Tea, Soup and Sleep

Yesterday, I felt like I was coming down with something. My first clue was that one of my lymph nodes in my neck suddenly became swollen and painful. A little while later, I was feeling nauseous.

I decided to play it safe. Being that we are in the beginnings of the flu season, I wanted to be extra careful.

I started tanking up on vitamin C. I drank a cup of hot tea. I sipped lots of water. I rested. Later I had some hot soup. Then I went to bed and slept for about 15 hours.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt better. Still not 100%, but better. I continued my regimen through the day. Rest. Vitamin C. Water. Soup.

I'm almost as good as new after that!

Respecting our bodies and paying attention to warning signs can prove to be really beneficial to us! It can save us a lot of time.

I'm grateful to be feeling healthy again! I appreciate that my body and I could work together to be good to each other!

Listen to your body. Respect it. Heed its warnings and its calls for support and nurturing.

Contrast Makes Things Clearer

Sometimes it takes a good contrast to help you really see something clearly.

I have often struggled with a problematic way of relating to a new, complex task. If I'm faced with a task that is overwhelming to me, and requires a lot of knowledge that I don't currently possess, I often have an 'immediate reaction' that causes me to panic. I actually have a knee jerk response that feels very much like the task facing me is impossible. It isn't based in reality. It isn't based on my past successes. If it were based in my proven ability to figure things out, I would have no doubt that I could figure it out. My track record in regards to figuring out complex tasks is quite solid.

So, why would I instantly feel that I won't be able to figure something out? Often I have that reaction before I even have all the data! It is kind of frustrating, but it FEELS VERY REAL!

Last night, I helped a very good friend out with a bunch of computer problems. I helped set up her new laptop over the weekend, and everything running fine when I left her on Friday night. Then Comcast set up her high speed internet, and her wireless router. The first time she turned her computer off and back on after that installation, many things went wrong. My friend panicked. She called me.

What struck me about the conversation was how entirely panicked she was. She kept predicting doom and kept proclaiming the problems were unsolvable. She had called her comcast installer, and he had basically told her he didn't know how to help. This confirmed, in her mind, that it was hopeless.

I saw, in her, a greatly magnified form of what I do. It was very interesting to watch!

I kept assuring her we would solve the problem. She kept saying she didn't know how. I kept telling her I would guide her through it.

There were several problems that we had to resolve, and we went at them one by one. She would frequently leap ahead to other problems, and I would ask her to stay with me in the current process. I promised her that we would get there.

What amazed me, is that even though I'm the knowledgeable person in this arena, she kept insisting that things were hopeless. For example, she had saved a document, and couldn't find it again. She kept saying, "The file is GONE! It's just GONE! I'm going to have to do it all over again!" I would respond that the file was not GONE, we just had to find it. In a short time... we found it, of course.

The fear of 'not getting the task done' was so strong in her, that she kept catasrophizing the situation.

At one point she told me that the Comcast guy had said he didn't know what was wrong, and that nothing he had done could be causing her problems. (The computer wasn't starting properly. It was sometimes hanging on boot, other times it was giving us error messages.)

I kept telling her that the computer was working perfectly when I left, and that the only thing that had happened to the computer since then, was the Comcast installation.

She told me again that the Comcast guy said it wasn't him. I got a little flabbergasted and said, "OK... are you going to believe the Comcast guy or are you going to believe me?"

That calmed her down a bit, and we methodically went through a troubleshooting process. We uninstalled several things that he had installed (that are totally unnecessary for her and are incompatible with Windows 7). I helped her locate her files, and learn to navigate a bit better.

She's all set and happily getting her work done now.

The contrast of seeing her do what I do in a greatly magnified form, showed me how seriously that 'energy' of panic and hopelessness was impairing her ability to be present to the solution process. She really couldn't think straight when she was freaking out. I had to tell her to take a deep breath a few times so she could answer my questions and we could continue to sort out the problems.

I do the same thing. Seeing this extreme example gave me a clue of how to work with myself more effectively when this happens.

Calm down.
Take deep breaths.
Know there IS a solution.
Know there IS SOMEONE who can figure it out, even if I can't.
Relax.
Apply good reasoning.
Let the solution present itself!!

Next time I get the chance, I'm going to see if I can go through this sort of experience with a little more peace and confidence in myself!

Finding the Pause Button

I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. I don't get stumped by too many basic problems in life. So, this 'challenge' that I've been dealing with is a little bit embarrassing.

I bought a digital voice recorder about 2 years ago. It seems that my writing ideas come in spurts. I'll sometimes have 20 ideas in a row. Then, I might not have any ideas for a week or so. If I don't somehow 'capture' these ideas, they are often totally gone. Poof. They disappear and sometimes I never get them back!

My digital voice recorder is always in my purse. I can pull it out and record my ideas at any time. It relieves a lot of stress over my ability to remember things!

I read the user's manual when I got the recorder. I learned the basic functionality, or so I thought. I've used this recorder a lot over the past two years.

In the home burglary that I experienced last year, the user's manual was among the contents of a box that was stolen.

Each time I've used this recorder, I have been able to easily turn it on (or off), start a recording and stop a recording. It was obvious how to do those things.

The one thing I could never figure out was how to 'pause' a recording. There was no pause button. You know the standard pause button design - two vertical lines || right? There is no such button on my recorder.

It has been a little frustrating, because sometimes I have an idea every few minutes, especially when driving! I end up hitting 'record' and then 'stop' over and over again. This yields a lot of very short, individual files that I need to work with!

I would rather start a recording, say a few things... pause... restart and add to the existing recording. Yet, each time I examined the recorder, I couldn't find the PAUSE button!

I had just accepted that I had to record each idea or spurt of ideas into separate files. Annoying, but manageable.

This weekend I was on a long drive and I was using my digital recorder the way I usually do, coming up with writing and speaking topics. At one point I had started a recording, and when I was finished, I tried to hit the STOP button, but hit the 'RECORD' button by accident. To my amazement, the screen started flashing "PAUSE RECORD."

I had accidentally figured out how to PAUSE my digital recorder! It was so simple! It was so obvious! Yet, for 2 years (I'm blushing) I hadn't discovered this 'obvious secret!'

It is sort of amusing actually. Given my personality and my past patterns and issues, I have a lot of trouble 'pausing' when it comes to my level of activity! I'm always on the go! I've had to train myself to pause. It is really interesting that I wouldn't be able to FIND the PAUSE button on my recording device.

I'm choosing to take it as a reminder that I need to pause occasionally in my life and my activities. It is important to have 'down time.' It is important to pause sometimes before reacting to things.

I had come to believe that it was impossible to pause my digital recorder! My little digital recorder is reminding me that it is POSSIBLE to PAUSE.

Do you know where your pause button is? If you're having trouble finding it, just remember that it IS THERE somewhere!!

Saved by the Fax

Today, my power went out. It's the beginning of 'the season.' Lots of rain and wind. Many trees will fall down this autumn and winter - a lot of them will clobber power lines. A fact of life where I live.

I came home to find my power out. I had a big project I needed to do on the computer that was going to take many hours. I needed power!

I called the power company. They were aware of the outage and estimated 1 - 2 hours before the power would be restored. I didn't want to wait that long to start my project.

I decided that I would take my laptop and go to a place with wi-fi and get my work done. I packed everything up and 10 minutes later I headed out the door.

I got into my car, and decided (for some 'unknown' reason) to do a test and call my fax machine. That's generally how I 'test,' when I'm away from home, to see if the power is on or off at my house. If the fax machine answers, the power is on. If the fax machine doesn't answer, the power is off. I dialed my fax machine before I even started my car. It rang a few times and the fax machine answered!!!! I was stunned.

I pressed my garage door opener button (which of course, would only work if the power was on) and up went my garage door! The power had come on in the time that it took me to walk from my front door to my car!

I was just about to drive 20 minutes to a wi-fi cafe! That would have used up 40+ minutes of my productive time.

Something caused me to call that fax machine before I even started my car. It really didn't make any sense to do it. I had literally just walked out of the house! Where did that impulse come from? That impulse, and the result saved me a bunch of time and frustration!

Divine guidance. Intuition. It's a powerful gift! When we learn to follow those promptings and not talk ourselves out of them we can experience life at an entirely new level!!

It Hurts to Say Goodbye

Loss is part of life. No one escapes without experiencing it. We all wish we could avoid it. No one enjoys the sensations of loss, because it hurts.

I was sent this picture today in my email. These chimps are mourning the loss of their beloved friend. They are watching as their companion is buried. You can actually see the anguish on their faces.



We all feel many strong and disquieting emotions when we lose something precious to us: a person, a pet companion, a job, a relationship, sometimes possessions - it could be anything.

At one level, it is important to understand that we, ourselves are not diminished by the loss of anything. No thing or person can diminish us in any way. Yet... loss hurts!

We need to be gentle with ourselves when we experience a loss. Grief is messy. It is unpredictable. It takes energy to process the feelings that come with a loss. We need to give ourselves time and space to feel everything and move through it. We might need more time alone. We might need more time being supported by those who love us. We might need more sleep.

The important thing is to really notice what we need and give that to ourselves.

If you are dealing with any sort of loss today, I wish for you patience and compassion for yourself. Acceptance is the way out of the pain... but it often takes time.

Playing Catch Up Again

I just recently completed a couple really large projects. I'm feeling an immense amount of satisfaction about it! It really does feel good to finish something that you've been working on for a long time.

Devoting so much time to these projects, however, left me behind in many other areas of my life. I had to shift my energy, time and attention to the projects that had big deadlines. As a result, many routine chores and a few really important tasks got pushed to the side.

I even missed a day of writing (blogging) this week, and today... I'm late getting my article written!

This happens to all of us in life. We only have so much time and energy to spend each day. When we have to rise to a challenge that will take extra time and energy, we need to make allowances and cut ourselves some slack in other areas.

This is still hard for me. I like to stay on top of everything... all the time!

This week I'm playing catch up, and trying to just 'enjoy the process.' Many of the tasks I set aside in the past few weeks are things I actually enjoy doing. Rather than succumbing to the sensations of overwhelm that are knocking at the door, I'm going to relax into my 'catch up time' and let it be fun and satisfying!

Each time I start to feel an internal pressure or panic, I focus on whatever I'm doing at that moment and say, "This is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing RIGHT NOW. This is my job in this moment. I'm in the right place, doing what I'm supposed to be doing." It works wonders!

Do you set really high expectations for yourself about what you can get done in a day? Are they sometimes impossible?

Ease up on yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Enjoy whatever you are doing in each moment. You will eventually get finished with all that is essential!

Feeling the Support

I had such a great weekend. I spoke at a church in Oregon this past weekend. I'll write more about that later this week.

It was a great experience over all, but there is one aspect of it that was particularly great. I had 15 friends and family come to support me and listen to me speak.

I actually felt pretty overwhelmed (in a good way) to have them all there.

One of my cousins mentioned that he's never forgotten that I came to his college graduation.

This is what family and friendship is all about. Being there for each other during all sorts of experiences. Supporting each other. Celebrating together. Enjoying each other's company.

It's a gift to have people around you who love and care about you. I think it's important to receive that love and support and return it as fully as possible!

A Day Well Spent

At the end of a long day, where I've done my very best, it is a gift to lay my head down on the pillow and allow myself to rest.

I endeavor to make every day one that I can feel good about having lived. It's a great goal.

I honestly don't believe there is anything better than going to bed at night feeling I've done the best I could to make the most of the time I was given for that day.

How do you feel when you go to bed at night? If you are anything less than content and satisfied, it might be time to retool your approach to your days.

Try doing a day review at the end of each day to reflect on what you have done and accomplished. Think also of what you gave and received. Of course remember the moments you spent with friends and loved one, and the sweetness of those connections.

If your day reviews don't feel satisfying to you, then set about making some changes.

Life is short. The journey is sometimes difficult. One gift we can give to ourselves is the feeling of satisfaction in the living of each of our days.

Let Go... NOW!

Something amazing happened over the past few days.

This past weekend, I was sitting here typing away looking out at the Katsura tree next to my back deck. It was covered with bright yellow leaves. Some of the leaves had turned brown around the edges. Not a single leaf had dropped from the tree yet.

Today I noticed something different about my working spot. There was noticeably more light. I glanced out the window and noticed that the tree outside had dropped ALL it's leaves. I mean, every single leaf!

In 3 days, the tree had dropped all it had. Now that's what I call letting go!

There is a cherry tree fairly near to this Katsura tree in my yard, and it has yet to drop a single leaf. In fact, the leaves haven't even turned colors yet. All the leaves on the tree are still deep, dark green.

I was astonished at the contrast. One tree, turned all it's leaves yellow, then slightly brown and dropped them instantly! The other tree is still all green. It's no where near ready to drop it's leaves.

I got to thinking about the ways that we let go... and the ways that we hold on. Sometimes, some people are able to recognize a moment where they need to let go and they just DO IT! Others need more time to let go. It's a slower, more deliberate process.

I envy the tree that just said, "OH... it's time. Let it GO!" and did so. I want to be more like that tree.

Sometimes it takes longer, and that too, is a lesson. We need to allow what it take to let go of the things in our life that need to be released.

It doesn't hurt to encourage ourselves to let go when necessary... but all trees are different. Some will let go fast and some will take their time.

Attempting to let go easily and quickly is a wonderful goal, but honoring the natural time line we each have is also important.

Letting go is the important thing. How and when isn't nearly as important!

LET GO!

The Disorienting Fogs of Life

A funny thing happened to me on the way home from my Arabic class last night. It was very dark and seriously foggy. As I traveled this road, the same one I've driven a thousand times, I suddenly realized I had driven several miles past the turn off to my house. I couldn't believe it!

As I turned around and headed by towards the turn I had missed, I paid extra attention to what I was doing. The fog made it difficult to recognize normal cues and landmarks I use for navigation.

It made me remember the days following my father's death. The way I tried to describe that experience to people is to say that I felt as though I were moving through a dense fog. I was disoriented and a bit numb.

Some experiences in life leave us feeling this way. We feel knocked off balance, disoriented and unable to navigate our usual pathways with our usual efficiency.

When 'fog sets in' we need to give ourselves some extra support and take a little extra time to plan our next move and take the next step. We can't expect to drive as fast as we usually do. It's dangerous and we are likely to miss turns and get even more disoriented and lost.

Fog comes into every life. Fog happens. We must adapt and adjust to those times in life when we are knocked off our normal game by unexpected and difficult circumstances.

When fog hits, slow down, take a deep breath and allow yourself the extra time and support you need to get where you need to go.

The Cleansing Rain Storm

This summer, I had some concrete resealing done around my house. I have a couple patios, and some walkways that had never been cleaned and resealed since they were put in 10 years ago.

My entry walkway is pressed concrete, that is made to look like dark gray slate. When it is sealed it is shiny and gorgeous!

After all the work was done, I was really enjoying the look of the freshly sealed pressed concrete in front of my house.

Something interesting happened right after this work was finished.

Every couple days, it seemed like I, or one of the people who works around my house, needed to do some activity that required walking all over that front walkway with muddy shoes!

I am not a super neat freak or anything, but I didn't want my newly sealed, shiny walkway covered with muddy footprints. So, each time it got dirty, I would bring out the hose and wash off the walkway.

It was amazing to me, however, how frequently they were getting dirty! I'd never had this experience before!

The last time the walkway got dirty was when my sprinkler service company came to winterize my sprinklers. They had to walk all over the yard and in doing so, they traversed my clean walkway several times. Of course they left dirty, grimy footprints all over it!

Sigh.

I was planning on hauling out the hose to clean it up... again, but the weather turned very cold. It had been raining some, but it didn't seem to be taking care of the muddy footprints. I just couldn't seem to get myself to go out in the cold weather and spray off this walkway.

Then it happened.

A rain storm, the likes of which I haven't seen in a long, long time descended on my area. I mean it was CRAZY rain. The rain fell hard and furious. It was actually a little scary at times.

But guess what?

The walkway in front of my house is completely clean! All the muddy footprints were completely washed way! The rain storm took care of it for me.

It was a great reminder to me that the storms of life are sometimes useful to us. Sometimes that pounding rain can cleanse something from our lives that has been a source of struggle or pain. Life storms can sometimes pull forth from us skills and inner strength we didn't even know we had. Other times, the storms in life can alter our course and send us off in a new direction.

This particular storm was 'cleansing.' It washed away some stuff I didn't want or need anymore. I've had 'life storms' that have done the same thing, although it isn't always obvious DURING the storm. We often can't see the benefit until after the storm has passed, the skies have cleared and the pavement has dried.

Look for the blessing and the gift in the storms of life. There usually is one lurking there, if we have the patience and the willingness to see it.

A Reduced Inflow

When something happens to us repeatedly in life, it's worth taking a look at what it might be trying to tell us.

I woke up the other day to about 1/2 the normal amount of water pressure throughout my house. It was a sudden and unmanageable change. This was an inadequate amount of water pressure to do the normal activities I need to do. You know, like take a SHOWER!

After a bit of investigation, the water company representative discovered that I have a failing "PRV" (Pressure Reducing Valve) between the pipe on the street, and the pipe that carries water to my house. It is severely restricting the flow and causing the water pressure to be far too low.

The really interesting thing is that I had this same problem at my previous house. In that situation, the water pressure was low from the day I moved in. I struggled to work around that problem. I bought a 'water pressure boosting' system for the house, and I installed many, many sprinkler zones in the irrigation system so that the low pressure was enough to power just a few heads in each zone.

I'm embarrassed to say that I limped along with that inadequate pressure for 10 years! It was only when I was selling the house, and had it inspected that I attempted to resolve the problem. The inspector noted it as a problem that needed to be fixed, and so I finally started looking into it.

I had no idea what a PRV was at that point in time. It was a long process of trying to figure out the problem, and finally when the utility company came out, identified the problem and replaced the PRV, a 10 year long struggle came to a close. When I ran my sprinkler system for the first time after the 'fix' I actually cried. I couldn't believe how much better everything worked with adequate water pressure.

This is the second time in my life where I've experienced this problem. Metaphorically, it is an interesting issue to contemplate.

The situations were both caused by a 'disruption' to the flow or supply of an essential resource. It was like I had a kink in the supply hose for something I really needed. The fix was easy in both cases, replace the PRV and 'unkink' the hose, but it wasn't so obvious at the onset.

It got me thinking, however, about the various ways that I might be experiencing a 'disruption' in the flow of other essential resources in my life. I started to ponder if I was taking good care of myself, and giving myself everything I need to live my life at 'full force?' Am I feeling depleted in any way? Am I expecting myself to deal with the demands on myself without giving myself proper rest, nutrition, play time or emotional support?

I realized that the 'message' could very well be that I needed to take a look at how hard I was pushing myself lately, and whether I was giving myself all that I needed to meet these increased demands on my time and energy level. There were definitely some areas that needed attention. Especially in the areas of down time/relaxation and emotional support. I have 'unkinked' the hose now, and I'm feeling and functioning much better!

While the 'onset' of this recent PRV problem was quite sudden, and made it impossible to ignore, I do feel a bit of satisfaction in the fact that I resolved it in a day. I didn't limp along with the problem, feeling confused and powerless, for an insane period of time... like 10 years!!

I'm also pleased that I immediately 'unkinked' not only the PRV, but my own supply of the self care activities that I need to keep my life flowing and feeling good!

Got any 'kinked' supply hoses in your life? Are you setting realistic expectations for yourself? Are you giving yourself all that you need to meet the demands of your life?

Look for those kinks, and open the supply!

The Joy of Being Prepared

I'm currently taking an Arabic class. I've dabbled with learning Arabic before. It is not an easy language for an English speaker to learn!

I'm taking a community college class, so there are no grades and no real requirements to participate fully.

I've taken this class before. Always, in the past, I was really busy, over committed and traveling a lot. This time, when I signed up, I decided to take it really seriously and make it a priority.

This past week, I studied an hour every day. I did writing, speaking and listening drills. I felt like I did everything I could do to be prepared.

When I went to class this week, it was GREAT! I felt completely ready. I was well prepared. I could do all the exercises in class. I was so well grounded in the previous weeks' work that I was able to easily absorb the new material we went over. It felt good.

Not everyone in the class fared so well. I was one of the only people that responded to a lot of the teacher's questions and prompts.

I left feeling satisfied.

On my way out the door, I heard one student saying to another, "Mental note to self: DO NOT COME TO CLASS UNPREPARED... EVER AGAIN!"

In that moment, I felt empathy for her experience. I haven't been in that place often in my life, but I certainly have been there.

She was having the 'flip side' experience from what I was having. I had been well prepared and it felt great. She had been ill prepared and it felt overwhelming and unpleasant.

Putting in the energy and time required by an endeavor is a very satisfying experience. Trying to take short cuts really doesn't serve us well. It might bring short term gain, but we pay a heavy price for it in the end.

Here's to being prepared! Put in the time and energy you need to put in! You'll be glad you did!

It's Different Now

I just took what is likely to be the last hike of my hiking season. Our weather is changing.

Summer is most definitely behind us here in Seattle. That was made abundantly clear to me on this last hike.

That morning, when I set out, I knew that it was going to be cooler than my last several hikes. Summer is over. The change is coming!

I had a long sleeved t-shirt on, instead of my customary sleeveless shirt. I put on my ear covers and gloves. As I started up the hill, I was a little chilly, but soon I was warmed up by the climb and I was OK.

I did notice that my nose was really cold. That was the only difference until I got close to the top.

The wind was whipping! It was freezing cold at the summit! I simply couldn't stay up there. It was too darn cold!

On the way down, without the exertion of the climb to keep me warm, I got very chilled. Finally, I stopped and I put on my jacket. I was much better then. I still could have used a hat. It was still a chilly walk down the mountain.

The last time I did this hike, I was completely sweaty by the time I got to the top. There was no 'getting cold' involved in the experience.

The environment has changed. The experience is different. If I want to hike in this condition and be comfortable, I need different supplies than before. That is called CHANGE.

Sometimes our outer circumstances change. Sometimes it's expected. Other times it's not. Still, we have to deal with whatever comes.

If I had resisted the 'change' I encountered, the entire experience would have been extremely uncomfortable. By adding a different shirt, ear covers, gloves, and a jacket, I was able to meet the demands of the new environment, and still enjoy the hike.

Resist not. When change comes your way, you have two choices. Make it tough on yourself and resist or accept the new situation and adapt. The choice is always ours!

Being Taught Patience by "THEM"

I was on my way to hike a few mornings ago, when something happened to me that I always dread.

Soon after I pulled out on the highway, I came to a stop light. There, in front of me, was some sort of landscaping truck.

I sighed.

They would not be driving the speed I normally like to drive. I was virtually certain of it.

That, of course, proved true.

They accelerated slowly from every stop. They drove just under the speed limit. There were no opportunities to pass them.

At each 'logical' place where a landscape truck might need to travel, I kept hoping they would turn off. They didn't.

We went through a little town, they didn't turn off. We passed through a second town. Nope, they were still with me. By the time we went through the third little town, I was amazed. This 'route' from near my home to where we were at that moment didn't seem like a route that made sense for these guys to be traveling.

They were still in front of me as I neared the turn off to the road that would take me to the trail head for my hike. THEY PUT THEIR BLINKER ON!

I seriously couldn't believe it. They were turning down this little country road that leads to the trail I hike! What are the odds!

It gets better!

The truck pulled over right across the road from the trail head where I parked my car.

As I put on my hiking boots, I noticed that the truck turned around and drove back the way we had come! They didn't even need to be there!

I was stunned. Then I started laughing.

I have a real 'problem' with impatience. I am sort of addicted to efficiency. I like for things to run smoothly and quickly. I don't 'wait' well.

It was as though that truck was put on the road that morning... JUST FOR ME! Who knows where those guys were supposed to go? For that 30 minutes (which normally would have taken me 20), they were my 'pilot car' to slow me down and give me an opportunity to practice patience!

Sometimes life puts things in our path that are meant to teach us something about ourselves or give us a chance to 'deal with' something that causes us difficulty in our lives. It never ceases to amaze me how my 'lessons' show up and are presented to me!

This particular day, it was in the form of a slow moving truck of lost landscapers... in my way!

Whoever or whatever is "in your way" today, give it a second look. There is almost certainly a lesson or message in it for you!

Lessons in Vanity

Ever had a cold sore? Don't you just love those? They come on with lightening speed, and stay for what seems like an eternity. When they appear on your face near your lips they are pretty obvious to any one who looks at you. They can't be hidden. They hurt. They have a definite life cycle. Once one starts, there isn't a whole lot you can do but just go through the process.

Guess who's got a cold sore?

I hadn't had one for about a year and a half. I always get this one in the same spot. It's never any fun, and this time is no exception.

Each time I go through this, I am always a little disappointed in how self conscious I become. I don't like to go out as much. I don't like to get too close to people. I don't want anyone looking at my face.

Whenever I'm going through this, I suddenly am filled with admiration and respect for people who have visible problems with their bodies and yet live fully and without apology! It takes a strong sense of self to embrace and accept yourself even when something about your appearance might attract unwanted or uncomfortable attention.

To be 'affected' by something as small as a cold sore makes me stand in awe of people who have much larger challenges and who bravely and courageously embrace and live their life - no matter what.

In some ways, I'm grateful for this cold sore, because it helps me remember who and what I am... and am not. I am not my appearance. My body is one part of my expression, but it certainly isn't the entirety of me. I am still the same person - with or without the cold sore. I'm no less valuable. I'm no less me. It doesn't define me or change anything about my essential nature. If someone doesn't like me or want to be around me because of a cold sore, who has the problem?

Learning to walk confidently into the world - even with a visible 'affliction' is good practice for me. It helps me to practice detachment form my appearance as a measure of my worth. I can always use these sorts of lessons - even if I don't enjoy them.

Next time something comes into your life that you feel embarrassed to have others see, whether it's a breakup or divorce, losing a job, a financial problem, health challenge or whatever it is - use it as an opportunity to detach your identify from that part of your life expression. Who you are is much deeper and transcends all that outer 'stuff.' When something happens to our bodies or in our lives that causes us to feel 'less than' somehow, it is a perfect opportunity to practice knowing who we really are at our core. All the rest is surface stuff and doesn't mean anything about who we really are.

It Always Comes Back Around

I love it when I get clear, concrete examples of spiritual principle in action. It is so reassuring when that sort of confirmation breezes into my life.

I've been enjoying a 'scratch ticket' sweepstakes that has been going on at a restaurant I frequent. They give me a ticket every time I go in to eat, and every ticket is a winner. Some of the prizes are quite small, and others are really great!

I've received a free $18 entree coupon - Cashew Crusted Halibut... here I come! I've also won several free lunches, and a lot of cupcakes! It's really been fun.

A couple weeks ago I won a coupon good for "10% off your total bill." These coupons can't be combined with any other discounts, and I already get 15% off my total bill as a member of a particular club, so the 10% coupon isn't really a winner for me.

They have these restaurants in another state (where the 15% discount isn't available to me) and I recently ate at one of the restaurants in that state with some friends. I didn't realize they were doing the sweepstakes there, so I didn't use my 10% off coupon. I'd already paid the bill, with no discount, when I realized I could have used that coupon!

I love free things, so I was a little disappointed. My friends live close to this restaurant and said they would eat at this place again, so I gave them my 10% coupon. Since I get my 15% at home, I didn't need it. I was happy that they would make use of it. They were pleased. I was pleased. It was a win-win situation.

After I left the restaurant, I remembered that I would be coming back to this same restaurant in 3 weeks - with a big group of family members! I was really bummed when I realized that I could have used that 10% coupon after all. The savings would be substantial for a group that large! I'm embarrassed to say that I briefly thought about asking my friend for the coupon back. Thankfully, I stopped myself!! She had been excited to get it and it would have been really lame to have asked for it back!

A couple days later, at my 'regular' restaurant in my home state, I scratched another ticket and guess what I won? I bet you guessed! "10% off your total bill!" My coupon was restored to me! I didn't 'lose' anything by giving my friend that coupon!

It was a powerful reminder that when we give - we never lose anything! We always receive something when we give. It's a universal law. It's important to realize that, even when it feels like we're 'losing' something as we give it away. We are putting it into circulation. What we give always come back to us in some form or fashion. Often it isn't in the exact same form as what we gave - but we always receive something when we participate in the law of circulation.

The law of circulation is an absolute law of the universe. In fact, if you are in need of something - give something away and see what happens!

Happy giving!

Sore Muscles

It doesn't take much to move us out of our comfort zone and into 'new territory.'

I'm sitting here this morning with a very sore back. I went to the physical therapist yesterday and we spent 30 minutes doing core activation exercises to strengthen my low back and abdominal muscles.

Thirty short minutes, and a lot of 'rest' periods built in, but still, today - I'm SUPER SORE in that whole region.

When we have an area of weakness, it doesn't take much activity to stretch us and make us uncomfortable.

It doesn't feel good, and yet it is a sign that these muscles are working in a way that they haven't for a long time. It's a good sign. A sign of progress and growth. Growth and improvement doesn't come for free. We usually have to experience some 'growing pains' and discomfort in order to reap the rewards of increased strength or proficiency!

As I sit with my 'sore muscles' today... I remember that it is serving an important 'higher goal.' Increased strength in this region will lead to greater stability in my spine. That means less pain and greater possibilities for the activities that I can perform and enjoy.

A little discomfort on the path is part of the journey to greater strength and increased functionality! I can handle that!

Have you got 'growing pains' in any areas of your life? Are you in a place of discomfort 'on your way' to something bigger and better? Just remember that it is a 'sign' of progress and keep on keeping on!

Internal Gratitude Revolution

I believe in the power of gratitude. I think most of us go through our days focusing on what's wrong rather than what's right. We complain about what we don't have instead of being grateful for what we DO have.

I think our lives could change radically if we just flipped this around.

What if we focused on what was right more than what was wrong?

What if we gave thanks for EVERYTHING that we appreciate (and often take for granted) throughout each day?

I challenge you to try to do this practice - even for an hour straight: Give thanks for EVERYTHING that you use, eat, drink, experience (and enjoy) during that time.

I tried it this morning and it was amazing how I felt as I did it. Here's what my first few minutes went like as I did the practice as I came home from a hike.

"I'm so grateful for my healthy body that allowed me to take and enjoy that 5 mile hike. Thank you (God/Universe) for the car that allowed me to get there and back. I appreciate that I could afford the gas to drive to and from that hike. I'm so grateful that my schedule allowed me to enjoy this fall day by hiking outside. Thank you for the hot water, shampoo and soap that I'm getting to use for my shower. I appreciate that I live in a place with clean water and enough of it to allow me to use it for showering. I am grateful for a clean dry towel to use to dry myself with. I appreciate that I have clothes to wear."

Get the idea???

As I made all these declarations of gratitude, I also thought about the fact that many people do not have access to all these things that I'm fortunate enough to have. Many people don't have clean water. Some don't have hot water or enough water to bath in. Not everyone enjoys good health. Some people don't have cars or can't afford gas.

After just a short time of this practice my mood improved a great deal. I was feeling really lucky! I also was pulled very much into the present moment - also a good thing!

Give this a try. You don't have to be grateful for anything that doesn't positively contribute to your life, but I think you'll be amazed at just how many things DO enhance your experience of life!!

Being "Normal"

To be perfectly honest, I have always considered myself an 'odd' person. There are many things about me that I don't think are 'normal.' I think differently than most people I know. I like very different things from most normal people. Many things that most people tend to like don't do a thing for me.

This used to really both me. I used to feel that I was some sort of 'mutant.' I still, at times, feel a bit like an alien!

I'm coming to understand, however, that each of us is unique in a variety of ways. It's not just me. The truth is... this is a GOOD, GOOD thing!

The world is far more interesting when it is filled with diversity. Life would be incredibly boring if all people looked, though, acted, and spoke the same way.

Still, sometimes I think that we all 'yearn' to be 'normal.' Sometimes it would feel good to be like every body else.

As teenagers, fitting in and being 'like' our peers is all important. It's a part of the growing up process. We yearn to belong AND we are so unsure of who we are that it is safer to 'go with the crowd' and be like everyone else.

As we mature, however, I think one of the gifts available to us it to come to see ourselves as unique and special, rather than finding our characteristics to be 'odd' or 'wierd' or 'strange' in some sort of undesirable, negative fashion.

I have, at times, beocme deetermined to 'be normal.' This usually ends in some sort of disaster. I try to be like people I like and admire - but when I'm in the 'normalcy seeking mode' that motivation is coming from an urge to fit in and be accepted by others. It isn't coming from a good place.

I have a button I was given a long time ago that says, "Normal is a setting on a washing machine!" I love this! Normal is overrated and isn't meant to apply to the incredibly diverse tapestry that is humankind!!

A minister I like, JOyce Meyer, tells a story of how she went through a phase where she didn't feel like a 'normal woman.' Because she spends so much time studying and preparing lessons and talks, she doesn't have a lot of time for more domestic types of activities. She doesn't really enjoy a lot of those activities either! Still, she started to feel very different from all her friends, and longed to just be 'like everybody else.' Her very funny story is about how she decided to plant and grow her own tomatoes one summer. She and her neighbor planted their tomatoes at the same time, on each side of the fence that separated their yards. They had the same soil, used the same seeds, watered the same way and fertilized with the same things at the same time. The other woman's tomatoes grew strong and gorgeous. She harvested a bountiful crop. Joyce's tomatoes on the other hand, did not do so well. They got some sort of disease. They had bugs all over them. In short... it was a disaster! She complained to God about this one day and heard a firm answer. "I did not ask you to grow tomatoes!"

the other woman grew tomatoes because she loved doing it. It was one of her tasks in life that she felt called to do and she did it well. Not everyone can grow tomatoes!

Joyce, on the other hand, is called to speak and teach. Not everyone can do that either. Joyce is called (and is annointed, as she puts it) to teach spiritual principles out of the Bible, and it is fun and easy for her!

We aren't all given the same gifts or the same purposes in our lives! We need to appreciate other people's talents and abilities, AND embrace our own as well.

There are many things about you that are unique and wonderful. There is no one else exactly like you! If you compare yourselves to others and try to squeeze yourself into their image - you will be miserable, and you will probably not get very far.

We are meant to be ourselves! There is NO NORMAL!

Go be the very best YOU that you can be and embrace those things about you that make you one of a kind!

Mean What You Say

You will rarely find me driving without an iced tea at my side. I love iced tea, and when I'm driving, it is the perfect refreshing accompaniment.

I was on a long distance drive last month which found me out in the middle of nowhere. What this means to a hard core iced tea drinker like me is NO BATHROOMS are available! :)

I got caught in some back country 'road construction' and sat at a total standstill for 15 minutes. That 15 minutes was critical in the 'schedule' I had worked out for the drive and needed 'bio breaks.'

The route I was driving is not one that I'm super familiar with. As my bladder neared 'panic' mode I tried to remember if I had any 'opportunities' before I arrived at my destination, which was still 30 miles away.

Thankfully, a fast food restaurant appeared and I was able to get some... relief!

When I got back in the car, feeling SO MUCH BETTER, I said out loud, "I don't care how long it takes me to get there now. I'm fine!"

Famous last words.

As I drove through the countryside, it appeared in front of me. A huge piece of farm equipment on the highway, driving in front of me, in the same direction that I was heading! In a 55 MPH zone, he was clipping along at about 20 MPH.

"Surely he can't be going very far," I thought to myself. We continued another mile or so.

I started to get impatient, and wondered why none of the people between me and the machine didn't pass him. I started fidgeting. Then I got more impatient. It progressed to irritation. Then it happened.

My words came echoing back to me in my head, "I don't care how long it takes me to get there now. I'm fine!"

I actually laughed out loud as I remembered what I had said 10 minutes earlier. I had already forgotten that I was filled with patience once I felt the relief of my bio break!

Why did I say that, if I didn't mean it?? Why did I so casually toss that out and then almost instantly act in a completely contrary way?

I think it was a test for me about the way I back up what I say! I didn't do very well!!

Our words and our promised are very important. I think we need to be really careful about saying things and then not following through on them. We learn to not trust ourselves when we do that.

As for me that fateful day, as I chuckled about my situation, I repeated the words again and relaxed into the 20 MPH crawl. I admired the beautiful farmland around me. As soon as I 'surrendered' guess what happened? The giant piece of farm machinery turned off the highway, and within seconds we were all cruising at 55 MPH again!

Pay attention to the words you speak - whether to other people, or to yourself. Make sure you are mindful of what you say, that you intend to DO what you say, and then follow through! Our words are powerful. Living up to them creates a life worth living!

Rejection as Protection

I heard a minister say recently that sometimes "Rejection is God's protection."

This idea really struck me at a deep level.

Who among us has not experienced rejection in our lives? Whether in a romantic context, a friendship, not being chosen for a team or club, not getting a job we wanted - it happens to all of us many times through the course of our life's journey.

What if this is really true? What if maybe we are being protected from something that is actually not the best for us?

Perhaps the person you wanted to have as your partner would have actually treated you badly? What if the job would have sucked the very life out of you? What if making the cheer leading squad way back when might have caused you to develop unhealthy eating habits? Maybe if you'd been 'chosen' for the club you wouldn't have learned how to handle disappointment in a gracious and positive way.

I think this is concept really worth exploring. Perhaps there is a higher wisdom at work in life when 'things don't work out' the way we want them to.

Perhaps we are being protected from our own ideas when we don't get something we think we want.

Looking back on my life, I can certainly see many times where I didn't get what I wanted and later could see that everything had truly unfolded to my highest good.

Sometimes we get to 'see' that and other times we don't.

Maybe part of the journey is learning to trust that if we don't get something, it is for a good reason. Just like a parent doesn't give in to every desire a child has - perhaps we are given what we truly need in life and not just what we want.

Next time you experience some sort of rejection, keep this in mind. Maybe you are being protected - even though it hurts in the moment. Maybe it is, in fact, a blessing!

It Doesn't Take Much to Make a Difference

When I was a little girl, I spent a lot of time visiting my grandparents' farm. They grew everyting on the farm - all sorts of fruit and vegetables.

My Grandfather did something very special for me every year. He would pick the largest apple from his crop and save it for me. He had an apple polishing machine and would put my apple through the machine over and over and over again to make it unbelievably shiny!

I was always so tickled by this! It was a very simple act, and yet 40 years later, I still remember it with a warm feeling in my heart.

This didn't take him long to do, but it was a sweet way for him to show me that I was special to him. I never 'lost' that message. It has stayed with me my entire life.

It is easy to do little things that show other people we care about them and that they matter to us. Sometimes we let life get so busy we forget to do those little things. We might also convince ourselves that we need to do something 'big' in order for it to matter - and then do nothing because we don't have the time or resources to do something 'significant.'

I encourage us all to look for little things we can do to let those we care about KNOW that they matter to us and that we are thinking of them. It can make a huge difference in someone's day... or even their life.

Here's a picture of my Grandma and Grandpa Drazdoff in 1970.



Here's a picture of my Grandpa's apple polishing machine. It's old and no longer used, but when I saw it on a recent visit to the farm, my heart was flooded with memories of my Grandpa.

I Want His Spunk!

For the past 13 years, I have been visiting an elderly lady in a retirement home. I started visiting two women, but one passed away at 102 years old a few years ago!

How I came to do this is a story in and of itself. I'll save that for another day.

In my years of visiting, I've received an enormous blessing from the women I have visited. Spending time with people who have lived long and full lives is fascinating. I lost all of my grandparents when I was young, so visiting the retirement home 'supplemented' my life in a major way. I get a regular infusion of 'wisdom' from these folks.

A few weeks ago, as I was walking out of the retirement home, after a visit with my friend, I overheard a conversation between two residents in the TV room.

An elderly man was sitting and chatting with an elderly woman. I assumed they were husband and wife.

As I walked by, I heard the man say, "Well, anytime you want help throwing away some of your clothes - just let me know! I'll be glad to help!"

There was a slight pause, and then he added, "Just as long as you have them on at the time!"

The elderly lady giggled and said, "You are sooooo funny!"

I'm guessing they were in their 80's! I got outside the door and started laughing out loud.

It was a sweet little flirtatious exchange that I witnessed. The fact that it occurred between two folks in their 80s tickled me. They are still full of life and sharing that with the world. It impressed the heck out of me!

Those folks have a lot of their lives behind them. They all have various aches and pains that come with aging. They no longer live in their own homes, or have as much control, as they once did, over their own lives. Yet... they are full of pluck and zest for life. I love it!

May we all embrace that level of fun and enthusiasm for our days!!

It's MY Toe!

My mom told me a story the other day about something she experienced in a beauty salon.

She was in getting her hair done, and another regular client came up to talk to mom's hair dresser.

This particular client is known for her persistently negative and complaining attitude about life.

The woman started telling my mom (and her hairdresser) her daily tail of woe. She was complaining about her job, and how hard it was to work a couple hours at a time, serving lunch or dinner to senior citizens in a retirement home. Then she went on to complaining about one of her big toes and how much it hurt. She went on and on about her toe and told mom and the other lady that it was broken.

"It's not ever going to heal!" exclaimed the woman. "The doctor told me it will NEVER heal!"

My mom had sat silently through her monologue until that moment. Then she said, "Pardon me?"

The woman repeated it again, "My toe is never going to heal."

My mom said, "I've never heard of such a thing before? How can it not heal?"

"It's MY TOE!" snapped the woman. "It's not going to heal!"

My mom dropped it at that point.

How sad. This woman has accepted (or decided) that her broken bone is never going to heal. Whether the doctor told her that or not isn't really important. She is declaring at every possible opportunity that it is NOT GOING TO HEAL. She considers it a 'done deal.'

It doesn't surprise me that this woman's general outlook on life is dismal and dreary, or that she views herself as a victim of circumstance.

Her 'toe comment' would have given me a clue about her mindset, even without the complaining that she does on a regular basis.

She simply doesn't believe healing is available to her. Life is hard and she's destined to live with pain and suffering. That... is her belief system.

I'm reminded of that old song, 'It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To.'

We all have a choice of what to make of our party! We all have the opportunity to decide how we are going to handle our life. Will we suffer through it? Will we enjoy it? The choice is entirely up to us.

It is, indeed, 'her toe.' It's also her party! If she continues to think and speak about it in her current form, she's in for a long, dismal trip.

How are you handling you party? Do you have any 'toes' that you are declaring will never heal?

Remember that the choice of how you engage with your party... or your toe is entirely up to you! There is great power in your perspective, the beliefs you hold and the words you speak!

It's as true for you and I, as it is for the woman with 'her toe!'

Selective Hearing

I was hiking the other day, listening to tunes on my Zune (Music Player). A song I have heard many times, and love, came on. "Are You Gonna Be My Girl," by Jet.

It's a catchy, upbeat song, great for motivating me when I'm hiking up a hill!

I was singing along with the song, as these lines came on:

Big black boots
Long blonde hair...
She's so sweet with her 'get back' stare!

I had a little 'twinge' internally and thought to myself, "Why do they always sing about blonde haired girls?"

I, of course, am a brunette. I felt a bit 'slighted' at that moment. My thought process went a bit like this:

How come it's always the blondes that are considered cute?
What's wrong with brown haired girls?
Why aren't we thought of as being cute too?
etc. etc. etc.

I played the song over a few times more. I still liked it, even if I felt my 'brunette-ness' was being dissed!

Suddenly, that line came up again... and I heard it:

Big black boots
Long BROWN hair
She's so sweet with her 'get back' stare!

I was stunned. Literally stunned. I have listened to that song hundreds of times, and I have always heard him sing BLONDE! Yet, every single time he was singing "BROWN."

It was a profound reminder to me that our hearing, seeing (and other senses) are quite selective.

When we have a deeply held belief, we scan our world CONSTANTLY for confirmation that we are right. It matters not whether the belief is negative or positive. My teacher, Chuck Bruni, used to always say, "The Universe is neutral!"

I have an internal belief that blondes are cuter than brunettes, and somehow I'm inferior because I'm brunette! I actually heard the lyrics INCORRECTLY to validate my theory! Amazing!

We have to really watch ourselves for this sort of internal distortion! We are well served when we do our best to become aware of what we think and believe about ourselves and this world of ours!

We will usually get to be right. Even if we have to distort the facts to do so!

Link to "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet

In Memory of My Daddy

Me with my Dad

Today marks the 12th year since the passing of my father, Michael Drazdoff.

I'm taking some time to remember him today, and all the gifts he gave me by being my daddy.

Thanks Daddy! Your life mattered! You live on through all of those you touched.

The Greener Grass

This past weekend, I was driving through the Oregon country side to visit my mom. It was a bright sunny day. For me, the perfect day for driving through those rolling green hills.

As I whizzed along, I noticed a pasture to my left. In this lush green field was a herd of grazing cattle. I didn't think too much about it, until I noticed two cows up very close to the road I was driving on.

They had their heads stuck THROUGH the barbed wire fence, so they could eat the grass on the other side. OUCH!

I'm not even sure how they got their heads through, but the barbed wire was definitely pressing against their necks on the top and bottom. OUCH! I wondered if they could extract themselves from their predicament, or if they would require assistance from their owner to free themselves. The situation they got themselves into, very well could be something they couldn't get themselves out of!

All this, and they were eating grass that looked remarkably similar to what was within their grazing pasture.

How often do we do put ourselves in harm's way in order to try to acquire something 'better' than what we already have, only to find it is no better (or no worse)?

Cows aren't very conscious. We have an advantage in this area. We can look carefully at the grass inside the pasture and on 'the other side' and make a conscious decision about whether to stick our head through a razor sharp fence to try and get to it!

Most often, of course, this will get us nowhere 'better' - it will only end up slicing our neck open! Then was will be spending time tending to those cuts and healing from our misadventure.

If something really looks 'better' let's try and be a little smarter than the cows with their heads stuck int he barbed wire fence!

Don't be deceived by the 'illusion.'

Think. Discern. Remain conscious. Move with awareness.

Doing it Yourself

I saw a commercial the other day. I think it was for a hardware store.

The main tag line was,

"Do it yourself, doesn't mean you have to do it alone."

I love this! As an independent person, sometimes I get very caught up in the notion that I should know how to do everything on my own. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help.

I personally believe in order to live life fully, we have to learn how to let other people in. We have to learn how to meet our own needs, and we have to learn how to allow others to meet our needs as well.

Who knew such a powerful reminder could come from a hardware store commercial!?!

A Fueled Up Tank

You'd think I'd know better. My personal trainer has drilled it into my head that eating a good breakfast is extremely important to my well being. It's valuable every day, but particularly necessary on days when I'm working out or otherwise exercising.

I've been doing a lot of hiking this summer. One of the hikes that I routinely do was tough when I started this season. Now it is fairly easy for me. I hike it a couple times a week and barely feel that I've exerted myself! That's what happens when you condition yourself properly for something.

Yesterday, however, I forgot to eat anything before I set out on the hike. Boy, did I pay for that mistake in judgement!

I struggled a lot more than usual. I felt extremely low energy. The hike was not nearly as enjoyable as it usually is. Every step was an effort. This is not my usual experience on this hike.

I had already come to believe the wisdom of eating breakfast every day. When I got into that routine, I lost some weight and my workouts certainly went better. I believed that it was true, after a life time of doubting that old adage.

But yesterday, when I found myself struggling with what is normally an easy hike, it was crystal clear to me how important it is to have my fuel at the proper level before I exert myself. Essential even!

It translates to other areas of life as well. It is important to have the proper supplies for any endeavor that we undertake. If you try to do something without having the resources that you need, you are unlikely to succeed. It is very important to honor this as a law of the universe and act accordingly.

Make sure you prepare for your endeavors, whatever they may be. Pack the proper provisions. Fill the needed fuel tanks. Don't go on an empty tank. Fill it up and head out!

Proper preparation is essential to success!

Staying Out of the Storm

I had an interesting experience yesterday as I was meditating on my patio. It was a very hot day here in Seattle. I was sitting in the sun to get my much needed daily dose of Vitamin D.

I live in a wooded area, with many tall trees on all sides of my house.

As I sat there meditating with my eyes closed, I became aware that there was quite a wind blowing in the tree tops, high over my head. I was intrigued, because where I was sitting, there was only an occasional gentle breeze brushing against my skin.

How could the wind be blowing so hard above my head, but not be moving through the area I was sitting in. So close... and yet so far.

It made me think about how it is actually possible to be close to drama and yet not get sucked in. We can be close to a bad situation and yet remain calm. We can have chaos going on above us, below us and all around us, and refuse to lose our peace of mind.

Just because something is happening near us or around us, doesn't mean it has to be our direct experience or reality.

I'm thankful that the wind over my head came to remind me of this today. As it blew and swayed the trees back and forth above me, I sat in stillness - inside and out.

May we all cultivate the ability to be close to upheaval and yet remain at peace!

Carry the Trash Down The Mountain

I live in an immensely beautiful place. The Pacific Northwest is simply breathtaking. The natural beauty that surrounds us here is like nowhere else on earth.

I'm blessed to live in such a gorgeous place, and to be healthy enough to get out and enjoy it.

Yesterday, I took a hike, late in the afternoon, up a little mountain near my home. I hike this trail often.

I try to be a conscientious hiker. I yield to uphill hikers when I am heading down the mountain.

One of my most closely held beliefs about hiking is that we should keep the trails pristine and clean. I always pick up litter that I find along the path.

Generally, hikers in the pacific northwest are careful and concerned about the state of the trails. There usually isn't much trash along the way.

Yesterday, I hiked late in the day. As I got close to the top, a man passed me on his way down. He said, "It's just going to be you and one other at the top." I said, "Yeah... it's the end of the day."

I was happy about the news. I like to be at the top of the mountain alone. It's peaceful and restorative.

When I neared the top, the 'one other' person was heading down. I knew I'd be alone at the top. I was even more pleased!

As I climbed the last rocky section to the summit, I saw it. There, at the top of the rock formation at the top of the hike, was a plastic grocery sack of trash! It was tied neatly, although it was clear that birds had tried to pull the bag apart.

I looked around. Sure enough... I was alone. Someone from earlier in the day had had a little picnic at the summit and LEFT THEIR TRASH THERE. I was stunned and a little irritated.

Then, I realized that because it is my practice to pick up the trash - I was going to have to carry it down the mountain!

I had an instant reaction of, "This isn't fair!!! Come on God... why do I have to carry someone else's mess off the mountain??"

I knew I was going to do it, but that didn't stop the ensuing conversation in my head.

My commitment is to clean up any trails that I hike on - to the best of my ability. Usually this involves picking up small pieces of trash, dropped by accident. This, however, was a deliberate act of carelessness and disregard for the environment, and for other hikers.

I wondered about the 'burden' of cleaning up other people's messes and why I seem to be expected to do it - repeatedly!

In some ways, it isn't fair. To me, however, keeping our natural areas clean for all of us to enjoy, is something I will always be committed to. Sometimes, that means I have to do things that aren't fair and clean up the messes that others leave.

I was a bit surprised that none of the other hikers who were on their way down as I was going up had brought down this bag of trash. Most hikers are pretty aware of that 'law of the trail.'

None of it really mattered. I knew I needed to bring the trash down. I knew I would bring the trash down. It didn't matter if it was fair... it was simply the right thing to do.

I wanted the next hikers to experience the top in its pristine and natural state. I wanted to 'handle it' so that no one else had to.

Sometimes in life, we are asked to do things that are 'the right thing' even though it really isn't our job. Sometimes it isn't fair. Often it is frustrating, because we only are called to do it because someone else won't take responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Do the right thing... anyway.

Celebrate ~ by David Viscott

Today I just wanted to share a reading from a book of meditations for difficult times by David Viscott. This really spoke to me. Enjoy...

Celebrate

That you are alive.
That you won.
That although you were beaten, you are still here.
That you feel.
That a hummingbird visited you.
That the breeze carried the perfume of spring.
That the car started and the brakes held.
That the sunset was mauve and golden umber.
That the rose broke through at last and bloomed.
That you cried.
That you were remembered.
That you remember.
That the wind carried a message of hope.
That you love.
That you once loved.
That all music and art were intended just for you.
That you were right.
That you forgave.
That it rained and the rain forgave all of us.
That you are human, after all.

Being Nice at my Own Expense

I've had some 'appliance angst' this past couple weeks. All of a sudden I had a problem with my refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher and garbage disposal. All at the same time!

On Thursday, I called an appliance repair service and set up an appointment for the following Monday. At first I thought they could repair all the appliances. It turns out they didn't work on the type of refrigerator that I have. I had to call a different repair service for the refrigerator. Ironically, the refrigerator repair people were able to come the very day I called. I was happy to get it taken care of immediately.

When the repair guy showed up that Thursday, he handed me a business card. I noticed that it said they also repaired washing machines, dishwashers and garbage disposals.

I thought about the fact that I could talk to this guy about all my problems, and possibly have it all taken care of IMMEDIATELY.

Then I felt a bit guilty about the other repair service. I had already set the appointment with them for the following Monday.

I was also the last appointment on the repair schedule for the guy who was fixing my fridge. I felt it would be unfair to 'spring' all the other appliances on him.

I decided to remain silent, and keep the appointment with the other company on Monday.

I was out of town for the weekend. My activities took me longer than I thought they would, and on Sunday, I was really regretting that I had to return home for my 9am appliance repair appointment. I would never have cancelled on such short notice, however, so I made my way home to keep the appointment.

Just before 9am that Monday morning, the second repair company called and CANCELLED my appointment for that day! They had to reschedule!!! I was flabbergasted.

Then I realized, I hadn't done ANYONE any favors with my actions the previous Thursday. I tried to be considerate of everyone else's time and I had basically harmed myself!!

I ended up calling the first repair company back that Monday, and within 2 hours, the same repairman was back at my house to work on all the other appliances.

In my attempt to 'take care of everyone' I had caused myself a huge inconvenience, cost myself some additional money, and made this repair guy make an unnecessary trip to my house.

No one won in this scenario. It all originated because I felt 'overly responsible' for all these people, and I let that direct my actions, instead of what was best for me - they paying customer!

An investing teacher that I've studied with talks about the 'tuition' that we have to pay to learn our lessons. Of course, in investing, sometimes that tuition for learning hard lessons is paid in money. In other life experiences, our 'tuition' can be paid in money, pain, inconvenience and a host of other currencies!

I paid some tuition for this situation. What a lesson!

Sometimes when we put everyone else's needs above our own, we think we're doing a virtuous and generous thing. Often, however, we just end up making more work for ourselves and our efforts don't really help those we are trying to care take!

I'm not encouraging selfish oblivion here, but I am suggesting that it's OK to do what's best for ourselves once in a while.

Jack Boland, a teacher of mine used to say, "There is no private good." He meant that when we do what is truly best for us, it is usually what's best for others as well.

Some of us who try too hard to be self sacrificing need to examine that pattern and correct it.

Everyone in the 'appliance scenario' would have been better off, had I done what was best for me. Often times this is the case!

Any martyrdom or self sacrificing going on in your world? Take a look... and some corrective action!

One Year Ago Today

We humans like our anniversaries. We like to celebrate birthdays and other events that come once a year.

Sometimes, we have unpleasant annual anniversaries that we can't escape from.

One year ago today, my house was burglarized. It was a beautiful fall day. Bright sunshine and crisp cool temperatures promised a happy day. That was not to be.

Some tasks are forever tied to the burglary. I went to a furniture store that morning to get some replacement 'feet' for my kitchen chairs. Each time I have to replace those plastic feet, I am reminded of the terrible day of the burglary.

I learned a lot from the experience of having my home violated and my property taken. It took me a while to feel safe in my home again. I had a very 'primitive' reaction to the event and was really scared for about a month. I couldn't leave my house unattended for any length of time. I didn't want to come home after dark. I also had to open all my garage bay doors when I drove in, to make sure that no one was hiding in my garage.

All those fear responses faded relatively quickly.

I learned a lot about the way the insurance industry works, and how to best protect oneself when dealing with them. I also learned how to better protect myself and my property from this sort of event.

I have a also learned about detachment and letting go. Letting go of the the things I lost. Letting go of what they represented to me. Letting go of anger and resentment towards the people who entered my home and took my hard earned possessions.

It hasn't been an easy year. There was a lot of work - inside and out - to come through it all. It took a toll on me emotionally and physically.

Yet, I made it through.

It doesn't seem possible that it was a year ago. So much has gone on through the recovery from the ordeal. I'm a different person. I hope that I'm stronger and a bit wiser. I hope I'm a little less attached to my things, but a little smarter about functioning in this modern world.

Tough experiences mold us and shape us. We can let them crush us, or we can grow stronger as we move through them.

No matter what you are going through, or what 'tough anniversaries' you are facing today - persevere and reflect. Know that it can be just another stepping stone on the pathway of your life. Allow it to become part of the larger picture of your life, without defining you.

Hidden Treasures Revealed

I'm in the middle of a really exciting project! I am going through old family photo albums and scanning all the pictures. Getting all the photos into the computer is a great way to preserve and share them. It is a time consuming and laborious task. I know at the end of the road I will have a treasure, but it is a rather tedious task on a moment by moment basis.

There is something, however, that keeps it interesting as I scan photo after photo. Many of the pictures that I'm scanning are really small. Sometimes it is tough to even see who is in the picture.

Each time I scan in a photo, I am able to see it greatly enlarged on my computer screen. On many occasions I have been delighted to see that the subject of the photograph is my father as a young boy! What was basically not visible in the original photograph becomes crystal clear when it is scanned and enlarged by the computer!

The entire family is going to be excited when they see the scanned photos, because so many of the small photos were 'mysteries.' You couldn't really tell who was in them. We have a lot of wonderful photographs, that basically didn't exist to us before I undertook this project. What a gift!

I had no idea that I would have this result. I didn't realize how much I would discover in this process!

The photos were right there in front of me. Looking at them from my ordinary, normal perspective, however, did not reveal the true content within them! I had to enlarge them and look at them up close.

This is a concept that can really help us in life. Sometimes when we look at a situation from our normal, every day perspective, we miss the 'meat' and the 'message.' At a normal 'view' we can't always see what's right in front of us.

If we are having trouble determining the meaning of something that is happening in our life, it is a good idea to look at it from a variety of perspectives. It is also a good idea to look very, very closely to see the details that otherwise might be lost.

Just like enlarging a photograph can reveal previously unseen details, we can look more closely at our life experiences, and change our vantage point in order to see them more clearly.

You might discover the hidden treasure in the midst of a difficult situation! Or you could suddenly gain insight into something that was previously murky and unclear.

Give yourself a new perspective and see what happens!

The Source of the Smell

Have you ever had something rotting in your refrigerator? You open the door and... "WHOA!" You are almost knocked over by a foul odor. It happens to all of us.

Sometimes the cause of the smell is quite apparent. Other times, it requires a bit of sleuthing to uncover the offending item.

This past week, I had a horrible smell coming from my refrigerator, and I couldn't readily identify what was causing it. There was nothing 'obvious' that would create such a strong and offensive smell!

One thing was for sure. Until I got to the root cause of the odor, it wasn't going away. I could have sprayed room deodorizer for the rest of my life! But if I didn't remove the source of the smell, it would not go away.

I have 2 open boxes of baking soda in my fridge. That helps to 'absorb' odors on the fridge. It wasn't TOUCHING this bad boy!

Sometimes we have thing in our lives that are as smelly as the things that rot in our refrigerators. Relationships that are toxic, jobs that we allow to destroy our health, habits that are destructive and behavior patterns that hurt us. We can self medicate until the cows come home, but as long as we refuse to deal with the SOURCE of our pain, and just focus on trying to 'cover' or 'mask' the symptoms (the bad smell) we will not find a solution.

I had to take a bunch of things out of my refrigerator. It took a while before I found the offending item, which interestingly enough was a 'past it's prime' avocado. I was kind of shocked that something that looked so good on the outside could be creating such an unpleasant and powerful stench!

Lots of times, in our lives, we *think* something is good for us in our lives, when it is actually creating pain and hardship. It's kind of amazing how we can convince ourselves that something is harmless, or even good for us, when it's actually destructive!

Bottom line, if something is 'off' in your life, it is important to look for the root cause or causes and address them directly. My fridge (and kitchen) would still stink if I hadn't removed and tossed the rotting avocado. No amount of room deodorizer or baking soda would have made it stop rotting and stinking up the place.

Got any good looking, but inwardly rotting avocados in your life? Open that fridge up and clean house! Fix the real problem, and stop wrestling with the symptom!

Remembering 9-11

It's hard to believe that 8 years have passed since that fateful day in 2001 when the skies of NYC were darkened with fear and horror.

I was supposed to be in NYC that day. I had planned a trip to visit NYC from Sept 9 - 12, 2001. My plan was to depart NYC on September 12th for the Middle East.

I tried and tried to make that NYC trip work, but I just couldn't fit it in. I've often wondered about it. I could very well have been in NYC on that day. Something kept me from being there. At times I'm grateful, and other times I feel like maybe I was supposed to be there.

Because I couldn't get my schedule to accommodate being in NYC from Sept 9 - 12th, my plan ended up being to fly on September 12, 2001 from Seattle to NYC, then on to the Middle East. That didn't happen.

I woke up on September 11th, 2001 and checked my phone messages. Often I received calls from people in the Middle East over night (because of the time difference). I wasn't surprised that on the day before my trip there, I would have a message waiting for me.

The message that waited for me, however, was not from the middle east. It was from my aunt in Oregon, who was terrified that I was flying THAT DAY, Sept 11, 2001. She said, "We hope to GOD that you are home... and that you stay that way!"

We all know what happened that day. Something horrible. Something shocking. Something unthinkable. Terror reached the unreachable shores of America. Suddenly, the world became a lot smaller.

The horror of that day was something that we will never forget. To the people in NYC, my heart goes out to you all. It was such a disturbing and wounding experience.

We all remember that day, and my hope continues to be that we all realize the world is one family. Though this was our first true experience with terrorism in this country, the rest of the world has been experiencing such violence for a long time. We are part of the human family. We are not immune to the horrors of this world.

My hope and prayer continues to be that we, as Americans become as proud of being part of the human family, as we are of being part of the American family.

Say a prayer for all those who lost loved ones in 9-11 today. Also say a prayer for everyone in this world who is touched by violence, oppression and injustice. It's all related.

Unexpected Expenses

In life, we can't predict everything that will happen to us. That is an impossible task.

Today, I had a repairman come to look at my refrigerator. I thought I had a minor problem. $400 later, my 'coolant' is recharged and I'm good to go. I never expected to have to pay $400 to keep my refrigerator running. It's only 9 years old.

Yet, unexpected repairs and expenses are part of life.

I have appointments scheduled for a broken washing machine, and a flaky dishwasher and malfunctioning garbage disposal. It's all part of owning a house and keeping things running smoothly. It is still surprising, and at times, annoying to have unexpected expenses creep into your budget!

My investing teacher talks about 'paying tuition' in order to learn life lessons. Sometimes we learn things in life and it costs us money (or time, energy, pride, etc.)

It's a part of the journey to have things happen in life that are difficult, sometimes painful, and yet always... there is the potential for learning.

That's how I like to look at it. When it doesn't seem to make any sense at all, I just trust that there is a lesson coming to me via the current experience.

Sometimes life gives us feedback on how we are conducting our affairs. Sometimes that 'feedback' costs us in some form or fashion. We can rail against the reality, or we can process our feelings about it, harvest the lesson and move on to be wiser and more educated.

Is life extracting any tuition from you at this time? Have you had any 'unexpected expenses' arise in your life.

Realize it's all part of the process. Take what is yours to learn/take and move forward. It can be something that stops you in your tracks OR... it can be a stepping stone to your greater future! The choice is yours!!

Resistance is Futile

I spent some time at the coast last week. I was showing a friend from Palm Springs one of my favorite places in the world: Cannon Beach Oregon. It is a beautiful and special place.

One of the special features are the tide pools at the base of a big rock formation there. The rock formation is called, "Haystack Rock" because, well, it resembles a haystack!

Tide pools contain all sorts of wonderful sea creatures. I took a lot of photos of the amazing variety of colors and critters in the tide pool.

One starfish really caught my attention. He stood out from all the other dozens of starfish that I saw that day.

Here he is:

Does this look comfortable to you?

He's hanging on, contorting himself to do so. It's clear that he needs to just 'let go' but for some reason, he is resisting. It looks painful!

It looks like he's being bent and twisted into terrible discomfort, all because he will not let go of the rock he's attached to, reposition himself somewhere else and just get on with it!

I have been that starfish, in my life, more times than I care to admit: attached, scared to let go, putting myself in terrible pain and discomfort because of my unwillingness to accept the fact that the time has come to

JUST

LET

GO!!!!

When the time comes to let go, resistance is futile! We can rail against the tide and forces that are making it clear, but that doesn't change the fact that eventually we will LET GO. Whether we want to or not.

I suggest we learn to let go. When the tide is pounding us into submission. When life is giving us the spiritual 2X4 upside the head... it is time to LET GO.

The sooner we learn to let go, the easier and more peaceful our life will be!

Open the Shades & Let in the World

Today I had a special treat. I was trying on clothes in my bedroom in an effort to put together some new outfits. I wanted to have as much light on the subject as possible, so I did something out of the ordinary: I opened the shades in my room. The light made the room much brighter!

As I was trying on clothes in front of the mirror, I noticed something moving in the yard, out of the corner of my eye... it was a black bear!

I've lived here for 9 years. I've never seen a bear in my yard!

I stopped my process, grabbed my camera and started snapping photos. It was really really exciting!

If I hadn't opened the shades, I would have never seen the bear! What a gift I received by opening the shades and letting in the world!

Sometimes we shut ourselves away from the world and don't look at all that is available to us. We may feel like we're doing the right thing... but there is always an alternative!

I believe we are meant to open ourselves fully to life! It takes courage and willingness to step into that experience!

Open your shades today and maybe you'll see something amazing in your life!

Here's my bear!!

The Unusual Bloom

It's September in Seattle. The temperature is getting colder and the days are growing shorter. There is a crispness in the air that lets us all know that fall is just around the corner.

The plants are preparing to drop their leaves or otherwise settle into 'cold weather mode.'

This morning, I was doing my 30 minutes of cardio on the treadmill as I looked out the window into my back yard. Something caught my eye. It was a single bloom on a small plant that usually blooms early in the spring. A bright red blossom stood out boldly against the green leaves of this little shrub.

"How brave." I thought to myself. I wondered at my reaction. Why would I think this about the lone little blossom?

Sometimes that's how my thoughts come to me. Something just 'pops out' and then I'm left to figure out what it means!

I realized that this little bloom seemed courageous to me because it was all alone in expressing itself at that moment. No other blossoms were coming out at this time of year! Something in it said "BLOOM" and it did.

In the human realm, if we do something that others around us aren't doing, we might be met with ridicule, criticism or even jealousy. If we outshine those around us, or achieve something that others haven't achieved it can sometimes be a lonely road!

In one of my favorite movies, "Rudy" there is a scene that speaks to this phenomenon. Rudy is a short, relatively unathletically talented young man who dreams of playing football for the University of Notre Dam. He hasn't got a chance of being on their team, but he's determined to try. Most of his family and friends ridicule him and make fun of his dream, AND of his efforts to pursue it. He persists... anyway.

Finally, after overcoming obstacle after obstacle, he is accepted as a member of the 'prep team' that helps the 'real team' get ready for it's games. One day, after practice, one of his 'prep team' teammates comes to him and says, "You need to dial it down out there. You are making us all look bad."

Rudy is giving 100% effort in pursuit of his dream. Those around him who don't give 100% don't like to be compared to him and his efforts. They try to squelch the drive and commitment that he displays. Fortunately, they fail to deter him from his course of action.

This is all too often the case, however. Others can sometimes be frightened and angered by those who simply give their best, shine or bloom... even when it might cast light on those who are not doing so.

Yesterday, I had lunch in one of my favorite Fast Food restaurant chains, Taco Time. The one I went to yesterday is not one that I go to very often, because of its location. I'm used to a certain level of service in restaurants of this type. It's usually not horrible, but certainly not the best. On this particular day, however, I had a guy wait on me who was just exceptional. Friendly, efficient, accurate, enthusiastic, helpful... all could describe this guy. He moved quickly. He helped his coworkers. He smiled at everyone he encountered. Customers obviously appreciated him the same way I did. He certainly doesn't need to perform at the level, but I'm sure inspired that he did!

Just like the plant in my yard, I believe we are meant to give our best to this life, no matter what others around us are doing, what they think of us or how they treat us.

The little plant in my yard reminds me of people like "Rudy" or the Taco Time guy. It inspires me! I want to be like them!!

So, no matter what others around you may do or say when you persist, excel, and give your best:

Shine...anyway.

Bloom... anyway.

Give your very best... anyway.

My rogue September Bloomer!

Straight Up

Today I hiked a pretty impressive trail. It's about the 6th or 7th time I have hiked this trail in the past few years. I'm happy to say that all the physical conditioning I've been doing lately has made a huge difference. Today's hike was enjoyable and not at all painful. It felt great!


Mt. Si!

As I started up from the base of the mountain, I looked up into the giant evergreen trees surrounding me. They were very tall. I realized that as I climbed the 4 miles and 3200 feet to the summit, I would be passing the tops of these particular trees, and many trees positioned higher on the mountain. I had along way UP to go!

As I looked at these first trees, I realized that I could never go 'straight up' to my destination. Even if I had the proper tools to climb one of those trees, I wouldn't have the strength and skills to do so. It was not a route that I could take to the top.

Instead, I would spend the next 2 hours on the trail, putting one foot in front of the other. Step, by step by step. One switchback after another. I would still reach the summit, but it wasn't the most direct route.

Often times, in life, we are not able to go directly to a goal or objective. Going straight to ultimate goal is not usually an option. We often have to take a winding, circuitous route to get there.

The point is, we can still get there!

As I looked at those giant trees, I realized that I would soon be high above them. I wouldn't get there instantly, or without effort, but I would get there!

Whatever road you find yourself on today, realize that you can get where you're going. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and never lose sight of your destination!