Friday, January 08, 2010

Don't Bother Going In

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine yesterday, about wasting time.

He has a good friend who is a realtor. The realtor once told him that when you are looking at houses, if you pull up in front of a candidate and you don't like it, you shouldn't waste your time by going in. Why spend the time looking at a house you already know you aren't impressed with?

I recounted a discussion I'd had with a good friend who was reentering the dating scene after his long marriage ended. He was asking for some advice on how to deal with women he wasn't really interested in.

I suggested that he not lead anyone on, and that he should 'cut loose' any woman he knows he doesn't want to continue dating. I impressed upon him how much we women don't like mixed messages or to be encouraged when there is no hope.

He was worried that he might hurt someone's feelings, or that they might 'freak out' if he told them he wasn't interested. I suggested that it's better to let someone down easily before they get too emotionally involved... and that if any woman 'freaked out' at the news he wasn't interested after a date or two... he would be better off without her!

Both of these situations teach us something important: When you know something isn't right for you... don't try to make it work! If you know this person isn't someone you are interested in being with... set them free. If you know the house isn't for you... drive on by. If you know the job would kill you... let it go.

Whatever the decision, if you know, in your heart and gut, that something is wrong for you... don't waste your time. Don't waste anyone else's either.

Listen to your heart... and your gut. Tell the truth as soon as possible... and that includes telling the truth to yourself!