Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Old Butter Dish

I learned something about myself this past week.

I have a butter dish in my kitchen that I've had for almost 20 years. I really dislike it.

It has a modern and 'artsy' type look to it. It looks like a child drew pictures of a coffee cup, a house, and other simple things on the butter dish.

My taste is more earthy and natural. I like clean lines and soothing, straight forward design. This butter dish was 'goofy' and silly-looking to me.

The other day, I was getting a stick of butter out of the freezer and started to put it in my butter dish. I stopped in my tracks.

I asked myself, "WHY are you using this butter dish after all these years? You really really dislike it?"

I had to stop and ponder that question. Why did I buy it in the first place? Why was I still using it?

I started to remember 'way back when' I bought this butter dish.

The truth is, I actually remember the experience of buying the butter dish. Twenty years ago I was 25 years old. I didn't really know who I was, or what my 'style' was. I remember buying the butter dish because I thought it looked 'hip' and 'trendy.' I thought I "should" like it. I "wanted" to like it. So, I bought it.

I've known for many years that I didn't like this butter dish. Yet... it remained in use in my kitchen. What's up with that?

I realized this past week that I had just used this butter dish because I'd always used it. I bought it using immature and flawed logic. I was trying to be someone I wasn't. I bought it trying to impress other people with my 'hipness.' Even though I've come to know myself and my tastes over all these years, I never thought to let go of this butter dish. Until this week.

The butter dish is on it's way to the Goodwill with a lot of other things from my past. I'm letting it go! This butter dish represents a 'false self' to me. It represents all the parts of my that I have 'put on' to try to impress others or to prove to myself that I'm cool or hip. I want to be done with all that!

The butter dish is going. So too, I hope, are the parts of me that I've adopted to try to impress others or convince myself that I'm OK.

I'm me. Plain and simple. That is true for all of us. I hope for all of us that we can embrace who we are and let go of all the false selves we've adopted for various reasons.

Let go of the butter dishes you hate in your life. Just... let them go!