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?" I believe in that saying.

What if I ignored the warning light and just assumed it was a false alarm? I could be right, but I could be wrong. The 'wrong' in this case could be devastating. I wasn't willing to take that risk.

Sometimes 'warnings' in our life turn out to be nothing, but it still worth 'checking them out...' THOROUGHLY before overriding them.

A lot of times the warnings are real and we can save ourselves a heap of trouble by heeding the warning and taking corrective action. The times when we have a 'false alarm' might be inconvenient, but they are a small price to pay for developing sound practices that will serve us well in the long run.

Got any flashing warning lights vying for your attention? Pay attention and check them out. Take action if you need to. If it's a false alarm, brush off the minor inconvenience of checking it out... and move on!

Facing It

I am amazed at the lengths that we humans go to, in searching for a way to not face the things within ourselves that need to be faced.

We all do it. All of us.

I truly believe life is about growing and evolving spiritually and psychologically. To me, that's the entire point of existence. Everything we do in this life, is an opportunity to grow, evolve and participate in the evolution of our collective consciousness. As we expand, the universe expands.

When we refuse to participate, we miss out on a golden opportunity.

We're all so afraid of facing our demons. We will do almost anything to avoid having to deal with the parts of ourselves that are rigid and resistant. For some reason it scares us, makes us uncomfortable, and many of us are simply unwilling to 'go there.'

We might have to change something. We might have to speak up. We might have to give up something that we are addictively dependent upon.

Yet, I believe that those areas we most fear dealing with, are the areas where there is the most to be gained from boldy stepping in to an engagement.

I've heard that certain types of armor only protect the front of the body, not the back. I have to believe that this is because we were created to FACE things head on and not to run away.

When we avoid and resist, we are running away. Ultimately, that isn't how we are made. It doesn't feel 'good' or 'right' to act that way.

Facing fear... facing danger... is not easy. It is, however, entirely possible.

The dark corners in us need to be looked at, embraced, and dealt with.

Turn and face whatever it is. Do it now. You won't believe how much better you will feel once you have done it!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble Gobble!

Enjoy a day filled with gratitude and thanksgiving!

The Blind Side

I just saw a movie today that is destined to be one of my all time favorites! It is a true story that will uplift and inspire even the most down trodden spirit.

It is the story of a strong willed southern woman who decides to make a difference in a homeless young man's life. It is... simply SWEET!

I'm not going to say more, because I don't want to spoil the movie.

I cannot recommend it highly enough.

See the movie, and let it inspire you to do something kind for someone... anyone.

The world needs more people like Leigh Anne & Sean Tuohy, their family and their community. Wow.

Check out the Blind Side Trailer:

The Blind Side Trailer

Love in a Jar of Pickled Herring

When I open my fridge and see it there, I smile. Each and every time I reach for it, a warm, cozy feeling washes over me.

Who would think that a jar of pickled herring could have such an affect?

You see, my dad used to pretty much always have a jar of pickled herring in his fridge. He always left a single toothpick stuck in a piece of fish in the jar, to use to extract the pieces that were to be eaten.

We had a ritual to eat that herring together. He'd open the jar, pick out a piece of fish with a toothpick and let me take it off the toothpick to eat. Then he'd get himself a piece. Just one piece. On a rare occasion we might eat two!

Such a simple thing. Yet it is a powerful positive memory for me.

I go out of my way to buy jars of pickled herring. I do like to eat it, but it's far more important to me to feel that sweet connection with my dad.

Never underestimate the simple things you do with your kids that will live with them forever. It doesn't take much to create a life long memory.

What's your jar of pickled herring? How can you share special moments with your kids, loved ones or friends that they will remember forever?

Make a memory today!

The Lesson in the Bump

I believe that we get messages from life all the time. God, the Universe, our higher selves... whatever we want to call it - there is something more happening around us than meets the eye. Higher intelligence and wisdom is ever present and is involved in the direction of our days.

The messages that remind us of this come in various forms of experience.

Many years ago, I was rear ended as I sat waiting at a stop light. It's always a shock when you have a car accident. The impact... the jolt... the sort of sick feeling in your stomach - it's not something we experience every day!

I've been hit by other drivers a few times in my life. This time it was pretty minor. I was sitting still, waiting for the light and the other car wasn't moving very fast. It was a bump from behind. It did minor damage to my car. All, in all it was no big deal.

Except, that the person who hit me was someone I knew! She and I were volunteer counselors together at a mental health center in another town. Literally the only time I ever saw this woman was during our weekly staff meetings at the mental health center! Here we were in another town, an area where she and I had never connected before, and she hits me with her car!

What are the odds of something like that happening? Let's recount the facts:

* I was hit while driving in my car
* The person who hit me was someone I knew
* The context within which I knew this person was quite limited
* We were 10 miles away from the only place that she and I ever saw each other
* Not only was she in the same geographic region as me that day...
* but she HIT MY CAR with HERS!

Amazing! No one can tell me that it was 'random.' How many people are alive on this planet? Millions and millions is the answer! How many people drive around the areas I drive each day. Thousands and thousands of people drive in my region! How many accidents are there each day? How many times do the people know each other.

This woman and I shared some sort of connection. What the exact nature of that connection is... I wouldn't presume to try to explain! Yet, we shared one sort of life experience, and that particular day, we shared another type of life experience.

I have often wondered about the people who witnessed our behavior that day. How many times have you seen two people who've just had an accident hugging each other and laughing? We were stunned when we realized what had happened. We hugged each other and laughed at the strangeness of it all. Other people must have been a bit confused... and maybe amused. Perhaps we set a different example that day of what it could be like when someone makes a mistake, and hurts someone else in the process. It doesn't need to be adversarial and ugly. It can be a little bump in the road. You handle it... and move on.

I like to use these sorts of situations as reminders that life is not, in fact, completely random. There is something interesting going on behind the obvious, physical reality that we inhabit. It's a mystery... and we live smack dab in the middle of it! Enjoy it!

Wisdom Flows

I'm on an animal kick this week! This sweet story, to me, is yet another reminder of a wisdom operating in this universe that we humans understand very little of.

There is something wise and wonderful that orchestrates this life.

Check out this story of a sick sea turtle who swam to the place where he could get help.

Amazing!

Sick Sea Turtle Swims Right to Hospital Doorstep

Let the wisdom flow through you...

Ludovico Einaudi - WOW!

A friend just turned me on to Ludovico Einaudi. Powerful, soothing and stirring music.

Give this a listen and be uplifted!



Great music is such a gift. Take a moment and think about the that music has enriched and enhanced your life!

Mixed Emotions

Today, I found out that a good friend of mine passed away on November 7th. She would have been 95 this coming Christmas Eve.


My friend Ethel

I started visiting Ethel over 13 years ago. I signed up with a wonderful organization, Friend to Friend, that matches volunteer 'visitors' with people in nursing homes and assisted living facilities.

I made a one year commitment to visit Ethel, and another woman, Lilly May. Lilly May passed away several years ago.

Ethel was in the early stages of macular degeneration, and the volunteer coordinator at her retirement home thought she could use a friend to help her adjust to her new limitations. Although Ethel had a wonderful loving family, the volunteer coordinator believed it might help to have a 'new' friend to help her with things she'd always done independently.

Ethel and I hit it off right away, and my one year commitment came and went, but our friendship lived on. I did my best to visit once a week whenever I was in town. I helped Ethel with projects once in a while, and helped rig up things to accommodate her failing eye sight. Mostly, we drank tea and visited. She told me about her life and her activities, and I shared my busy life with her.

Over the past few years, Ethel's health was deteriorating at a more rapid pace. Her vision was almost gone, and she was having a lot of pain in one of her knees. Walking had become increasingly difficult, and she was getting sick more often.

I feel very sad at the loss of my friend. i spent many happy hours chatting with Ethel and sharing our lives together. As sad as I feel, however, part of me is relieved that she will not have to suffer further deterioration in her health. She had a great fear of being totally incapacitated. We spoke of her wonderings at why God was keeping her around, when there was so little she could do. She was a treasure to her family, but she was starting to suffer more often than not, and she wasn't really able to do the things she always loved doing. She had communicated to me that she felt like it was time for her to go.

Life, and death, are bitter sweet. It is hard to say goodbye and let go of my friend, and yet, I know that for her, she was ready, and had felt that her almost 95 years of life had been well spent and much enjoyed. She was at peace, and for that I'm eternally grateful.

Goodbye dear Ethel. Journey well. Enjoy sweet peace.

In Ethel's honor and memory, I repost a poem that she shared with me some time ago. It embodies her spirit.

Beauty

Beautiful are the youth
Whose rich emotions flash and burn,
Whose lithe bodies filled with energy and grace
Sway in their happy dance of life;

And beautiful likewise are the mature
Who have learned compassion and patience,
Charity and wisdom,
Though they be rarer far than beautiful youth.

But most beautiful and most rare is a gracious old age
Which has drawn from life
The skill to take its varied strands:
The harsh advance of age, the pang of grief,
The passing of dear friends, the loss of strength,
And with fresh insight
Weave them into a rich and gracious pattern
All its own.

This is the greatest skill of all,
To take the bitter with the sweet and make it beautiful,
To take the whole of life in all its moods,
Its strengths and weaknesses,
And of the whole make one great and celestial harmony.

Robert Terry Weston