I had a thrill this past week! I recently cleaned out my closet and released a huge amount of clothing that no longer fit me - literally and figuratively. It was a powerful process of letting go of the old and embracing the present and the new me that continues to emerge every day that I live!
I had 8 items in my closet that I dearly love, didn't want to part with, but that were all a little too large for me. Most of them were items that I purchased on my travels to the middle east. Not only are they unique and beautiful, but they hold sentimental value for me. Each of them was just a little baggy and sloppy looking. I've been trying to move away from wearing over sized clothing. Wearing baggy clothing is a hold over from my past. I struggled with body image issues and an eating disorder in my teens and twenties and continue to heal and improve in this area. Wearing more fitted clothing is something I've been working on for many years.
These 8 items were a true test for me. I love these items, but they are now outside the realm of what I like to wear on my body. I decided to try and find someone to make alterations to them. I realized that because they were ornately embroidered and made of special fabrics (like velvet), they might be ruined in the process. That was a big risk for me. I didn't want to lose these items, yet I knew I should stop wearing them as they were.
I took the risk.
I went in to a local tailor shop, selected from the online yellow pages, with all my my treasures. I nervously tried each item on and allowed the seamstress to put pins into the garments to show me the changes she would make to fit the garments to my body. It was tough to tell how this was all going to turn out, but I took the leap of faith.
I waited anxiously for the week to pass and then the day came for me to pick up my items. I picked up all my garments, took them home and went to try them on before my full length mirror.
I actually got teary as I tried on one top after another and found them to be PERFECT for my body! The sloppiness was gone. Each item fit me as it should, accentuated the positive about my figure and showed off the beauty of each piece, in a way that was never possible when they were too large! It was such a revelation!
It's true, I could have ended up with a mess. The garments could have been destroyed in the process of trying to make them truly my own. Instead, I was rewarded for the chance I took, with 8 items that now are truly mine and reflect a more accurate picture of who I am, and who I am becoming!
What a metaphor! We can 'make due' with things that don't fit us in our lives. We can stay rooted in the past and refuse to progress and move forward. We can also keep things that really don't serve us, because we are afraid to allow them to change... or in some cases to let them go! OR.... we can declare that we want things in our life that fit us, reflect our best essence and serve us in being the best we can possibly be! I vote for that approach to life.
The things, people, relationships and situations in our lives should fit us well and bring out the best in us. We shouldn't settle for less than our potential. We deserve more than that!
In the end, my choice was to limp along with clothes that didn't fit me, give them away, or allow them to be tailored to suit me. We all have that choice with many aspects of our life experience. We are best served when we either release or alter those things in our life that hold us back, or don't bring out our best selves. Limping along is no way to live!
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